Day 89 - Self Doubt Character

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create the self doubt character

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use this character when i am faced with a new task that I have not done before

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as not good enough to do this task even before I attempt to do it - and to hen in this believe and judgement to then not do the task

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to give myself that chance to proof to myself if I am able to do a new task or not and to rather choose to give up than pushing though

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear making a mistake when doing a project that I have not done yet - and to first go into self doubt and worry, believing that I will screw it up.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to develop self trust within what I do

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that not knowing how to do a project is ok and that with proper research  I can teach myself the how to so there is no need for the automatic self doubt and fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i am not a confident person and that is how I am/my personality - not realizing that it is a limitation and an excuse for me not to become effective 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that each new point/task that I face is an opportunity for me to expand myself and to learn more about myself and to become more  effective 

I commit myself to stop the self doubt character and to realize that with proper research  I can teach myself the how to

I commit myself to stop using character when facing a new task

I commit myself to stop judging myself as not being good enough and to realize that it is a believe that i have created and is not real, because i determine how good/effective i am and can only do so once I actually do the project to the best of my ability and more.

I commit myself to give myself the change to proof to myself whether  or not I am able to do the task

I commit myself to stop fearing making mistakes and to realize that its through mistakes and learning from them where i become more effective

I commit myself to trust myself and not to give in to self doubt and give up

I commit myself to stop the belief that i am not a confident person and that is just who I am - and to realize that its an excuse and limitation and with self trust I can become confidence

I Commit myself to embrace new task and to see them as an opportunity for me to expand myself and to learn more about myself and to become more  effective 

Day 62 - Love is Fear

 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that love is not the opposite of fear, but that it is exactly fear

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use love as a disguise for my fear so that i can live in ignorance - not realizing that I am living a life of fear

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when i say 'I Love You' i am actually saying 'i fear you' - that i fear that person leaving me and in saying i love you i am reaffirming my fear and making sure i do not lose the other person

I forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that when i say i love you to my children i create this fear within them and keep the fear cycle going and making sure they will always live a life of fear

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that Love is keeping me  from changing as it is fear  - and that in that fear of change i will use love to justify my actions and the world by saying all we need is love - not realizing that all the love in the world has not changed anything but that the world is getting worse all because we are fear

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that all I am is fear - that my parents taught me and kept me in line with fear - that all my actions and thoughts are based on fear - that the only reason christianity exists is because of fear and that all religion is based on fear - and that the world is based on fear to keep people ignorant.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see fear as normal and part of human nature and that because everybody fears is ok for me to have fear as well - not realizing that this is a limitation and another excuse not to face my fears and stop all fears

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I created love as the perfect excuse so that i can believe and feel as if im doing the right thing because it feels good and it is considered good to love and that to love is very easy  - all so that i do not have to face myself and my fears and that i do not have to do anything to change myself to change the world

I commit myself to see the evilness of love that all it is is fear

I commit myself to realize that i used love to disguise my fears so that i do not have to face them and myself

I commit myself to stop saying I love you as a point of fear of losing someone 

I commit myself to stop the cycle of abuse as fear and to stop fear within myself so that i do mot teach my children or others how to fear

I commit myself to not use fear as a form of control and to see that religion is used this way where fear is used as control

I commit myself to not accept the belief that fear as part of human nature and that it is normal - but to stop this excuse and limitation by facing my fears and stop them and become self directed and not love/fear directed

I commit myself to stop using love/fear as an excuse not to change but to instead walk the fear/love and walk right into the fires of the hell i created within me and the world to face all fears so that I can put out the fires/fears that keep me from becoming real