Journey to Life Day 29 - Past Memories

 

 

When I was a kid my parents took us to see large machines shaped like dinosaurs. I really like dinosaurs so I really wanted to go and I remember the tickets were not cheap. But when we went in the dinosaurs were really big and scary and load. I got so scared that I started to cry and scream and wanted out and so we all had leave. When we got outside I regretted it because my parents got the ticket so that I can see the show but then it was just a waste of money.

And to this day that memory still pops up and I still feel the regret

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get a fright when I hear loud noises

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that loud noises can hurt me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to link loud noises with my parent yelling at me and in that believe that loud noises mean angriness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my parents were disappointed at me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let money direct me and make me feel regret for wasting their money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have wasted their money - realizing that its my projected believe and how i perceived the situation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold to this memory and reliving the regret instead of never let go of this memory

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by this memory in trying to live my life in such a way that I never experiences regret and in that live not really living

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to based in this experience fear regret and not allowing myself to live life

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to direct myself in clearing myself from this experience so that I can live my life self directed instead of being directed and haunted by the past

I commit myself to stop fearing loud noises and not to associate loud noises to conflict

I commit to stop being disappointed in myself by doing what i am able to do to the best of my ability

I commit myself to stop regret - I cannot change the past and if i would have done things differently I would have sp there no point in regretting

I commit myself to learn from the experiences to see what I can do to change the point so that I don't have the same experience

I commit myself to  stop allowing myself to be directed by the past and to let go of the past so that I life self directed 

I commit myself stop projecting myself unto others and to stop assuming the worst.

I commit myself to see the importance of letting go of the past - because who i am today is because of the past and if I don't let go  i can never be self directed but will always be directed by the past.