Day 97 - Taking things Personally

 

You know - when someone someone comments on something about yourself and then you take it personally, blaming that person for your reactions to the words.

And when someone snaps at you and you react and take it personally by becoming angry as if someone did  wrong by you.

It is a belief that its the other person that has done something to you by snapping at you and calling names where you take it personally. But that is not true...

If I react in anger when someone tells me i am an idiot then it is I who reacts. The other person does not have special powers that control what i feel. I created the angler all by myself that I feel within myself. Therefor i cannot blame the other person for what i have created, because if when i take something personally then I myself take it personally

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to take things personally

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a character of taking the words/expression of another personally, where I will literally take what another says or does, out of context of the moment here and interpret it according to myself as a personality, based on memories and experiences of myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself  to when im in situations of conflict to believe that I am being attacked and thus take it personally and feel the need to defend myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the other person controls how I feel and that they are to blame for the reactions I feel within myself.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself myself to realize that i an the one who chose to take it personally and that i created the feelings and emotions and reactions and thus cannot blame the other person

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself myself to give the other person power over me and to make them as being authority when i react and take offence to what they say, not realizing that i created all of this

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to be the directive principle in my life where i am not directed by others and where i stand strong in each moment here where i decide what moves within me

I commit myself to stop taking things personally

I commit myself to be the directive principle and stand as stability here in every moment

I commit myself to realize that I create the reaction and that choose to take things personally so I choose not to react

I commit myself to stop blaming the other person and believing he is attacking me and thus I need to defend myself, instead i simply don't throw the ball back and not participate in the game of anger and conflict and insults and gossip

I commit myself to stop giving my power away by giving in ad reacting and take things personally, instead i stop and realize that i am the one who creates how i feel and who i am in situations.

Moving the Stone from the Path - Would you?

 

When you walk on a road and hurt you foot by accidentally stepping on a stone/falling over a branch will you cry out in pain and anger - blaming the stone/branch for being in your way - or will you move out of the path to make sure nobody else gets hurt?

Its the same if you have a good life with no problems - wouldn't you want the same for others? or rather let them struggle and not find find ways to make the world a better place.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider others and only act in self interest

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only look out for myself and never try to make life easier for others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not move the rock from the road to same sure nobody else gets hurt by it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that this world is a dog eat dog place and that there is nothing i can do to change it and that its just the way it is

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that saying that the world is every man for himself is me using it as an excuse and justification for not taking responsibility and assist and support others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to never put myself is the shoes of others and using the excuse and justification that it is not my responsibility an that they must find their own way to help themselves

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that the only reason i can have a good life is because i have money - and that those without money have no change in this life to make it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that they do not have money, because they are lazy and don't get jobs - not realizing that there are 7 billion humans on earth and thus there is no way for all 7 billion to have jobs and money in this current accepted world

I commit myself to move the rock from the path/consider others

I commit myself to to not act in self interest, but to instead do what is best for all

I commit myself to stop the believe that this life is every man for himself and not accept this

find ways for all beings in earth to have a dignified life

I commit myself to stop using justifications and excuses like its not my responsibility, but to instead take self responsibility and make this world a world worth living

I commit myself to realize that it could have been me in that situation of suffering and poor and that no being should need to suffer and that we created this world and all its suffering and thus i commit myself to stop it

I commit myself to create a world where all beings can live a good  meaningful life without fear

Day 95 -Escapism and Game Addiction

 

Years ago I was heavily addicted to this one game. It completely took over my life. I liked it so much that i would go to bed late and wake up about 2 hours before I go to work just to pay the game. I was in a relationship that time and i spent so much time playing that game that i basically ignored the relationship which pretty much ended because of it.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to a game

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to in this addiction completely ignore the real world around me just so that i can have more time to feed my addiction

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become selfish in my need to 'get a fix' by doing what I can to make more time to play the game to satisfy myself and compromise others

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give into this addiction and control my life where all i can think of is playing the game.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to feeling powerful as my game character levels up and keep playing the game to feel more powerful

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to the feeling of accomplishment when I reach my goal in the game - not realizing that I feel as if I accomplish nothing in life and the game makes me feel better so I play it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the game as an escape from reality and as an distraction, because games are fun and easy - not realizing that I am running away from reality and not wanting to face life

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is the game that makes me feel powerful, not realizing that i am the one creating the feeling  within myself.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that addiction is something that happened to me - its caused by the game as if the game has power over me - not realizing that i created that addiction and I allowed myself to become addicted.

I commit myself to stop addiction by realizing that I created the addiction and that i have the power to stop it by choosing to stop it

I commit myself to realize that I ignored the world around me and escaped from it by playing games, because games are easier and fun whereas life is difficult - and that i cannot ignore the world around me. Instead I commit myself to make the world a better place

I commit myself to stop believing the power and accomplishment i feel when playing games to be real - and to realize that real power comes from changing within to become an effective being that is the directive principle in my life

I commit myself to stop all addictions as being addicted is me giving my power away and becoming depended on something outside myself

I commit myself to not become the picture below...

Holocaust Victims - Caused By Law Of Attraction?

 

This is a response to Abraham hicks - The Missing piece

In this video a guy is asking questions about the world and the suffering where Abraham hicks answers. She basically is a believer in the Law of attraction where all humans actually attract their own suffering.

What really alarmed me was when the guy asked about the Holocaust  where millions were killed and went through unimaginable suffering in which Abraham hicks generally avoided the question. She said that if each inner vibration is happy and joyful you will attract it and if you are miserable and paying attention to the suffering in this world then you will attract misery.

So what Abraham hicks is saying that the Jew Holocaust victims in a sense chose to be placed in gas chambers and the suffering they went through, because their inner experience didn't vibrate goodness and joy.

In this then what Abraham hicks is basically saying is that if a 5 year old girl gets kidnapped and raped its because she attracted it? Really? Also she said that you should not feel the pain others are feeling, because they are actually ok - they are coping with starving, raping, genocide so your pain is actually worse than theirs. Abraham hicks have no idea what it feels like being forced to kill your own mother and then forced to join in the children army where its kill or get killed. People like to believe that you should not feel pain for others and that they do not really feel so much pain, because it gives people an excuse not to actually do something about it. Its VERY easy to ignore something. All very CONvenient for the LOA people.

Its like a fire - there is a fire busy burning down your room - its a bad fire - so you choose to ignore it. The fire will not stop just because your not thinking about it, its going to burn down your house. Just like suffering in this world - if you keep on ignoring it it will simply continue!!!

The guy in answering the questions was right to question and had very practical valid points. Unfortunately Abraham hicks is very clever in avoiding and side stepping such questions. The Guy wanted answers to this world - he saw that LOA is not a solution to this world.

This is how LOA it works - always look at the behavior of what you are doing to see if it has an impact and always cross reference with the world:

You think happy thoughts, ignore bad ones and suffering - basically ignore the world. Make sure you feel happy so that you vibrate happiness and joy within yourself. Then your world becomes a happy place. YOUR world becomes a happy place. YOUR WOLRD ALONE!

Obviously if you ignore and suppress the real world everything will seem fine. The proof that LOA is not a world solution is right there on the news. The problems in the world are escalating, because nothing is being done. Its gets ignored by most people who believe they can change the world by feeling good. It does nothing. Look around you.

The world is in shit, because of those who were her before us. Because of us here now accepting the choices made by those who had the power to create the world system as it exist today. That we need money to survive - that a piece of paper, a number in a system has power over life and death. Without money you die - with money you live.

This is unacceptable - you will only change your perspective of YOUR own bubble you call your world with LOA, but The problems in this world sill still exist. You don't end starvation with feeling good - you end it with food.

Stop doing nothing and make permanent solutions to the world and all its suffering and abuse a reality - practical REAL solutions!!! Go to the Equal MONOEY website and join in on the creation of a new world like it should be. Be part of the change and give your ideas on solutions to the worlds problems and share it others.

Day 93 - Self Support, Worthiness, Life

 

We create our life from the choices we make. Obviously you need money to able to live to be able to make choices.

In my previous blog I wrote about how I do not support myself - where i would rather help others. But what i have noticed is that I do support myself by supporting others - in supporting others you learn allot about yourself and who you are. But I always see others as more than i am.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to when my mother died make the choice to see life as pointless and in this not worth the pain that comes with it and thus see myself as worthless and my life pointless

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find meaning in life by assisting and supporting them so that they do not go through the pain I felt and completely ignoring myself

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to in fear of loosing people to assist and support them so that I do not leave me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as unworthy and thus not worth supporting myself

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see other people as more than i am and that they need saving and thus create the savior character to help them with their problems

I forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that me helping others was my attempt to help myself, because i could se myself in others and thus i was not doing it got them but for me.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see others as superior to me - because I believe I am unworthy

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to secretly want others to help me, because I believe that i cannot help myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame life for me being depressed and seeing myself as undeserving, inferior and unworthy - believing it to be a consequence from when my mother died

I forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I was seeing MYSELF as being unworthy, I believed are more than ME, that i created this experience and belief by choosing it.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I do no harm and that it is fine to just not support myself in becoming an effective human - not realizing that I can only support people to a point - and if i want to be effective i will first have to support myself and dedicate myself so that i will be able to support and assist people more effectively and thus teaching them how to support themselves and start creating a pattern - its starts with me. By not doing this i deny others a chance to see 

I commit myself to realize that we as humans have created a life that is actually pointless and that we have become unworthy of life by abusing life and causing suffering - and that we must undo this by making it a point in life to stop abusing life so that we may become beings of true worth.

I commit myself to stop using others as an excuse not to support and move myself by supporting and moving myself and to stop the fear of loss - death is part of life and there is no need to fear life

I commit myself to stop wanting other to support me when i am unwilling to so for myself - and to instead support myself

I commit myself to realize that I am the creator of my life and how i experience myself in situations and that I have the power to decide - nothing else is to blame for something I created

I commit myself to take self responsibility for myself by supporting myself and in that support others to do what is best for all and in that changing the world

Day 92 - Supporting Self

 

I did some introspection today and had a look at who I am and what I do. And what came up is support. If I look at this I see that i am effective in supporting the farm for example working outside and learning how to do things.

I have been able to support others in learning the things I have learned. But when I look at how I support myself - I simply do not. I support others, but I do not support myself. I see others as being more important than I am and I would always place others needs above my own.

Now i have to ask why am I doing this? Why do I see myself as less than others? Why do i se them as being worth more than i am. Its because i see myself as being less important. I believe myself to be unworthy.

In my previous posts I explained the point of working through understanding. I do work around the farm, because i understand the need for the particular task that im doing. For example planting a fruit tree - so that we can have our own fruit in the future. Even mundane things like pulling weeds for the day - to make sure that the grass or vegetables or fruit trees can grow effectively. I support others with what i learned so that they also have the know how and be educated. I understand the importance of it.

This is where my problem is - that I do not se the importance of supporting myself. Id rather support other people. I do support myself to some extend but not in the same capacity that i do with outside work where I go for being most effective in what i do. When it comes to supporting myself I always do it half assed or not at all.

Back when I was in high school and i got sick - I got very sick. I remember I went on holiday visiting old friends i got very sick. I still continued partying and smoking - i eventually got to the doctor who said i had bronchitis and a throat  infection. I still continues partying and smoking and even swimming in the Atlantic ocean(very cold). Every time i got sick i never showed it - only when i am so sick that i cannot walk and am in too much pain will I stay in bed. An example of how I do not care about myself. Did not support myself.

And this behavior is from when my mother died - that really did a number on me and here is another point that still dictated my life. When she died I made allot of choices subconsciously - including that i am not worthy or important and i do not care about myself. 

Self support - I will continue this tomorrow. Its important 

Day 91 - Fearing Others and hiding

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear  other people will hurt me

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to in this fear hide myself from others and withdraw and avoid meeting new people

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear other people seeing who i am and knowing me, because they might not like me and judge me

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear being exploited by other people where i will judge myself as being stupid

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear others taking advantage of me and being used

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear that if I share who i am that i will be vulnerable and thus weak

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see being vulnerable as being weak and that i must be a strong manly person by closing myself off as to protect myself

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to in this fear of others to become silent so that people cant have the chance to know me and thus cant hurt me

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to when i see all the bad things in this world where people kill,exploit, manipulate etc others to then close up and hide myself from others so that I can be protected

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that nobody can deceive, manipulate, exploit and take advantage of me unless i allow it - and that it is not something I should fear, but rather be aware of.

I forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that there is no need to protect myself or fear sharing myself to those who i trust and have proven that trust

I commit myself to stop fearing that others will hurt me and realize that there are people in this world who hurt others, but i cannot live my life in fear of this and being directed by it. Instead I am aware of this, but no longer allowing this fear to close me up

I commit myself to stop hiding myself form others and to stop fearing meeting new people, instead i embrace the opportunity to meet new people to asses my effectiveness

I commit myself to stop fearing being exploited and taken advantage of and to realize that this can only happen if i allow it and to instead become effective within myself so that i can see when someone want to exploit and take advantage of me and direct it accordingly

I commit myself to become vulnerable and to stop seeing it as being weak and to realize that I have created this believe that being vulnerable is weakness. Instead vulnerability is more like being open where I do not have anything to hide and no fear, because I am the directective  principle in my life 

I commit myself to Stop living the silent type character out of fear of others, but to instead express myself

I commit myself to stop the belief that I have to protect myself  and steel myself from everybody in order to keep me safe from them hurting me and to instead realize that if i hide myself from everybody then i will never change or become effective in this world

Day 90 - That's just not who I am. I'm born this way

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i was born this way and thus cannot change who i am

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i was always meant to be this way  - that i am a special person for being who i am

I forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that i was born with no language or opinions or likes and dislikes - that I was taught how to think and who i am is a direct result from by parents/environment

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that saying and believing that i am born the way i am i am using it as a way to  justify my actions and who i am so that i do not have to change who i am and what I do

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when someone reveals to me something about myself that is clearly not cool to then say that its just the way i am so deal with it - not realizing that its me not wanting to change who I am

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that who I am is special and unique and so I must uphold who I am not change a thing about myself - not realizing that I do this because I fear losing myself as being special

I forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that who i have the power to change who i am  - and that i have to change myself, because as I am now I am limited and acting in self interest only doing what I like and avoiding what i do not like and then in this i will never seek solutions to assist and support others and find way to end abuse in this world and it will stay the same

I forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that i was lucky to be born into a family that could support me - and could have just as easily have been born into a poor family in poverty.

I commit myself to stop the believe that i was born the way i am and that i cannot change

I commit myself to stop the believe that it was fate for me to be who I am and that I am special

I commit myself to realize that who i am is a direct result from by parents/environment and that is proof by the cow girl who believed herself to be a cow, because she was raised by cows.

I commit myself to realize that me saying that i am born the way i am is me justifying who i am and using it as an excuse not to change

I commit myself to stop the belief of fearing that i will lose myself and to not allow this fear to stop me from changing who i am

I commit myself to realize that i could have just as easily have been born into a poor family in poverty and thus i am not special but rather lucky

I commit myself to realize that i have the power to change myself - and to use this power and change myself so that I stop living as self interest and start doing what is best for all so that i can find solutions to end abuse and suffering in this world

I commit myself to find ways to make sure that living is not luck or a lottery if who will be lucky enough to be born into a rich family or unlucky to be born into poverty, but to rather have a world where you can be sure that there will be enough to live for the rest of my life - no mater where i am born

Day 89 - Self Doubt Character

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create the self doubt character

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use this character when i am faced with a new task that I have not done before

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as not good enough to do this task even before I attempt to do it - and to hen in this believe and judgement to then not do the task

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to give myself that chance to proof to myself if I am able to do a new task or not and to rather choose to give up than pushing though

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear making a mistake when doing a project that I have not done yet - and to first go into self doubt and worry, believing that I will screw it up.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to develop self trust within what I do

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that not knowing how to do a project is ok and that with proper research  I can teach myself the how to so there is no need for the automatic self doubt and fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i am not a confident person and that is how I am/my personality - not realizing that it is a limitation and an excuse for me not to become effective 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that each new point/task that I face is an opportunity for me to expand myself and to learn more about myself and to become more  effective 

I commit myself to stop the self doubt character and to realize that with proper research  I can teach myself the how to

I commit myself to stop using character when facing a new task

I commit myself to stop judging myself as not being good enough and to realize that it is a believe that i have created and is not real, because i determine how good/effective i am and can only do so once I actually do the project to the best of my ability and more.

I commit myself to give myself the change to proof to myself whether  or not I am able to do the task

I commit myself to stop fearing making mistakes and to realize that its through mistakes and learning from them where i become more effective

I commit myself to trust myself and not to give in to self doubt and give up

I commit myself to stop the belief that i am not a confident person and that is just who I am - and to realize that its an excuse and limitation and with self trust I can become confidence

I Commit myself to embrace new task and to see them as an opportunity for me to expand myself and to learn more about myself and to become more  effective 

Day 88 - Change with Desteni: Leadership through Self Trust

 

My last blog I wrote about how I have developed a from of self trust and became a person confident within certain tasks.

When working with something new where I have no idea what to do or how to do it I go into a point of doubt and uncertainty. Then there is a leaning curve with some mistakes maybe and eventually the task is complete. Then after completing this new thing I then know how to do it which makes it easier the next time. And then eventually it becomes natural and i am confident doing it and have self trust.

Living on a farm with other people is awesome  - so much you can learn about yourself and others. Who do you usually go to when you have a question on how to do something? The best person is somebody who already did it and thus knows how to. And have a look at how you listen to every detail when the person is telling/showing you ho to do this new task. You listen to the person and do what he is telling you so you can do the new task - Authority That is what happened to me. I did allot of tasks on the farm and went through the self doubt, struggle and eventually learned how to do certain tasks for example throwing cement. And thus I became confident and its that confidence and self trust that people see and then they listen. If There is a person who need to then throwing cement and do not know how they are going to ask me. and then after tine they will trust themselves and become confident.

When I say authority I do not mean without question or final say military style authority. Having True Authority is when you have absolute certainty and confidence - and then directing others through common sense and what is best for all. So Authority comes from doing something and understanding it and then directing others - and they will listen because of your self trust and confidence and when others see for themselves that what you showed them works and is true then they will trust you. 

And then with all of this you get leadership. Where others come to you for advice, because you have proven to them that you do indeed know what you are talking about. And then overtime they become leaders - and then they teach others to become leaders and so forth.

So this was my process so far regarding self trust. Before Desteni I was a a silent type go with the flow kind of guy full of self doubt and hopeless uncertainty. And now I am in a position of leadership and developed self trust and confidence and am still building this to become effective within everything do - thanks to Desteni

 

A typical example of how to throw cement...

Day 87 - Change with assistance from Desteni: Self Trust 3

 

This is a continuation of how I learnt to trust myself with help from Desteni. Part 2 is here.

 

With hands on earth work I learnt self trust and how to become confident within what I do. Today i will write about the inside process of change - for example working through emotions and feelings like depression, anxiety, fear etc.

Just like the physical work and a new project that i am doing - working through new points and changing myself i am faced with lots of fear and self doubt. Its a whole new point and i have no idea how to get past it. I do not know if i will be able to do it. I have no self trust within myself when facing this new project - these are the usual thoughts that come up when facing a new point.

As I mentioned in my previous post i am a 'go with the flow'' guy. I never questioned my feelings and emotions and why i like certain things or why i do certain things. For example i was depressed in school - and through all the pain and anger I never even considered that i created the depression and that i have the power to end it. Everything always happened to ME - where it should have been I always have choice within it - I create what happens inside of me.

So when it came to actually changing myself so that i can stop being angry at the world and blaming others - I had zero trust within myself. How could i have when i never proved to myself that I am able to let go and change? But that should not be a reason to not do it. Self trust must be built and be consistent and proven over and over.

This is taken from my previous blog:

'''And after many projects there is a patter forming - that no matter the project I was able to do it''

The same happens to working through anger, depression, jealousy, self judgement etc. After a while a pattern starts forming and i have realized a point of stability within myself. That all the points i have faced i was able to move past it. I realized that no matter what point i am faced with or going to face - i have the power to move past it. Self trust and confidence. There are still some points where i go ''O shit! what do i do''. And when something seems too big or i doubt myself I go to the point of stability - that i have the power, thanks to Desteni.

With self forgiveness, self honesty and self corrective application you are able to change any point within yourself ***.

You want real power - get the power of change. for more information go here now - www.desteni.org

Authority with self trust?! find out more in the next blog. Exclusively on this blog(and other sharing sites)

Day 86 - Change with assistance from Desteni: Self Trust

 

Yesterday i wrote about how I changed regarding work - see here for part 1

IM seeing myself now and then how was before Desteni and allot has changed within me - all for the better. Today i looked back and who I was and I was always the silent type who did not know the meaning of self trust and confidence.

I was a go with flow person - meaning I will never start and argument or disagree with something if it meant I will be challenged. So it was easier for me to not stand out too much. There were allot of other reasons why I was a silent type which i wont be covering in this particular post, I'm going to focus on how I changed from being completely without self trust and a silent push around guy to someone giving direction to others  and showing leadership skills with the help of Desteni tools.

The farm is such a awesome place - you'd never think that a piece of land can teach you so much - with effective guidance form others. So the first things you need to be able to exercise any from of leadership skills is self trust - without it you will never become directive. The problem i found with self trust is that before you can trust yourself you have to proof to yourself that you can indeed trust yourself.

For me it started with the physical farm work - I will be faced with a task that I have no idea how to do it - and because of that i will go into doubt and fear wondering if i will screw this project up. After some research and advice from those that do know we eventually got the job done. Lets say this project was laying a concrete floor slab. Now I can lay a concrete floor slab - I have proven to myself that i am able to do this and thus i can now trust that I can do this.

The same with building with bricks - when I first started i had no idea how to do this and i went into fear and doubt and allot of frustration. But when was done i could then trust myself that I am able to this and thus be confident within doing this. I have built self trust within myself.

And after many projects there is a patter forming - that no matter the project I was able to do it - and some i totally sucked at - but then i know what i am good at and what I am not good at. With simply working in the physical I have developed a point within myself that I did not have before. I also had the perfect environment with people who are dedicated to assist and support each other which made this process of self trust more effective and faster.

That is why it is so important to change our current world system that dictates our environment to a new system that supports everyone. Then we have an effective environment where people can learn to develop themselves> in todays world people do not have time to develop themselves - too busy making ends meet and In an Equal Money System that will no longer be a achievement or something to strife for. Everybody will have and thus will have time to learn about themselves.

 

More tomorrow

Day 85 - Change with assistance from Desteni (part 1)

 

Here i am going to write about one of the many ways i have changed with the assistance of the Desteni Tools.

Before i became a part of this group I was a ridiculously lazy person. In school I never really read books  so for my book reports I always used the same book - which i read when i was a child. I always finished homework the night before or the morning at school and sometimes i simply did not do it. The same with assignments: we get like a month to do it, but I did it the day before usually.

At home i did not really have any chores to do except take out the trash once a week and maintaining the pool - and I always had resistance towards doing it. And within everything i did i always did it to the bare minimum and quickest way to get it done so that I do not have to put much effort into it.

All this was about to change with the tools I learned from Desteniiprocess 

When we first got to the farm I faced this laziness head on - because living on a farm requires some hard work, but it actually started to become fun. It was enjoyable, because everything i did mattered. I could see the results and everything accumulating and where there was once a crappy rusted fence there was a new one and it will last for many years. Where there one was an open piece of land there is now an orchard bearing fruit. All that hard work - digging and planting trees - they were very tiny trees when i planted them and no they are big and fruit bearing trees.

The resistance i felt before regarding work went away, because I did not see it as work. It became something that needs to be done - I understand the need for it and so i do it.

This is a reason why people believe that an equal money system will never work, because people are lazy and would rather sit on a beach all day. But what people are doing now is slaving long hours doing mundane work where the actual job does not contribute to anything that maters and that is not necessary in terms of practicality, but they do it because they need money. And that brings resistance. That all will fall away, because we will be doing practical things that matter and contribute to the whole. And like i did we will come to understand the necessity  of what we will do - like producing food for everybody or cleaning the oceans.

 

If we all work through understanding we will have a better world. Vote here for a better world - www.equalmoney.org

Day 84 - Why Change is needed

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the world is ok as it is and does not need to be changed

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that the existence of war in this world and all the pain and suffering that goes with is enough reason for change to happen

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that the continuation of poverty and strife is enough reason for change

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that the existence of slavery in this world is enough reason to change this world

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that the existence of prostitution - the need to sell ones self to survive in this world - is enough reason for us to find solutions to end it so that it doesn't exist anymore

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that the existence of corruption and greed is enough reason to fins permanent solutions to end it

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that the exploitation of earth and its resources is enough reason why we must change our ways

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify all this pain and suffering by saying that there is also good and happiness in this world - not realizing that having money gives me the chance to be happy and that most people do not have money

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that the only reason why i would not want the world to change is because its working out for me - not realizing that billion others are struggling to live and that  millions starve in a world a plenty - there is enough food on the world to feed 13 billion people

I commit myself to realize that the world is not ok as it and that change is needed

I commit myself to realize war, poverty, slavery, prostitution, starvation etc. must end as it is causing great suffering and abuse and if I say that the world is ok as it is i am agreeing that suffering is ok

I commit myself to realize that if we keep on exploiting the earth and stripping it from resources it there will be none left - this is our only home and we must change our ways so that we can start to take care of earth and make sure it will be sustainable for all life in the future

I commit myself to realize that to change the world we need to change our ways - and to change our ways we must change ourselves - and that starts with me - by making the choice to not accept this world the way it is and to find permanent solutions to end all the abuse

I commit myself to realize that the current world system does not work for everybody and definitely not for nature and that we need a new world system where all beings are taken care of

Vote for change - www.equalmoney.org

Day 83 - Fearing making mistakes

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear making mistakes

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by this fear that it determines my life and the choices I make where I have no self direction

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when facing a new project to first go into fear of making a mistake and then go into resistance and not wanting to do the project

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when people ask me for assistance to go into fear, because I fear making a mistake and not being able to assist them

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in this fear of making mistake to avoid assist people so that I can all together avoid making a mistake

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being dependable when not being able to assist someone if I make a mistake

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that i will make mistakes and there is no avoiding it and thus no point to fear it

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to when i make a mistake to judge myself as not being good enough and go into a state of being angry at myself and to see myself as useless

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that it is through learning about mu mistakes that I become more effective  and i keep on avoiding them them i will not progress

I commit myself to stop fearing making mistakes

I commit myself stop allowing to be directed by this fear of making mistakes that I will avoid situations where I will make mistakes

I commit myself to when facing a new project to not allow the fear of making mistakes, but to instead do it anyway

I commit myself to when someone asks me for assistance to not allow the fear of making mistakes to keep me from doing by best to assist them - and if i do make a mistake to not see myself as being undependable

I commit myself to when I make mistakes to not judge myself as being useless and not get angry at myself - instead i realize that mistake and leant from it so that i do not make the same mistake twice

I commit myself to realize that if I avoid mistakes I will not learn anything and stay stuck and never become more effective - so mistakes are cool - as long as i learn from them

Day 82 - Fear of Authority

 

Today's authority im looking at police. I fear the police. There has been many stories of crooked cops and corruption and wrongful arrests. When i drive around town and se a cop car i react with fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the police 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when i am driving and see a cop car to react in fear - because I fear I am doing something wrong and they might arrest me even though i am not doing anything wrong

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being wrongfully arrested and taken to prison where I will stay and rot for something I did not do

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that a corrupted cop will arrest me or that a ineffective cop will accidentally shoot me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear authority and to see authority as something final and powerful where I do not have any power

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to read a story of how trigger happy cops shoot on site and do not follow protocol and then try to cover it up and then fear that happening to me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I see the police to bring up all these fears at once and then go into a state of fear and powerlessness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to link the word authority to the feeling of powerless and fear - and when there are people in my life that I deem as being authority I then activate the feeling of being powerless and going into a state of fear

I commit myself to stop my fear of the police

I commit myself to when i see a police car when driving to not react in fear of being arrested of doing something wrong - and to realize that I am not doing anything illegal and thus will not be arrested

I commit myself to stop the fear of being wrongfully arrested and rotting in jail due to corrupted cops or being accidentally  shot by ineffective police

I commit myself to stop fearing  authority and to stop seeing it as having power over me and to believe that I am powerless in the face of authority

I commit myself to stop the fear of being the victim of a cover-up shooting by corrupted cops

I commit myself to realize that i have been taught to fear authority from when i was a kid - I was told to fear god so that I can behave - i was told to fear the principle in school because he has the power to expel me - I was told to respect the authority because if i do not then my will be hell - in other words I must fear the authority. So now i stop this belief and the fear i have of authority

I commit myself to realize that behaving because i fear the consequences does not make me a good person but it makes me deceitful - i do for another what id like to be done for me

I commit myself to no more link authority with fear and feeling powerless - but to instead live my life being consistent  in every situation  and fear authority is useless and only affects me