Journey to Life Day 36 - Writers Block - what do to?

 

If you don't know what to write about then write about not knowing what to write about and why you don't know what to write about

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not know what to write about - not realizing that I am resisting to write and in that resistance I subconsciously get a blank head and don't know what to write about

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to block out all point that need direction to make myself believe that i have nothing to write about

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give into this resistance and not write instead of pushing through the resistance and write regardless

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i have nothing to write about - not realizing that its an excuse so that I don't have to face the resistance.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to write regardless of the resistance and that I give up and not follow through

I forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that not knowing what to write about is me not wanting to face a point and not wanting to walk through  a point

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to block out all point that need direction to make myself believe that I have nothing to write about

I forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that there are many many points to write about so the excuse there is nothing to write about is invalid.

I forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed myself to block out all point that need direction to make myself believe that I have nothing to write about

I commit myself to not use the excuse that I don't have anything to write about, and the excuse that I don't know what to write about.

I commit myself to see that there are many points to face and to write about so there is no excuse

I commit myself to then face the resistance head on and to write regardless

I commit myself to stop blocking out points so that I don't know what to write about - but to instead see that I am doing it and to then stop it so that I can write

I commit myself to realize that any point that comes up that keeps me from writing is an excuse - its a resistance and I commit myself to push through it so that I can write.

Journey to Life Day 35 - Being Special

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be special and want to stand out above the rest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to be normal like everybody else

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be noticed by others and praised so that i can feel good about myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be a important person that other people can admire

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe  that my life would be so much easier if I was special and that it would be more exciting

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that me wanting to be special is me not accepting myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to to believe that the only way for me to get ahead in life is to special - not realizing that this is a belief based on my perception as a child that life is a competition.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to instead of wanting to be special to accept myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the only way to survive in this world is to compete and thus i have to be special.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that nobody is special and that nobody is more than another.

I commit myself to realize that I do not need to compete to survive this life

I commit myself to realize that nobody can be more than another and that nobody is special.

I commit myself to stop wanting to be more than others or stand out more - I stop my ego.

I commit myself to instead of wanting to be admired by others to accept myself - because if I cannot accept myself I cannot change myself for I will always resent who I am

I commit myself to realize being special wont make life easier, but that I will have to face this world with who I am

Journey to Life Day 34 - I want to love again

 

I forgive that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to love again - to feel the feeling of love which makes me feel good.

I forgive that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold on to a picture/idea of what love is - that was based on how my mother loved me and ideas formed around former relationships.

I forgive that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to re-experience love so much that i dedicate my life to look for it

I forgive that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold on to memories of love and wanting to relive those memories and to be saddened by these memories - not realizing that they are not real, but that the feeling is what i have created.

I forgive that I have accepted and allowed myself to in this desire to relive past memories to believe that only others can ignite the fire in my soul and to forever more search for 'the one' to make me love again

I forgive that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i will never be fulfilled unless I have found 'the one' and that I absolutely must to all it takes to find the one - not realizing that i am the one who create these feelings so what i am actually doing is compromising life - by ignoring what is really going on and not caring bout that what really matters but only thinking bout myself and making myself happy

I forgive that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that the want to love again is an act of utter selfishness - where i only care about my own happiness and in that not caring at all about others and sorting out this world

I forgive that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that life's goal is to find somebody to love and spend the rest of my life with them - and in this life's goal i completely missed the point - what about others?

I forgive that I have accepted and allowed myself to become blinded by my own feelings of love that I not even considered that i have the power to make a change this life - that i can make a difference - but instead I only looked after my own happiness.

I forgive that I have accepted and allowed myself to become sad when I don’t have somebody to love and who will love me back and accept me for who i am - not realizing that if everybody accepted each other for who they are then there will be ZERO change in this life.

I forgive that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that love is a feeling - not realizing that feelings are not real - that love is action is practical movement and something that can be proven in the physical.

I forgive that I have not accepted and allowed myself to love myself to such an extend that I would do anything in my power to become effective so that I can make a change this life.

I commit myself to stop the delusion that love is a feeling but to see that love is practicality in action. That love is to never accept life the way it now to but to dedicate myself to make life as it should be - where all can truly live free

I commit myself to let go of memories that i want to relive and re-experience

I commit myself to realize that i created the feeling of love based on my past experiences and that nobody else can give it to me.

I commit myself to stop the search for the one, because I am the one and the only one who can change me

I commit myself to then not want to love again - but to love myself now enough to give myself the gift of life and others the gift the life to be free.

Journey to life day 33 - Why should I do it?!

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have backchat in relation to fairness and my believe of what is fair when I have to do something that somebody else could have done

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when asked to do something become irritated and and angry  because I have to do it and want somebody else to do it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to to become angry at the person who asked me to do it and then have thoughts about shouting at them why should I do it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is not fair that I have to do it - but that somebody else must do it

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that the anger and irritability I experience is because I so not want to do it - and out of that use backchat because I want someone else to do it

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that fairness doesn't exist - and that i have a created a perception of what is fair and not fair and. And if fairness really existed this world would not be what it is today

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that wanting somebody else to do it is ego - its me seeing myself as better than others and trying to assert authority just because i don’t want to do it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be spiteful  in wanting somebody else to do it, because i want them go through the discomfort I went through

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that the answer for the question ''why should i do it'' is ''because im able to''. And that anything else is me wanting to abdicate responsibility and laziness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not to take responsibility but rather let somebody else take responsibility - not realizing that  in this i am without self direction and will in no way be able to sort out this world to make it a better place to live in but that i will always want somebody else to do it. And then when everybody wants somebody else to do it we end up with a world we see today...

I commit myself to when ask to do something stop the backchat and the anger and the irritability and the urge to say WHY ME

I commit myself to do something simply because I'm able to

I commit myself to do more than what is expected of me when i am able to

I commit myself to not use the excuse i have done it many times before its time you do it when i don't feel like doing something

I commit myself to see that the world is not fair and in that fairness doesn't exist  and so not use the excuse of 'its not fair'

I commit myself to let go the delusion that is my ego - to realize that as long as i have an ego i can never make a difference in this world but will always contribute to its abusiveness

I commit myself to stop the spitefulness that comes with wanting somebody else to do it - to want them to go though the discomfort I have - but to instead live my life so that no being will have to go through unnecessary discomfort

Journey to Life Day 32 - Why Being Positive Is not a Solution

 

I Forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that thinking positive will make the world a better place - not realising that only thinking positive I ignore all the ''negative'' and in that ignoring i actually make the world worse

I Forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore all the things I do not like and deem bad and to believe that it would actually make this world a better place

I Forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to believe that positive thinking will attract only the positive and ward of the negative - because it makes my life easier and makes me feel good - not realizing that I am ignoring reality and the rest of world

I Forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that positive thinking is not a solution - that I am creating an illusionary world within myself that only affects me.

I Forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become blinded by positive thinking that i do not even see the evidence and proof that positive thinking is not a solution  - that I ignore the worsening condition of the world that is proof in it self that positive thinking is not making the world a better place

I Forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that if I only look at the good and the positive then the world will seems like a good place - not realizing that what i am doing is ignoring all the abuse and suffer and in that do nothing to prevent the abuse and suffering - in effect allowing it to continue and thus making the world worse.

I Forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the abuse and suffering in the world and to fear that it will effect me and out of fear to shun and ignore it in an attempt to get away from it till i believe that it doesn't exist anymore - and then to claim i am making the world a better place

I Forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I cannot think away the suffering of this world - because thinking is my head and not real as the physical earth or as real as the suffering and abuse in this world.

I Forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that the only way to make this world a better place is realize that the problem lies within me - that we as humans created this world as it is today and that I accepted and allowed this system by my participation in it and not doing anything to change it. And so to change the world I have to change myself

I Forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to put in the effort to change myself - my actions and who I am so that I can be an effective self directed human that do what is best for all - to live as an example to others and direct others to do the same.

I commit myself to see that positive thinking actually makes this world much worse by not giving in attention and allowing it to continue

I commit myself to face the bad and the ugly of this world that we have created and not to fear it - but to  dedicate my life to make sure that all suffering and abuse ends - to make sure that my children and their children will wake up in a world free from the suffering  that so many have to endure daily

I commit myself to then stop positive thinking and to instead practically change myself so that i can be effective and self directed to actually make a difference in this world instead of being stuck in a bubble in my head.

I commit myself to promote and create a new world system where every being will have an actual chance to a life worth living

Journey To Life Day 31 - Being Overwhelmed

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel overwhelmed - that everything is too much for me handle

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the world is a gainst me and out to get me when everything seems to go wrong

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame myself when things go wrong seeing myself as a failure and not being good enough and experiencing unworthiness when things get tough

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience hopelessness when i believe that I cannot face what is here and to get lost in the magnitude of the problem we are facing here on earth before we can make this world a world worth living in

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I don't have the power to face this life, but to give in to fear and to allow fear to direct me - not realising that I haven't given even myself a chance  to realise the power I have to change my life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to get everything done fast because i fear i wont have enough time to get it all done - and in that haste and fear to look at the big picture and get overwhelmed by it not realizing that i wont get it done fast and worrying about the future is utterly pointless

I forgive myself that I have mot accepted and allowed myself to breathe - to focus one point at a time and realize that through time and  accumulation one point becomes many points and in that ill get things done effectively instead of doing nothing by worrying 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that blaming myself has no point - self blame is knowing I am responsible but wallowing about it and not doing something about it.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to to instead of blaming myself when things go wrong to take self responsibility - in that take action and do what needs to be done - instead of doing nothing

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I have the power the face any point that comes up in my life and that each point is an opportunity for me to push though and become stronger and more effective

I commit myself to stop becoming overwhelmed when looking at the big picture but to take it day by, breathe by breath, point by point.

I commit myself to accept that this will take time - and that there is no quick fix

I commit myself to realize that hopelessness cannot exist if i breath and take it one step at a time and that i can only be overwhelmed if I  believe that i am not able to walk this process

I commit myself to give myself the chance to walk this process and to realize that i do in fact have the power to stand and face whatever points comes up.

I commit myself to realize that all fear is my doing and that it is not real

I commit myself to give myself worth and the power to face each point

Journey To Life Day 30 - Process Update

 

I have reached 30 days - yeaay for me! To make sure that my writing is effective and that i am  not  deceiving myself I would like to take a look back at my writings and see what I committed to and what I am not yet really committing to. To see where direction is required and where i am effective before I move on to other points. So I will be doing this every now and again as a means to double check and cross reference what I do. I realize that this process is going to take long so I am not talking here about commitments where I am committing myself but still slip up so to speak - I am talking about the points where I am not giving my best at all but still allowing.

So here we go:

Point 1

I commit myself to stop making excuses and give into the resistance that comes when working on points I don’t want to - day 17.

Here I still allow some points where resistance is heavy to give in and not do what I was set out to do -

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to not be able to keep to this commitment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself because i could not keep a commitment

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see myself as not good enough because I cannot commit to some points

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to push through all resistance's and to see that there is no excuse for not doing what I said I would do

I commit myself to stop any excuses and to push through all resistance's to do what I said I would and to do what needs to be done

I commit myself to stop judging myself when I fall on points - but to learn from it and move on

I Commit myself to stop seeing myself as a failure because I cant commit to points.

I commit myself to realize that this is going to take time and dedication.

Point 2

I commit myself to stop the thoughts before they accumulate frustration

This was in my Frustration blog - I still get frustrated and moody which is a direct result of allowing accumulated thoughts/backchat

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow backchat as thoughts where i am feeding the energy addiction and eventually become an asshole where im nasty to others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not breath effectively - because if i was breathing I wont be in my mind back chatting.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to give up the back chat - because it make me see myself better than others and I always win

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be better than others - not realizing that I then create separation and inequality which are major issues in the world today

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not actually stop the thoughts 

I commit myself to stop the noise in my head - because its blocking out the world around me making me unable to hear and see what needs to done to make this world a world worth living

I commit myself to stop the back chat so that i can stop being an asshole who snaps at others and blame others when it is I who allowed myself to become irritated

I commit myself to breathe and be aware of my breath and see that breath is life - and if I am not aware of my breath then I am not aware of life thus in my own world unaware.

I commit myself to be HERE in every moment so that I don't miss out on the opportunities that come everyday.

 

So there will be points that i will have more difficulty with and often requires more self forgiveness and some simply need more discipline. That's Day 30 for now

Journey to Life Day 29 - Past Memories

 

 

When I was a kid my parents took us to see large machines shaped like dinosaurs. I really like dinosaurs so I really wanted to go and I remember the tickets were not cheap. But when we went in the dinosaurs were really big and scary and load. I got so scared that I started to cry and scream and wanted out and so we all had leave. When we got outside I regretted it because my parents got the ticket so that I can see the show but then it was just a waste of money.

And to this day that memory still pops up and I still feel the regret

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get a fright when I hear loud noises

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that loud noises can hurt me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to link loud noises with my parent yelling at me and in that believe that loud noises mean angriness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my parents were disappointed at me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let money direct me and make me feel regret for wasting their money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have wasted their money - realizing that its my projected believe and how i perceived the situation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold to this memory and reliving the regret instead of never let go of this memory

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by this memory in trying to live my life in such a way that I never experiences regret and in that live not really living

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to based in this experience fear regret and not allowing myself to live life

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to direct myself in clearing myself from this experience so that I can live my life self directed instead of being directed and haunted by the past

I commit myself to stop fearing loud noises and not to associate loud noises to conflict

I commit to stop being disappointed in myself by doing what i am able to do to the best of my ability

I commit myself to stop regret - I cannot change the past and if i would have done things differently I would have sp there no point in regretting

I commit myself to learn from the experiences to see what I can do to change the point so that I don't have the same experience

I commit myself to  stop allowing myself to be directed by the past and to let go of the past so that I life self directed 

I commit myself stop projecting myself unto others and to stop assuming the worst.

I commit myself to see the importance of letting go of the past - because who i am today is because of the past and if I don't let go  i can never be self directed but will always be directed by the past.

Journey to life day 28 – I am right and you are wrong!

Ever got into an argument where no matter how much common sense is thrown at you you simply wont listen? Where all common sense goes out the window and you simply don’t make any sense? Or you are in an argument and you will do everything to prove that you are right and be utterly stubborn? Ego is a funny and dangerous thing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be right when I am arguing with someone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to do everything in my power to make sure I win and that I am right and the other person is wrong

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not listen and be utterly stubborn and only see one way which is my way so that I can be right.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as superior to the person I am arguing with and try to bring them down so that they are inferior.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to defend myself against becoming inferior by becoming nasty

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to be wrong because that would hurt my ego and reputation, and that must be defended at all cost and is more important than anything else

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that the only reason I want to be right is because of ego and me wanting to be superior

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that my ego is not the most important thing in life – and I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to  be humility – humble – to see that it doesn’t matter who is right and who is wrong.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that just to prove that I am right to boost my ego is far less important than building a relationship with another – and that proving that I am right benefits nothing but my ego which is essentially useless.

I commit myself to end the need to want to be right

I commit myself to stop my ego and to see the ego as the most important thing in life which I must defend and boost at all cost

I commit myself to be humble instead of nasty and egotistical - because life is more important than the need for me  to be right

I commit myself to not bring others down with words just so that I can be superior and more effectively prove I am right

I commit myself to stop the fear of being inferior to others – realizing that its an idea and believe I made up that someone can be more or less than others is only a perception.

I commit myself to not be stubborn and see things only my way, but to consider others and input of others and use common sense

I commit myself to stop the energy that comes with heated arguments where all common sense and humility goes out the window where the mind takes over – to stop this be here and make sure I don’t speak from anger but that I am self directed.

Journey to Life Day 27 - Fear of those close to me Dying

 

I Forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear those close to me dying

I Forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in this fear not wan ting to get close to others - because I don't want to face the pain of them leaving.

I Forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let past experiences of death affect me and to hold on to it throughout my life

I Forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to close myself up and limit myself to make sure I don't get close to anybody, but to keep them at a distance and push away and also suppress myself to make sure that when they die I wont feel pain

I Forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become overwhelmed with sadness when I think of what will happen if somebody dies that's close to me - in that further suppress myself and push those away so that I don't  have to face the pain.

I Forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to to stop the thoughts of those close to me dying - not realizing that I am reliving my past experiences of death and pain over and over and not letting go

I Forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that to live life in fear of death I am in fact fearing to live life - not wanting to take changes and playing it safe. This is not living life free but living in constant fear. I Forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that i am being selfish only thinking of myself - because in my fear of others dying and not wanting to get close i deny them any support from me. In this fear of death I limit myself and will never be effective in supporting others

I Forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to  define myself by this fear of death and to believe that is who I am and that it will forever scar me for life and be a part of me.

I Forgive myself that I have not yet accepted and allowed myself to let go of the past and move on and allow the past to affect my present and future.

I commit myself to stop thinking about others dying and reliving the pain

I commit myself to stop allowing  past experiences to dictate my life

I commit myself to let go of the past and to not let fear keep me from getting to know others

I commit myself to realize that life is really fucked up - and that death is a part of life and that I can do nothing to stop it - but not to fear it and allow it to change who I am and what I do

I commit myself to live life in spite of the pain that comes with it - and to live life is to live it in such a way that others may also live it and to not stop living life to the best of my ability.

I commit myself to stop hiding and suppressing myself and to stop pushing people away - because that is me being selfish and only thinking of myself

Journey to life day 26 - Tomorrow everything will be OK.

Tomorrow everything will be OK.

Listen to this as you read:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SW3f0fkTPd8

There is a hope that just tomorrow everything will change and be ok.

I don’t have to do anything because something else will solve it for me.

There is a hope that I will wake up tomorrow and everything will be fine.

Common sense here dictates that if I don't change something today it won’t change tomorrow.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hope that tomorrow all my problems will go away.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hope that some higher power will make tomorrow ok and that if I hope hard enough everything will be ok

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want things to change but am unwilling to do what needs to be done to bring the change

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that feelings and emotions will change the future and make my problems go away

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire that just tomorrow will be a better day where my problems will magically go away

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that my problems won’t go away by their own, but that I have to change and sort them out.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that no higher power will change me for me, but that I am responsible for me.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to take responsibility for myself to sort out my own issues

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that my actions not only affects me but others as well and in that I am responsible for others as well.

I commit myself to stop the hope that some higher power will change me

I commit myself to stop the believe that something will magically make tomorrow a better day

I commit myself to stop hope, because hope is just that – a word, a belief that something or somebody else will do it for me

I commit myself to take responsibility for my self – because I am also responsible for others

I commit myself to realize that if I don’t make any changes today then obviously there will be no changes tomorrow

I commit myself to realize that if I am the same today then tomorrow will be today and I will be the same.  I have to make the changes to be the change that would change tomorrow

I commit myself to realize that feelings and emotions won’t change a thing

Journey to life day 25 - I Never Questioned This Life

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to never question this life - to from when i was a child to simply accept this world for what it is and never saw that this world is really messed up

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to go through life and see the abuse, but never looked for way to end it and just blindly accept it.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to look at people on the streets and think it is normal and that somebody will help them.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to never see that this world as it exist today was created and we created the system and all its abuse.

I forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed myself to see that we can also create a system where there is no abuse and every being to have equal life - but that starts with me

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to blame the government or others for the situation of earth - and not to realize i participate in this system daily without ever considering alternatives

I forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed myself to look for alternatives and solution to this world, but to only fend for myself instead of looking for ways where all abuse ends and everyone has true freedom

I forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed myself to dedicate my life to make sure that all abuse stops.


I forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed myself to realize how enslaved i am and how money has become the most important things in life.

I commit myself to never again accept the way life is now


I commit myself to to always question this life


I commit myself to never give up on finding solutions to the problems in this world


I commit myself to dedicate my life to make sure that i can say when i die that i did everything in my power to make this world a world worth living in.


I commit myself to forever reveal the atrocities we  have allowed in this world


I commit myself to show others what i see and to ensure that i am most effective in order to effectively reveal common sense and that there are solution to this world

Journey to life day 23 - Being unaware

This happens quite often - do you find yourself walking to a room, get there and then not remembering why? Do you look at your watch for the time and then after you looked someone ask you what the time is and then you don't know?

Today I went to make myself some tea - but I made coffee instead. In these situations you"ll find that the reason this happens is because your not here in the moment but n your head thinking, being unaware of the world around you.
 Your body is still here so it goes into auto-mode while you are in your head - and the silly things happen

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be unaware of my environment by going to a place in my head.

I forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed myself to to see that the place in my head is not real

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give up my self distinctiveness by allowing myself to not be here and allowing thoughts to direct me

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to allow thoughts to direct me in not being here

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not stop the thoughts so that i can be here and be aware of myself  and not miss take the world around me

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to go into behavior patterns in allowing myself to go into auto-mode where i have no self direction and being directed

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to walk into a room and have no idea why i wanted to go there in the first place - in this allowing myself to go into my head as i walk and not being here and thus unaware with no self directive power.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give my thoughts power over me by allowing my thoughts to direct me

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the thoughts are real and have power over me

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to leave this moment HERE to project myself into the future and in that not being here in the moment

I commit myself to stop believing that thoughts have power over me

I commit myself to stop allowing thoughts to direct me in not being here

I commit myself to stop the thoughts so that i can remain here

I commit myself to be here

I commit myself to breath to assist me in being here

I commit myself to be self directive

I commit myself to not give my power away to thoughts, feelings and emotions

I commit myself to not be aware of myself so that when i see myself going into my head to stop it immediately to bring myself back here

I commit myself to stop projecting myself into the future, but to remain in the moment

Journey to life day 22 + 24 - Being Mooooooooody (updated)

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become moody

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to in my moodiness become irritated and snap at people

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to blame the world around me for what is happening to me

I forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed myself to see that i created the moodiness through accumulated  backchat of thoughts that i have not stopped

I forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed myself to stop the backchat

I commit myself to stop the backchat of thoughts, feelings and emotions that lead to me being moody and getting irritated and snapping at people

I commit myself to stop blaming the world for what i am responsible for


So the above i wrote on my day 22, but as you can see it is very short and unspecific which in not acceptable. What happened is that i wrote a blog but the connection dropped when i pressed post and i didn't  save the blog so I lost all my writing. I didn't want to redo all my writing so i wrote the above - which was not acceptable so here we go:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use my blog got deleted as an excuse not to be consistent

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be lazy

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not want to redo a blog and use the excuse i already did it and don't need to do it again

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become angry at the computer for losing my blog

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself not become angry at myself for not saving my blog

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to to give into resistances and not do what i know i should  have done

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to then try and get away with the bare minimum just because i don't want to redo a post

I forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that if  i am unwilling to redo what i do then what i do is not real and has no meaning or value and thus i have to prove to myself consistency by being willing to redo everything i did.

I forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed myself to to be consistent no matter what the circumstance


I commit myself to not use excuses when i don't feel like doing something
I commit myself to stop being lazy

I commit myself to be consistent no matter what

I commit myself to if i have to redo what i did to prove to myself that i am indeed able to

I commit myself to not be inconsistent when i experience resistances

I commit myself to push through these resistances so that i can do what i said i would

I commit myself to not again post half done crap but to put out to the best of my ability

I Commit myself to see that my action doesn't just effect me, but effects others and that has consequences on a whole lot more than just my world. So commit myself to consider the consequences and outflows of my actions.

Journey to life day 21 - I am not Worthy of Life

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as not worthy

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to through years of backchat created an self image of me being inferior to others and took this as my self religion and believed it is who i am

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to though this belief always place myself second and placing everyone else first - compromising myself to keep others happy because i dont deserve to be joy

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see myself and who i am as ugliness and dark based on my thoughts feelings and emotions - not realizing that i am not my thoughts feeling or emotions.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as a failure - because i am unable to move faster in changing myself to become an effective human being standing for the end of all abuse

I forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed myself to see the progress and actions and abilities i have devolved and to see that as not enough

I forgive myself that i have mot accepted and allowed myself to give myself worth

I commit myself to stop seeing myself as not worthy

I commit myself to give myself worth

I commit myself to see that this process will take time

I commit myself to give myself credit for what i have done so far will help from others.

Journey to life day 20 - Jealousy

I Forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be jealous of someone

I Forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to want what they have

I Forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as less than those who have what i want

I Forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself

I Forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to through fear want to bring those down who have what i don't have - because if i cant have it nobody can

I Forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I cannot give myself the qualities i see in others

I commit myself to stop being nasty just to bring people down because i see myself as inferior

I commit myself to desiring what others have

I commit myself to see that i have separated myself from others by desiring

I commit myself to give myself the qualities i see in others

Journey to life day 19 - Sweet Sweet Revenge

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have thoughts of hurting someone for the pain they caused me

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that they are responsible for my pain

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to hold on to the pain and to believe that the only way for the pain to go away is to make them experience the pain

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by this pain and dedicate myself to have my revenge

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself not to see that i am the one who created the pain - nobody can influence me unless i allow it - and thus i can stop the pain

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become possessed by the obsession of having my revenge.

I commit myself to stop the thoughts of wanting to make someone pay for what they did to me

I commit myself to stop the quest for revenge

I commit myself to stop holding on to the pain 

I commit myself to take self responsibility for myself and direct myself to stop the pain that i have created myself

I commit myself to stop allowing myself to be influenced by others

Journey to life day 18 - Do I Really love you?

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that  love is a feeling

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that What i feel is love for someone

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to want to hold on that feeling because it make ME feel good

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be willing to do everything and anything to protect this feeling of love - even compromise and sacrifice to keep this love

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself not to see that I alone feel this love

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not to see that this love i feel has nothing to do with the other person

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself not to see that i created this feeling based on what i believe the other person does and gives me

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the others person is responsible for my love

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i cannot give myself what another has shown me

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to limit the definition of what love really is by a mundane thing such as feeling

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by this feeling

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be limited by love - and give into fear of losing this love - and in this be not effective in directing someone to not allow their bullshit in fear of they not liking me and leaving me

I commit myself to stop the delusion of love as a feeling that limits and abuses life

I commit myself to se that i am the one creating these feeling =s and that it has nothing to do with the other person

I commit myself to see that what i love in another is something i have denied myself and that i have the power to give that to myself

I commit myself to see that if i really loved someone - my actions will be to direct another being to stand as life no matter what - instead of fearing loosing them

I commit myself to stop compromising myself to keep the idea and delusion of love alive