Day 308 -What Sets you Off?

Ever had that single event that set you off? And then afterwards you asked yourself where all that anger and rage came from? Or even that one moment that where you became overwhelmed by stress? How does all that happen?

Day 288: Family – Why this desire will destroy your life

 

This is so deep rooted within most – the desire to have a family. How many women and men out there dream about their perfect wedding from a young age? Why would this desire be the end of you? What makes this particular desire so dangerous?

One on my favorite Comedy TV shows is Scrubs . One of the characters ( Elliot) is your stereotypical girly girl. Ever since she was a kid she had dreamed of her perfect wedding and already had a book dedicated to wedding plans in case she ever gets a proposal. In one of the episodes she is engaged to a guy and having doubts whether she should marry this guy or not and asked advice from her friends. At one point a guy asks her a very important question: “Do you really want to marry this guy, or do you just want to be married?”

She had this desire to be married from a very young age as most people do. It’s something that’s ingrained from a young age – the purpose of life is to get educated to get a job to have money to raise a family and then die. So Elliot realized that she does not actually want to marry this guy – but that she just wanted to be married. It was not about the guy at all – only the idea of being married.

Just like the desire for relationships – it becomes all about the desire to be with someone no matter who it is. The same is for the Desire for family – it doesn’t matter who it is really it’s not about the actual person you are with but more just the idea of being married. And so many people compromise themselves and their lives just for the sake of fulfilling this desire. The desire takes over and all common sense and what is practical and all sense of living principles goes out of the window. It all becomes about the desire. What makes this so difficult for people to see is that we find any excuse or justification to make our desires a reality and in the end we are completely controlled by it.

Again – this is not real. Would you not rather be in a relationship that is supportive and not based on a need or desire? IF your starting point is desiring a relationship then all you have is a relationship with the desire. I will end with this from my previous blog and continue with it in the next:

A real relationship has nothing to do with fulfillment or desire – it’s taking responsibility for another being and supporting them to be the best they can be. Now, what does that mean exactly? Let us see the answer in the next blog

Day 250: The Creator...

 

Here I will start looking at what meaning the word creator has within me and my experience with this word throughout my life and how I have defined myself according to this word and thus lived my life according to this.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see the word creator as a powerful being or life force that directs and controls and created everything in the universe and thus believe that I have no power or responsibility.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see creator as something that is superior/more than me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see creator as something I can never be based on beliefs and ideas I accepted and allowed from religion.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to investigate and see for myself what is possible and not instead of accepting what is believed on face value.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to take self-responsibility for myself and my actions/deeds/thoughts and instead make something outside myself responsible like a creator/god or lifeforce.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I am the one living this life – that I am the one who feels, creates emotions, have thoughts/backchats and live through choices made and not some other higher being or entity that directs everything, thus when shit hits the fan I cannot blame anything else but myself, because I am the one responsible for me.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see myself as a creator of my life – that It has been me all along that chose to be who I am today and not some higher being/entity/god/lifeforce, and how I refused to accept this fact because it would mean I have to take responsibility for myself and stop blaming and holding something outside myself accountable.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that by believing myself to not be responsible for my life I will not do anything to change it

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that If I am the one who has been directing my life up to now and I am not satisfied in the direction it is going then I am the one who needs to change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to place responsibility outside myself by creating the belief and idea that there is something else directing life that is bigger than me, because then I don’t have to take self-responsibility and when things go wrong I can blame someone else.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that to believe there is a greater force directing life then I believe everything is the way it is supposed to be and thus I would do nothing to change the way of the world and everything would stay the same

I commit myself to stop the belief and idea that there is a great powerful being/entity/force that directs and controls everything in the universe and my life that is vastly superior to me – instead I realize that I am the creator of my life and thus I am the one directing my life and chose to be who I am today based on what I have accepted and allowed

I commit myself to investigate and push through my perceived limitations to see what is in fact practically possible in this world and in my life. There is no way for me to know unless I give it my all to the best of my ability

I commit myself to stop blaming something outside myself for the events that happens to me – instead I realize that nothing happens to me, but that I am the one creating everything that goes on within my life and thus there is nobody to blame. Within this I commit myself to become self-responsible and direct my life to sort it out, because I am responsible for it.

I commit myself to realize that I run away from self-responsibility and justify it with the excuse that there is a god/being/entity/force out there with a plan directing everything thus everything is the way it is supposed to be and I must not and cannot change it – Instead I commit myself to stop this excuse and justification and stand up to change myself and this world by doing everything I am able to