Friday, 4 March 2011

Being on constant guard - Anticipating the worst

The world is out to get me. And I'm constantly tested in every moment. I have to watch what i say and analyze the actions and words of others to find the true meaning. I cannot answer a question without thinking about it and making sure I am taking everything into consideration when answering. Decision making is difficult because i want to make sure I don't miss something.
I am on constant guard to make sure that nothing can hurt me.

Now walking around like this constantly analyzing every action, feeling tensed up inside has consequences. I noticed that throughout my day i unconsciously tense up my stomach muscles, and it stays tense automatically. I am finding it difficult to stop, because the only to not be so tense is to relax, and i am not relaxing.

Another side effect of being on guard and feeling tensed up inside is that I'm constipated.

I went through this experience before and what i did was stop anticipating and being here, and as i breathe i move through my body, feeling myself flowing through all parts of my body so that i can relax the muscles. I did that an the constipation went away.

But then i went back into the same pattern, so time-looped and here i am again.

I Stand

And I am Here again.     

LAXative -  reLAX

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