Day 119 - Gluten Free frustrations and Addictions

 

Here is my previous blog on Day 1 Gluten Free : Day 1. Here now follows day 2

This is now my second day without gluten - have not notices any changes physically yet, but it is to soon to tell. I did however notice a ridiculous craving to eat allot of food. Its like I just want to eat and eat like an addiction and I end up eating more than I should, because I mistake hunger for crave and then i believe myself to be hungry all the time

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be sad that i wont be able to eat the food i like anymore

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be frustrated that it is now more difficult to make myself food and the convenience is gone

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be angry at myself that i have created this situation for myself

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to blame myself for putting myself in this position

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to to eat more food now to fill the gap and make myself happy, because Im sad that i cant eat my favorite foods anymore

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create this deep craving within myself and believe that it is hunger and then eat more food

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be addicted to the food i eat where if i go without it I go through a withdrawal

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have thoughts of '' just one more piece of bread - will do no harm'' that makes my cravings bigger and then I eat more other foods.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to when i could still eat what i liked without consequence to take it for granted

I commit myself to to sop the sadness - instead I am grateful that I have food to eat

I commit myself to stop being frustrated - instead i see that being frustrated wont change a thing

I commit myself to stop blaming myself and be angry at myself - instead i breath and realize that being angry and blaming myself gets me nowhere

I commit myself to  stop eating more than i should  - instead I eat enough

I commit myself to stop trying to find loop holes and excuses for me to stop this gluten free things - instead I commit to my commitment

I commit myself to realize that I am not in fact hungry all the time, but that it is the caving and addiction to food

I commit myself to stop the ridiculous craving - instead i breath and do not allow it to affect me.

 

Lets see how tomorrow goes. If you are a first time reader and have no idea what's going on i am getting rid of my limitations to realize my full potential and effectiveness.

Here is a free guide:  http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

Day 118 - I like Food - allot

 

I like eating food. Good tasty food. Some of the food I like eating is the following:

• Fresh bread
• Weet-bix
• pancakes
• flapjacks
• Fresh bread
• cornflakes
• Fresh bread
• Fresh bread
• Fresh bread
• Fresh bread
• Fresh bread

I do like Fresh bread. One of my favorite things to eat is fresh fresh bread just out the oven with butter - mmm. The reason im listing these foods is because Since today I stopped eating wheat foods, more specifically gluten related foods. And most the foods I like have gluten. The reason I stopped eating Gluten is part of an on going test to see what physical reaction is causing my stomach problems - im looking for the physical manifestation of my anxiety that i created.

Since I stopped eating gluten I have become very frustrated, irritated...and I little depressed. What I have noticed is that I have become sad, because food made me happy - tasty food makes me feel good and now it takes longer to make myself food.

It is interesting that now going gluten-free it takes more time to make myself food. I usually for lunch go for what is quick and easy - bread or whatever - because i dont spend too much time making it and eating it. But now I have no choice but to prepare and plan what i eat.

This is why I am frustrated and irritated - it is now more of an effort to eat and i do not like not being able to eat certain foods.

Thank you for reading - an update on this tomorrow to assist myself to not me depressed, irritated and frustrated and angry .

Day 95 -Escapism and Game Addiction

 

Years ago I was heavily addicted to this one game. It completely took over my life. I liked it so much that i would go to bed late and wake up about 2 hours before I go to work just to pay the game. I was in a relationship that time and i spent so much time playing that game that i basically ignored the relationship which pretty much ended because of it.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to a game

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to in this addiction completely ignore the real world around me just so that i can have more time to feed my addiction

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become selfish in my need to 'get a fix' by doing what I can to make more time to play the game to satisfy myself and compromise others

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give into this addiction and control my life where all i can think of is playing the game.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to feeling powerful as my game character levels up and keep playing the game to feel more powerful

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to the feeling of accomplishment when I reach my goal in the game - not realizing that I feel as if I accomplish nothing in life and the game makes me feel better so I play it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the game as an escape from reality and as an distraction, because games are fun and easy - not realizing that I am running away from reality and not wanting to face life

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is the game that makes me feel powerful, not realizing that i am the one creating the feeling  within myself.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that addiction is something that happened to me - its caused by the game as if the game has power over me - not realizing that i created that addiction and I allowed myself to become addicted.

I commit myself to stop addiction by realizing that I created the addiction and that i have the power to stop it by choosing to stop it

I commit myself to realize that I ignored the world around me and escaped from it by playing games, because games are easier and fun whereas life is difficult - and that i cannot ignore the world around me. Instead I commit myself to make the world a better place

I commit myself to stop believing the power and accomplishment i feel when playing games to be real - and to realize that real power comes from changing within to become an effective being that is the directive principle in my life

I commit myself to stop all addictions as being addicted is me giving my power away and becoming depended on something outside myself

I commit myself to not become the picture below...

Day 59 - The 'I Give Up' Character

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create the I give up character

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when trying for a while to do something to then give up, because I believe I cannot do it

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that trying for a while and to see it as too long is a belief I created based on my expectations

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to give up when something becomes too difficult and it seems I'm not getting anywhere

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to give up because it is easier to give up than pushing and pulling through

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that if i see something as difficult it is based on my own beliefs and ideas i created through my experiences in the past and that something is only as difficult as i make it out to be

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that i create the point of giving up and that it is not because of something that is happening to me, but it is a choice i made to give up on myself and what i am doing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use giving up as an excuse to pursue my dreams, because if i give up on this difficult process I can leave it all behind and do all the things i always wanted to do and live a life based on self interest like the rest of the world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to generate a feel good feeling whe n thinking of giving up as a further support in my decision to give up and to justify giving up and pursue my dreams - not realizing that i create this feel good feeling so that I can feel as if my decision to give up is the right one

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that if i do give up all im doing which is dedicating my life so that i can assist in the creation of a world where all are free - then i give permission for this world of abuse and suffering to continue and in that allow it to exist and in that actually create the abuse and suffering in this world

I commit myself to delete the I give up character

I commit myself to keep on doing when I've been at a particular task for long and to do it to the best of my ability so that i can be sure if im able to do something or not

I commit myself to delete all my expectations of how long something should take and to realize that my mind cannot predict actual space-time of this physical reality and points emerge that could not be predicted and sometimes something takes longer

I commit myself to keep on pushing through when something gets too difficult and to realize that i created the idea of something being difficult

I commit myself to realize that easy and difficult is irrelevant - its about what needs to be done and doing it no matter what

I commit myself to realize that i created the point of giving up

I commit myself to realize that me wanting to give up is an excuse to leave what im doing to pursue my dreams 

I commit myself to stop the feel good feeling when thinking of giving up and to realize that it is me reinforcing my decision to give up and to make the choice an easy one and to see it as the 'right 'choice and to justify me giving up

I commit myself to realize the importance of what i am doing and the responsibility i took on when i made the choice to stand for and as life - and to realize the consequences of giving up on what i am doing which is simple: the suffering and abuse in this world will continue if nobody stops it