Day 165 - Being stuck

 

 

Today I am going to have a look at the word stuck.

I looked at the experience of myself and this is one of the words that came up – there is a feeling of being stuck, no flow. How is it possible to feel stuck within self?

The only way to be stuck is when you do not move. When you face the same points over and over again, but never overcome them. Also when you keep on falling on the same points and when you do not change. When you keep on giving in and giving up and not pushing through. Then there is a feeling of being stuck.

Within this I am the one who created this experience. I alone am responsible for this, thus I am the one able to stop this this experience of being stuck. The question is then how?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an experience of being stuck within myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am unable to move past this point and that I lack the power and ability

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I am the one who created this and thus I am responsible for it and within this it is up to me to move past the experience of being stuck

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to come up with any and all excuses not to get myself unstuck and start moving – not realizing that there is no valid excuse and all these excuses I have made is me not allowing myself to  push through the resistances.

I forgive myself that I have accepted not and allowed myself to realize that being stuck is actually me not moving

I forgive myself that I have accepted not and allowed myself to push through the resistances I face so that I can stop the feeling of being stuck by moving myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted not and allowed myself to realize that If I keep on giving up and giving in I create a repeating pattern /Timeloop and the points will keep coming until I make the choice to stop this pattern by moving past it

I forgive myself that I have accepted not and allowed myself to realize that this experience of being stuck will always be with me unless I do something to change myself to be able to move past this experience of being stuck

I commit myself to stop creating the experience of being stuck – instead when I am stuck at a particular point I investigate the reason why and find a way how to move past it

I commit myself to stop the belief and idea that I am unable or lack the power to get myself unstuck – Instead I use the tools ( i.e. writing) to put myself in a position to get myself moving again

I commit myself to stop using excuses – instead I realize that There is no excuse to not get myself moving

I commit myself to stop giving in and giving up when I face resistance – instead I realize that If I do not move through the resistance I will create the experience of being stuck so I commit myself to push myself to move past the resistances

I commit myself to stop the repetitive pattern of stukcness by changing myself so that I do not fall on the same points over and over again

Day 156 - Ask and you shall receive - Or Be silent and suffer

 

 

The heading seems a bit gloomy and doomy, which is how I feel today. I’ll start with words of wisdom that each one should take to heart and live by, for it will make your life easier and take away some of the struggle: ''Read the Manual''

With most things that require assembling, like a cupboard or a table - they include this piece of paper that has all the instructions on how to assemble it. Some people completely ignore this ‘holy grail’ believing they do not need such a thing - stubbornly claiming ''I can do it myself '' or " I'm a manly man and manuals are mainly for plainly wussy people''. Most of the time this stubbornness leads to a scene of a very irritated ''manly man'' struggling to assemble the thing and in his effort to protect his pride, absolutely refuses any help.

Read the manual - they put it there for a reason. And I can tell you from experience as a person who reads the manual that it has made my life easier. So heed my words as this is one of life's lessons that I have learned.

Now to some other words of wisdom. What  you are about to read will amaze you in its simplicity and how astonishingly helpful it will be once you apply this: ''Ask and you shall receive''

I have not yet fully grasped this wisdom as of yet -Even though I Read the Manual, which is like asking for assistance. I will explain my conundrum and the reason for my gloominess. Yesterday evening I was helping out with preparing my stable. The power was out which meant we had to fill up the water buckets underneath the tap and then carry them to the stables. With my Graves disease I have been inactive and not as strong as I used to be and I also have back problems so as I was filling up this water bucket of doom I knew it would be too much of a strain on my back to carry it and I should ASK so that I can RECIEVE assistance. Alas I did not and told myself that ''I can do it myself''. I carried that bucket and immediately regretted my decision - it was a great struggle for me and today I suffered the consequences. My back has been very sore today.

All could have been avoided if I simply asked for help like I ask those manuals filled with great wisdom.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to ask for assistance when I require it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that because I am not capable anymore of carrying heavy things to see it as me being useless and unhelpful

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be stubborn and believe that I do not need any help when I can clearly see that I do

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have an emotional reaction to me not being as strong as I used to be and see that as me being weak, not seeing for what it really is which is simply me not being as strong as I used to be – and this only from a ‘physical perspective’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to prove that I am not weak by trying to carry something I am clearly not capable of carrying - not realizing that strength has nothing to do with muscle power and instead has all to do with my beingness/who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry at myself for doing such a silly thing and judging myself because of it.

I commit myself to ask for assistance when I need it

I commit myself to stop the belief that I am useless because I cannot help out with heavy objects anymore - Instead I realize that my body is not as strong anymore and thus I am physically unable to carry heavy things

I commit myself to stop being stubborn and instead listen to common sense

I commit myself to stop the reaction to me not being as strong as I used to be and seeing myself as weak, Instead I see it for what is really is - I am simply not strong anymore and there is nothing weak about it - it simply is

I commit myself to stop judging myself when I did something silly - instead I learn from the event and make sure I do not do it again

I commit myself to stop being angry at myself for hurting my back - instead I stop the anger and realize that anger will do nothing but fumigate me and is useless. I turn that anger into something practical like finding the reason why I hurt myself so that I do not do it again.

Day 55 - Why Forgetting can not be an excuse

 

If you forget something you are not here in the moment or facing resistance where you sub consciously push it back and deliberately forget or deem something as unimportant and then forget

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that forgetting something is an excuse and something that I do not have any power over and that it just happens and is acceptable

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself when i do forget something and then to be hard on myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I am asked to do something later that i don't like to do to then in that resistance push it far back in my mind so that i can forget about it and sue that as a perfect excuse - all the while believing I'm innocent

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when needing to something later that i deem small and insignificant to push it far back in my mind so that i can forget about it and sue that as a perfect excuse - all the while believing I'm innocent

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when having a task to do later to not be here in the moment and to in that moment be in the mind and then already decide to forget it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rely on memory so that i do not forget  - not realizing that memory is limited and that by being here in every moment i would not have to remember as i can simply bring the moment here to see what is here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i need memory not realizing that i do not need to remember to wipe my ass or where clothes, but that it is an physical action that is here in the moment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be here in every moment but to be in the mind which is limited and not real and that if i am here in every moment i would never forget

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become so overwhelmed with all the things i do daily that i believe its too much to handle and that i cannot keep up and then to forget things because im constantly busy in my mind with fearing that i will forget something - and then in the mind i am not here in reality and then i create the point of forgetting

I commit myself to stop forgetting things

I commit myself to stop being hard on myself and to not judge myself when i do forget something, but to find the reason why i did forget and to correct myself so that i do not make the same mistake again

I commit myself to stop using forgetfulness and an excuse and to see that it is actually a deliberate act

i commit myself to take self responsibility by not forgetting by dedicating myself to be here in every moment

I commit myself to stop relying on memory so that i do not forget but to be here in breath

I commit myself to when asked to do something that i do not like to stop the resistance and to see it is not real and then be here so that can do it

I commit myself to when asked to do something that i deem insignificant to realize that im judging something based on a believe that i have so i stop it and do it anyway 

I commit myself to breathe and to realize that if i feel overwhelmed i am not breathing and if i am not breathing then i am going to forget things since i am not here but in my mind