Day 298 - What Does your Label Say about Humanities Future?

 

What is it that defines who we are?

Name?

Clothing?

Beliefs?

Country?

When you look at someone what label do you define them as? Do you judge someone based on how they look or your perception of them? Or do see another as who they truly are? We label and judge ourselves and others.

We have created categories within ourselves where we can place the various labels of others and ourselves. The truth is that we cannot know who a person is until you actually take the time to know them. A simple example would be stereotypes – Many people look at Muslims and label them terrorist. Look at foreigners and label them Immigrants in a hateful way. And the problems that grow from identifying people based on our own misconceptions are creating so much suffering.

We label ourselves as superior, as more than others. We see ourselves as more important than other people. We look at nature and see ourselves the dominant species that has right to do with it as we please. Simply look at what this identity is doing to the earth.

So what is the Solution? How can we identify ourselves as equals? What will it take for us to stop labeling each other and other beings? It’s in the realization that firstly our labeling is born from misconception – how we judge others is not real. The person standing next to you IS you, there is nothing that makes that other person more than you or less than you. There is nothing that makes you better than that person or more deserving than another. It is recognizing that every person in this world – we are all equal.

Within realizing this it becomes common sense to give to another what you would like to receive. If you were that person how would you liked to be treated? To be labeled? To be judged? No.

It’s time we stop identifying ourselves as living in separate realities and to realize that we are all on the same boat.

Day 252 - Why so Stubborn?

Stubborn word Definition:

Having or showing dogged determination not to change one's attitude or position on something, especially in spite of good reasons to do so.
 
Have you ever had these moments in life where you dealt with people being absolutely stubborn in every sense of the word? And try as you might, no matter what you said or to show the person did not want to see what you were saying despite the facts clearly being there. I had a few of those, dealing with very stubborn people. And I could not understand why.

Have you ever had these moments in life where you had to deal with a person who insisted with absolute certainty that you said something, but you were sure you did not? And despite the fact that the person had clear evidence you refused to acknowledge that you did say it. Then afterwards you remembered you did in fact say it… I had a few of those as well.

So here are two events showing the same thing from the stubborn person and the other pointing thing out. The problem with Stubborn is that you refuse to listen to anything the other person shows you and believe you are the only person that is right in that particular moment no matter what the person says or shows. It’s an “I am right, you are wrong” thing.

When do you know when you are being stubborn? It starts with a reaction to what the other person said or showed; it’s like taking it personally and then you immediately go into a defensive position. So now you have this irritation and frustration building inside yourself and the only to defend yourself is to not believe a word the other person is saying and stick to you being right no matter what.

Now there is another dimension – being stubborn with yourself. Sounds silly but we all have these inner wars where we see a point within ourselves that needs to change, but then we go into being stubbornness and hold to that point, refusing to let it go or consider other options


When you do find yourself in this position the best thing you can do for yourself is to stop it. Stop and consider for a moment that the other person is trying to assist you and that what they are saying might actually be right. Look at the information without judgment and without taking it personally to access if what is being said is true or not. If you stick to being Stubborn then nothing is going to change. All you are doing harming the relationship you have with the other person and giving up an opportunity to better yourself.

So Next time ask yourself – Why so Stubborn? What’s the point? Is it is really worth it?
Now there is another dimension – being stubborn with yourself.

A Musician I am

 

Continuing from my previous blog - read here for context. 

In my previous blog what has been revealed was my starting point for being a musician and how I never really did it for myself; but rather to please others, fit in and be appreciated. This shows that I did not appreciate or value myself and searched for it in others. Within this I depended on other’s reactions and defined myself according to it.

The hours upon hours that goes into music creation started to become an effort for me and so the reason why it started to become not worth it for me. We would put so much into a song, but when it is released it does not get a lot of attention. As read above I have defined myself according to other people’s reactions/appreciation and thus in this situation I did not get the attention I wanted from others and then linked that to "making music is not worth it" and useless. Whereas if I make music as a self expression then it would not matter what the reaction is of others towards it.

It is interesting how points come together - In previous posts I wrote about "Doing it for myself", Self value and self worth. This is what has been missing - Self/Me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to write/play music from the starting point to want others to appreciate me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in my belief that music is an effort - to stop playing instruments altogether, because I believed there is no point to it and a waste of time .

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see creating music as being an effort based on the amount of time that goes into it and the reaction I get from others and thus to see it as not worth it.

I forgive myself that have not accepted and allowed myself to realize the the reason I was looking for appreciation from others was because I did not appreciate or value myself, and thus was looking for it in others instead of giving it to myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to other people’s reactions.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to create music as a self-expression, as who I am, and to do it for myself - within this the only defining point is myself and not based on other people.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to play music simply as an enjoyment - to sit and play for  myself.

I commit myself to stop writing/playing music for only other people - instead I change my starting point to do it for myself as well as a self expression

I commit myself to stop the idea and belief I created that making music is an effort and not worth it based on the reaction I get from others and within this I commit myself to stop defining myself according to other people’s reactions and to instead be self directed

I commit myself to stop looking for value and appreciation from others - instead I gift it to myself

Day 92 - Supporting Self

 

I did some introspection today and had a look at who I am and what I do. And what came up is support. If I look at this I see that i am effective in supporting the farm for example working outside and learning how to do things.

I have been able to support others in learning the things I have learned. But when I look at how I support myself - I simply do not. I support others, but I do not support myself. I see others as being more important than I am and I would always place others needs above my own.

Now i have to ask why am I doing this? Why do I see myself as less than others? Why do i se them as being worth more than i am. Its because i see myself as being less important. I believe myself to be unworthy.

In my previous posts I explained the point of working through understanding. I do work around the farm, because i understand the need for the particular task that im doing. For example planting a fruit tree - so that we can have our own fruit in the future. Even mundane things like pulling weeds for the day - to make sure that the grass or vegetables or fruit trees can grow effectively. I support others with what i learned so that they also have the know how and be educated. I understand the importance of it.

This is where my problem is - that I do not se the importance of supporting myself. Id rather support other people. I do support myself to some extend but not in the same capacity that i do with outside work where I go for being most effective in what i do. When it comes to supporting myself I always do it half assed or not at all.

Back when I was in high school and i got sick - I got very sick. I remember I went on holiday visiting old friends i got very sick. I still continued partying and smoking - i eventually got to the doctor who said i had bronchitis and a throat  infection. I still continues partying and smoking and even swimming in the Atlantic ocean(very cold). Every time i got sick i never showed it - only when i am so sick that i cannot walk and am in too much pain will I stay in bed. An example of how I do not care about myself. Did not support myself.

And this behavior is from when my mother died - that really did a number on me and here is another point that still dictated my life. When she died I made allot of choices subconsciously - including that i am not worthy or important and i do not care about myself. 

Self support - I will continue this tomorrow. Its important 

Journey to life day 21 - I am not Worthy of Life

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as not worthy

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to through years of backchat created an self image of me being inferior to others and took this as my self religion and believed it is who i am

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to though this belief always place myself second and placing everyone else first - compromising myself to keep others happy because i dont deserve to be joy

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see myself and who i am as ugliness and dark based on my thoughts feelings and emotions - not realizing that i am not my thoughts feeling or emotions.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as a failure - because i am unable to move faster in changing myself to become an effective human being standing for the end of all abuse

I forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed myself to see the progress and actions and abilities i have devolved and to see that as not enough

I forgive myself that i have mot accepted and allowed myself to give myself worth

I commit myself to stop seeing myself as not worthy

I commit myself to give myself worth

I commit myself to see that this process will take time

I commit myself to give myself credit for what i have done so far will help from others.