Journey To Life Day 30 - Process Update

 

I have reached 30 days - yeaay for me! To make sure that my writing is effective and that i am  not  deceiving myself I would like to take a look back at my writings and see what I committed to and what I am not yet really committing to. To see where direction is required and where i am effective before I move on to other points. So I will be doing this every now and again as a means to double check and cross reference what I do. I realize that this process is going to take long so I am not talking here about commitments where I am committing myself but still slip up so to speak - I am talking about the points where I am not giving my best at all but still allowing.

So here we go:

Point 1

I commit myself to stop making excuses and give into the resistance that comes when working on points I don’t want to - day 17.

Here I still allow some points where resistance is heavy to give in and not do what I was set out to do -

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to not be able to keep to this commitment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself because i could not keep a commitment

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see myself as not good enough because I cannot commit to some points

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to push through all resistance's and to see that there is no excuse for not doing what I said I would do

I commit myself to stop any excuses and to push through all resistance's to do what I said I would and to do what needs to be done

I commit myself to stop judging myself when I fall on points - but to learn from it and move on

I Commit myself to stop seeing myself as a failure because I cant commit to points.

I commit myself to realize that this is going to take time and dedication.

Point 2

I commit myself to stop the thoughts before they accumulate frustration

This was in my Frustration blog - I still get frustrated and moody which is a direct result of allowing accumulated thoughts/backchat

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow backchat as thoughts where i am feeding the energy addiction and eventually become an asshole where im nasty to others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not breath effectively - because if i was breathing I wont be in my mind back chatting.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to give up the back chat - because it make me see myself better than others and I always win

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be better than others - not realizing that I then create separation and inequality which are major issues in the world today

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not actually stop the thoughts 

I commit myself to stop the noise in my head - because its blocking out the world around me making me unable to hear and see what needs to done to make this world a world worth living

I commit myself to stop the back chat so that i can stop being an asshole who snaps at others and blame others when it is I who allowed myself to become irritated

I commit myself to breathe and be aware of my breath and see that breath is life - and if I am not aware of my breath then I am not aware of life thus in my own world unaware.

I commit myself to be HERE in every moment so that I don't miss out on the opportunities that come everyday.

 

So there will be points that i will have more difficulty with and often requires more self forgiveness and some simply need more discipline. That's Day 30 for now