I am turning 26 this year. There was a bit of anxiety within me when I looked at this – that I am getting older. Soon I will reach 30 and eventually 50. I am getting older. Time is going by seemingly faster – we are already more than halfway through 2013. The fear that came up was not that I will eventually die one day, but that time is going by. In just two years It would already be a decade since I graduated from school. A whole 10 years would have passed and it felt so short. In another decade I will say the same thing.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into fear when I saw that I am turning 26 this year.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create anxiety within myself that Time is running out and that one day I will no time left when I do die.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that time will go by too fast for me and that I would not have enough time to do all the things I want.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will regret the way I lived and feel that I have wasted it.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that if I use my time effectively and do all that I am able to with the time I have then there can be no regret.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that even though time is going by – there is absolutely nothing I can do to slow it down or stop it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that one day when I am old I would be too old to do the things I am able to do now and thus believe that I should rush and get things done quickly while I have the time. Within this I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that IF I rush through life I will miss out anyway.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to instead of rushing and wanting to get things done fast while I can – to instead to the best I am able to within the things I do now and only when I see that I have done all I can and still did not get to everything then I can say I did all I can and there is no point to worry about it.
I commit myself to stop linking fear with my age and growing old – instead I live in the moment
I commit myself to stop creating anxiety about the fact that time is going by and not to see it as time running out – instead I do the best I am able to with the time I have.
I commit myself to stop the fear That I will one day not be able to do the things I do now and then rush through things to get it done – instead I slow down and make sure I do things effectively with the time that I have
I commit myself to stop the fear that I will regret how I used my time – instead I realize that there can be no regret when I did in fact do all that I could to the best of my ability.
Thx Fidelis.
ReplyDeleteI also often thought: wow, wtf I am already turning 27...
But then I realize it's just a number.
But with the death of my grandpa, I did think more about death, and how I will loose everyone I know. So I fear more for the death of those 'close' to me, than of myself. Since also I don't want a family so basically your entire family dies, and you don't have any kids either. Many people find comfort with their kids.
Anyway, the real comfort is within ourselves but still... it's not easy I find to be that comfort in totality. Not something I have been able to be.
I turned 27 on April 27th and YES, I also had and still have thoughts about getting older/ the time passing by, and now I see this number almost everywhere I look at, but this has to do with the fact that I gave power to this thoughts, like when one is looking for job and suddenly you begin to see Job Ad's eeeevrywhere. My Grandma died last January - that was the first time I experienced death, a funeral, the first time I saw a dead body...It was like a slap on the face in a way...
ReplyDeleteTo me, time seems running out faster every day, every year since a couple of years.
Thanks 4 sharing, Ann & Fidelis!
Thanks - age is just a number...that shows you how much time you have left!! lol. Not really, you could live till you are old or death could visit you anytime in-between so there is no point worrying about death. Instead make sure that when you do die that you die with no regret and you can say that you did all you could with the time you had.
ReplyDeleteI turn 30 in a month, lol
ReplyDeleteGood advice.
ReplyDeleteI do consider 20-30 and even in 40 still very young :P Probably because I am used to people becomming around 100 in my family