Day 289:Desire is the downfall of many relationships - how to make it REAL

 

Desire is the downfall of many relationships if not all. It’s because of this desire that you will overlook certain aspects of your partner just to keep the relationship going. Let’s say your partner tends to show irritation with dogs living in your house and do not like having them in the house. Now you really like this relationship of yours, so instead of keeping the dogs in the house you will keep them outside when he is around. This is a compromise and the reason behind this is fear – fear that this point will cause further conflict and might end the relationship. And so the poor dogs suffer because of your particular desire for relationships.

To live in fear like this – the fear of losing the relationship – is keeping you from expanding who you are and growing. Here is one the Principles that covers this:

“Relationships as Agreements: individuals coming together using agreements as a platform to one-on-one expand, grow and develop as individuals in life and living to support/assist each other unconditionally to reach their utmost potential where the agreement is a coming together of individuals understanding what it means to stand as equals and to stand as one.”

When it comes to supporting another person to be the best they can be there will most definitely be conflict involved, because that requires a point of change and with change there is friction since it does not come easy. So when your partner shows irritation to having dogs in the house and do not want them there – a point of support would be to find the source of the irritation. To open the point up and look at why dogs in the house cause irritation. Let’s say after some self-investigation and pushing and support from the other partner the reason for the irritation is a childhood memory of the partner’s parents who shouted at him whenever he let the dogs in the house. And throughout the years he developed that irritation within himself and projected it onto this situation.

And so you support the partner to overcome this irritation. This is what support means. It is to assist and support each other no matter what. Even if it will cause a bit of conflict – even if it means staring the person in the face and showing them what they are doing is unacceptable – to help them each other through it.

That is a real relationship – one with the sole purpose of assisting and supporting each other. Not because of some desire to have someone on your life or to fill an empty space in your heart, no. Being in a relationship is a commitment you make and a path you walk together to grow and expand. That is the real Deal.