Day 299 - You dont really care about your pets untill you know this:

What does it mean to actually care for an animal? What is involved exactly?

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Day 118 - I like Food - allot

 

I like eating food. Good tasty food. Some of the food I like eating is the following:

• Fresh bread
• Weet-bix
• pancakes
• flapjacks
• Fresh bread
• cornflakes
• Fresh bread
• Fresh bread
• Fresh bread
• Fresh bread
• Fresh bread

I do like Fresh bread. One of my favorite things to eat is fresh fresh bread just out the oven with butter - mmm. The reason im listing these foods is because Since today I stopped eating wheat foods, more specifically gluten related foods. And most the foods I like have gluten. The reason I stopped eating Gluten is part of an on going test to see what physical reaction is causing my stomach problems - im looking for the physical manifestation of my anxiety that i created.

Since I stopped eating gluten I have become very frustrated, irritated...and I little depressed. What I have noticed is that I have become sad, because food made me happy - tasty food makes me feel good and now it takes longer to make myself food.

It is interesting that now going gluten-free it takes more time to make myself food. I usually for lunch go for what is quick and easy - bread or whatever - because i dont spend too much time making it and eating it. But now I have no choice but to prepare and plan what i eat.

This is why I am frustrated and irritated - it is now more of an effort to eat and i do not like not being able to eat certain foods.

Thank you for reading - an update on this tomorrow to assist myself to not me depressed, irritated and frustrated and angry .

Day 95 -Escapism and Game Addiction

 

Years ago I was heavily addicted to this one game. It completely took over my life. I liked it so much that i would go to bed late and wake up about 2 hours before I go to work just to pay the game. I was in a relationship that time and i spent so much time playing that game that i basically ignored the relationship which pretty much ended because of it.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to a game

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to in this addiction completely ignore the real world around me just so that i can have more time to feed my addiction

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become selfish in my need to 'get a fix' by doing what I can to make more time to play the game to satisfy myself and compromise others

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give into this addiction and control my life where all i can think of is playing the game.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to feeling powerful as my game character levels up and keep playing the game to feel more powerful

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to the feeling of accomplishment when I reach my goal in the game - not realizing that I feel as if I accomplish nothing in life and the game makes me feel better so I play it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the game as an escape from reality and as an distraction, because games are fun and easy - not realizing that I am running away from reality and not wanting to face life

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is the game that makes me feel powerful, not realizing that i am the one creating the feeling  within myself.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that addiction is something that happened to me - its caused by the game as if the game has power over me - not realizing that i created that addiction and I allowed myself to become addicted.

I commit myself to stop addiction by realizing that I created the addiction and that i have the power to stop it by choosing to stop it

I commit myself to realize that I ignored the world around me and escaped from it by playing games, because games are easier and fun whereas life is difficult - and that i cannot ignore the world around me. Instead I commit myself to make the world a better place

I commit myself to stop believing the power and accomplishment i feel when playing games to be real - and to realize that real power comes from changing within to become an effective being that is the directive principle in my life

I commit myself to stop all addictions as being addicted is me giving my power away and becoming depended on something outside myself

I commit myself to not become the picture below...