Day 307 - Stuck in the past? Fearing the Future? Never Living In the Present?

We always look back at life wishing we lived it more when we had the chance. Then we look at the future and fear the unknown. But when it comes to the Present – why don’t we live life to the fullest?

Day 277: What does it mean to be "Here" in the moment?

 

You have probably heard this a few times in life “Live in the moment”. What does it mean to live in the moment? What does it mean to be here in the moment? And more importantly why is it so hard to actually be here in the moment?

The next time you are doing something like cleaning your house or some gardening pay attention to where you thoughts go. I was walking through the orchard one morning assessing the damage from a recent hail storm which unfortunately destroyed most of the figs. Anyway, as I was looking at the trees and trying to fix some of the damage and salvage what I could, I was constantly thinking. Thoughts like thinking about what I’m going to do next and what I’m going to make myself for lunch and other plans of the week etc.

So while I was busy picking damage fruit and trimming broken branches I was thinking about other things. I was not actually here in the moment, but in the future looking at plans and things I am going to do next – instead of being here and focusing on what I’m currently doing.

So being here in the moment means actually being here in the moment. It’s Not thinking about the future and constantly being in your head. While I was thinking about these things while walking in the orchard my awareness was diminished. When I realized what was doing and stopped the thoughts to simply be here in the moment I could hear the birds that I did not notice before.

Not being fully here in the moment we tend to miss things – it is in these moments that we tend to misplace keys, or forget about turning the oven off or any other event of forgetfulness. Simply because when you were putting down the keys you were in your head and not actually aware of your environment.

So bring yourself back to earth and be Here

Part 3: The great Gifts ( And Downfalls) Of Being an Introvert - Stepping Past Limitations

 

Part 3: The great Gifts ( And Downfalls) Of Being an Introvert - Is Change possible?

I have been looking over the Internet and at the general idea of how people see Introverts. I have defined myself as an introvert and many points I read I can relate to. So today I want to give some perspective on introverts from personal experience, because what I have found in my life is that people do not fully understand the nature of an introvert and this leads to miscommunication and other problems

In part 2 I went into more detail with the traits: Being and Observer and Disliking small talk. Today I'm going to look at the other 2 common aspects of being an introvert which is:

Like Being Alone and Avoiding Conflict

I like spending time by myself. This does not mean I always want to be alone, simply that I like being alone and I am comfortable with myself. This I also see as a gift, because some people have a hard time being alone and need to always have someone to be comfortable.

The problem here with liking being alone comes when I am in social situations, sometimes it gets too much and then I feel the need to “escape” and be alone again. Also sometimes I will not feel like talking to people and will try and avoid/hide from people whenever possible or keep conversations short. There is a direct link between avoiding people and like being alone – with being alone it is not possible to develop any social skills. So the more you are around people the more you want to be alone again, because you lack the skills to participate.

It’s almost the point with avoiding conflict. In my previous post I wrote I wrote dealing with conflict means dealing with very forward kind if aggressive people which is something introvert really do not like. The reason for this is because of the lack of communication skills. Imagine a person being angry and starts shouting at you demanding things right now – and being an introvert needing time to look for words dealing with a person who simply spits out words – not a match there. So it’s easier to avoid conflict than deal with it.

The problem with that is when something is bothering you about a person, or you see something that might support another you will not speak up and instead keep it to yourself, because you fear dealing with the conflict. How can you effectively support a person if you are afraid to speak up?

To sum it all up – The main point here for me is that I never developed effective communication, because when I was younger I created a resistance towards it and so adapted myself to live with this inability to communicate properly and even created a whole personality from it just so that I do not have to face the resistance. So within all of this I actually created the introvert inside me. I wonder how different my life would have been if I chose to face the point and practiced communication to not be an introvert – but then I would not have developed all the other skills I have now.

I cannot change the past, but I can change my future. I Keep the gifts of being an introvert and start starting working on the downfalls and other points where I have difficulty like practicing communication.

Thanks for reading – and to the introverts reading this: There is nothing wrong with you, but being an introvert has its limitations. You do have the power to stop and move past the

A point of Regret - A Practical Solution

 

Problem:

To regret is wanting to re-get, meaning we want to get the moment again and make a different choice and change the outcome into something we do not regret. Today I am looking at regret.

Regret is like a broken record - the memory of the event/situation you regret plays over and over in your head and this activates that heavy feeling and we live with it for the rest of our lives - haunted by a memory. The first thing to notice here is that it starts with a thought - that thought brings up a memory and that memory brings up an emotion. A vicious repetitive pattern that plays over and over. 

Today I was look at my experience of myself and what came up was regret. Looking at back at my life and all the time I had and what I did with it. I could have done more, I should have done more, I would have done more. Could have, should have, would have - these are the the prominent backchat that usually comes with regret.  What is not realized is that regret is pointless - It does not contribute to anything. It is mulling over the past, but you cannot change the past. If I went back to that same moment - I will do exactly the thing, because who I am has not changed - If I could have done something different I would have, but I did not not. The point of regret is not to go into an emotional experience within yourself, it is to learn and develop yourself.

Solution:

Regret is when you see what not to do. It is an opportunity to develop yourself and learn to become  more effective by never repeating the mistake that was made. It is then to change yourself now so that when you RE get that moment - when that moment/point comes up again in the future - you will make a decision/take an action that you will not regret.

Reward:

Defining and living regret as it is written in above transforms regret from something that brings you down and controls your life to something you direct. To no longer dwell on the past and be controlled and directed by it, but instead you direct your life. within this you have the opportunity to expand yourself and develop your effectiveness as a living human being.

Join us at Desteni and learn what it is to become an effective living human being where you take control of your life and become the directive principle within it  

Purification of Time

 

The Sun - a great fusion reactor, ball of fire. The light hits the earth providing energy for nature, for the whole earth. And so with the rotation of earth and the light from the sun we have a measurable, mathematical, indefinite continued progress of existence and events  - or in simpler terms, Time.Time has become an integral part of our lives, with our lives/living that rotates around time. We live according to time, we work according to time and we sleep according to time. We plan our day according to time - something we created and placed importance in.

Time for me also plays a role in my life. I have schedules and appointments and other considerations that revolves around time. It is a way to organize my life.When I was  In School and when in class - there was too much of it (time) and after school for the day there was not enough Time. On the farm There never seems to be enough of it and I have had reactions regarding time.

With so many things to do, it seems like there is never enough time to get to it all. This would cause a state of anxiety within myself and also made me irritable at times. I was frustrated, because I could not get to everything since there was not enough time during the day to get to it all. When I looked at the time I would feel different depending on what time it is. In the morning it is fine, in the afternoon I see my time is getting less, which causes anxiety and frustration at times and by night time its like ''shit, the day is almost over and I did not get to do all the things I wanted, dammit!''.

So within this Time, decides who I am and what I do and how I feel, but time does not really exist - its simply nature moving that we equated and allowed to direct who we are. I am the one creating the energetic experience in regards to time in my Mind. I am the one creating the feelings and reactions and beliefs in regards to time making it more than what it is.

I forgive myself that I ha ve accepted and allowed myself to get anxious when I see time goes by, fearing I would not get enough time for finish my tasks for the day

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel different depending on what time it is and within that, change who I am depending on what time it is - allowing time to decide who I am, not realizing that I am not the directive principle of who I am within the tasks that I do with accepting and allowing my reactive relationship to time in the mind to dominate/direct me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have thoughts and backchat in relation to Time where I would react and allow the thoughts and backchat to generate feelings and emotions like frustration and anger, because there is so much to do and not enough time. Not seeing, realizing and understanding how I would within this – actually then create a whole personality-relationship to time in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in my frustration of never getting to everything and not having enough time, to become irritable and act out my irritation on others around me. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see time as something more than me, something that directs me and something that I should follow and allow to dictate my life - not realizing that Time is simply nature moving, a point of universal reference within which to practically categorize/organize responsibilities according to minutes/hours/days/weeks/months/years etc.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that although time is a part of our life - it should not be something that directs me and changes who I am.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to remain stable and consistent no matter what time it is - within this realize that if I do my best and all that I am able to with the time I have then there is no point to worry about Time since I cannot make Time stop or squeeze out more time from somewhere and/or timetravel.

I commit myself to stop going into anxiety and fear when I look at the time, instead I breathe and stop the thoughts of ''there is not enough time'' and stop worrying about it - realizing that if I do my best with the time I have its impossible to do more.

I commit myself to stop getting frustrated and angry when I see I did not get to everything this day - instead I realize that there is in fact another day tomorrow and the day after that to do what I need to do

I commit myself to stop allowing Time to dictate and decide who I am, instead I remain stable no matter what the time is

I commit myself to realize that time is a reference point that is here that I can use to organize my life effectively and not something to react to.

I commit myself to stop the fear that time is running out - instead I realize that although Time is going by it is nothing to fear and rather to do the best I can with the time I have here on earth

Journey to Life Day 29 - Past Memories

 

 

When I was a kid my parents took us to see large machines shaped like dinosaurs. I really like dinosaurs so I really wanted to go and I remember the tickets were not cheap. But when we went in the dinosaurs were really big and scary and load. I got so scared that I started to cry and scream and wanted out and so we all had leave. When we got outside I regretted it because my parents got the ticket so that I can see the show but then it was just a waste of money.

And to this day that memory still pops up and I still feel the regret

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get a fright when I hear loud noises

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that loud noises can hurt me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to link loud noises with my parent yelling at me and in that believe that loud noises mean angriness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my parents were disappointed at me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let money direct me and make me feel regret for wasting their money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have wasted their money - realizing that its my projected believe and how i perceived the situation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold to this memory and reliving the regret instead of never let go of this memory

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by this memory in trying to live my life in such a way that I never experiences regret and in that live not really living

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to based in this experience fear regret and not allowing myself to live life

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to direct myself in clearing myself from this experience so that I can live my life self directed instead of being directed and haunted by the past

I commit myself to stop fearing loud noises and not to associate loud noises to conflict

I commit to stop being disappointed in myself by doing what i am able to do to the best of my ability

I commit myself to stop regret - I cannot change the past and if i would have done things differently I would have sp there no point in regretting

I commit myself to learn from the experiences to see what I can do to change the point so that I don't have the same experience

I commit myself to  stop allowing myself to be directed by the past and to let go of the past so that I life self directed 

I commit myself stop projecting myself unto others and to stop assuming the worst.

I commit myself to see the importance of letting go of the past - because who i am today is because of the past and if I don't let go  i can never be self directed but will always be directed by the past.