Day 288: Family – Why this desire will destroy your life

 

This is so deep rooted within most – the desire to have a family. How many women and men out there dream about their perfect wedding from a young age? Why would this desire be the end of you? What makes this particular desire so dangerous?

One on my favorite Comedy TV shows is Scrubs . One of the characters ( Elliot) is your stereotypical girly girl. Ever since she was a kid she had dreamed of her perfect wedding and already had a book dedicated to wedding plans in case she ever gets a proposal. In one of the episodes she is engaged to a guy and having doubts whether she should marry this guy or not and asked advice from her friends. At one point a guy asks her a very important question: “Do you really want to marry this guy, or do you just want to be married?”

She had this desire to be married from a very young age as most people do. It’s something that’s ingrained from a young age – the purpose of life is to get educated to get a job to have money to raise a family and then die. So Elliot realized that she does not actually want to marry this guy – but that she just wanted to be married. It was not about the guy at all – only the idea of being married.

Just like the desire for relationships – it becomes all about the desire to be with someone no matter who it is. The same is for the Desire for family – it doesn’t matter who it is really it’s not about the actual person you are with but more just the idea of being married. And so many people compromise themselves and their lives just for the sake of fulfilling this desire. The desire takes over and all common sense and what is practical and all sense of living principles goes out of the window. It all becomes about the desire. What makes this so difficult for people to see is that we find any excuse or justification to make our desires a reality and in the end we are completely controlled by it.

Again – this is not real. Would you not rather be in a relationship that is supportive and not based on a need or desire? IF your starting point is desiring a relationship then all you have is a relationship with the desire. I will end with this from my previous blog and continue with it in the next:

A real relationship has nothing to do with fulfillment or desire – it’s taking responsibility for another being and supporting them to be the best they can be. Now, what does that mean exactly? Let us see the answer in the next blog