Tuesday, 11 June 2013

Day 172 - Its YOUR fault!


index Ever had that moment when somebody made you angry? Or somebody that really irritated you. For example when somebody says or does something and then you react and become all angry and attack the person verbally.

Within this it is always the other person fault for making you angry. They are the one to blame for making you react - or is it?

Let us break it down step by step and see how this process of reacting unfolds:

You are in a conversation with  friends talking about random things. Then a friend comments about your clothes saying it looks funny. You take it personally and react by getting really angry and voice something to act out on the anger you feel.  Lets say you are very particular about what you wear and pick out your clothes with specificity - now here is somebody saying your clothes look funny which contradicts your idea of how you clothes look. You perceive it as the friend insulting who you are since you picked out the clothes and thus start to defend yourself by attacking the friend verbally. Within all this you blame the friend for making you angry.

Notice here that you were the one who took it personally. You are the one you reacted. The friend did not make you do anything you did not choose to - he simply said something based on his perception and ideas about clothes and you chose to take it personally and react. Another person cannot 'make' you angry. Where is the anger? Did the other person magically transfer anger into you? No. The anger is within you - you created the anger.

Within this it is clear that you were the one responsible for creating the anger you felt. You alone were responsible for taking what was said personally and reacted on it. We cannot blame others for how we feel inside, because we create it.

This can be applied for any reaction you feel within you where you believe its the other persons fault - were you blame others for how you feel. No one can make you react  unless you allow it. there is a choice within all this. So next time when you believe somebody insulted you look inward. Look at why there is a reaction within you. For more info on this particular subject of not taking things personally and not to be controlled by what others say go to Desteni. If you want a detailed free course that shows you how to stand strong and stop feeling powerless towards other peoples reactions have a look over here: Desteni I process lite

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