Day 93 - Self Support, Worthiness, Life

 

We create our life from the choices we make. Obviously you need money to able to live to be able to make choices.

In my previous blog I wrote about how I do not support myself - where i would rather help others. But what i have noticed is that I do support myself by supporting others - in supporting others you learn allot about yourself and who you are. But I always see others as more than i am.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to when my mother died make the choice to see life as pointless and in this not worth the pain that comes with it and thus see myself as worthless and my life pointless

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find meaning in life by assisting and supporting them so that they do not go through the pain I felt and completely ignoring myself

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to in fear of loosing people to assist and support them so that I do not leave me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as unworthy and thus not worth supporting myself

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see other people as more than i am and that they need saving and thus create the savior character to help them with their problems

I forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that me helping others was my attempt to help myself, because i could se myself in others and thus i was not doing it got them but for me.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see others as superior to me - because I believe I am unworthy

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to secretly want others to help me, because I believe that i cannot help myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame life for me being depressed and seeing myself as undeserving, inferior and unworthy - believing it to be a consequence from when my mother died

I forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I was seeing MYSELF as being unworthy, I believed are more than ME, that i created this experience and belief by choosing it.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I do no harm and that it is fine to just not support myself in becoming an effective human - not realizing that I can only support people to a point - and if i want to be effective i will first have to support myself and dedicate myself so that i will be able to support and assist people more effectively and thus teaching them how to support themselves and start creating a pattern - its starts with me. By not doing this i deny others a chance to see 

I commit myself to realize that we as humans have created a life that is actually pointless and that we have become unworthy of life by abusing life and causing suffering - and that we must undo this by making it a point in life to stop abusing life so that we may become beings of true worth.

I commit myself to stop using others as an excuse not to support and move myself by supporting and moving myself and to stop the fear of loss - death is part of life and there is no need to fear life

I commit myself to stop wanting other to support me when i am unwilling to so for myself - and to instead support myself

I commit myself to realize that I am the creator of my life and how i experience myself in situations and that I have the power to decide - nothing else is to blame for something I created

I commit myself to take self responsibility for myself by supporting myself and in that support others to do what is best for all and in that changing the world