Day 286: Relationships – Why this Desire will be the end of you.

 

I  know the title may sound a tad bit dramatic, but so is life so sit back and relax and continue reading – you just might learn something. We all have this – the desire to be with someone. It becomes more prominent in our teenage years where most of that time is spent on chasing or finding “ THE ONE”. I know I had my fair share of chasing and trying to find somebody to love. It’s a dangerous thing really – Desire - and I’ll show you why.

Desire is something that will completely direct and control your life. Desire is such a feel good feeling that we simply give into without much fight. Desire is something that will override any common sense or particular principles you live by – you simply forget all of that and follow the desire no matter where the road ends. That is what makes Desire so dangerous – you lose direction in your life by giving in to desire.

I’m sure many of us had those moments – where the point of desire stares you right in the face and all you have to do is give in, lean in and grab it – no matter the consequences. And at that moment all common sense fades away and it just feels right.

For me it was a girl, a long time ago. You know the story: Boy meets girl, they become best friends, after time they become more. The only twist was that the girl had a boyfriend. Now I am what you would call a nice guy. I always saw myself as a person who would not date a girl who already has a boyfriend, but my desire showed me otherwise. I remember what went through my head – what made me do it. This desire for relationships simply took over any reasoning or common sense or morals or principles I lived by – I simply said F**k that and gave in. And so began a secret behind the scenes relationship rooted from desire.

So that’s a simple example of Desire. The problem with Desire and what makes it so dangerous is that it’s something we really really want. We do not want to look at it objectively and let it go when we know it will not benefit our lives or who we are. Instead we want to chase that desire, that feel good feeling. When it comes to the desire for relationships – we meet someone and we really want to make it work – simply because we desire having a relationship. What most do not see here is that it’s not the other person they actually like, but it’s the idea of having a relationship that they are after. So in the end it has very little to do with the actual person you found, but rather its all about having the desire of relationship fulfilled.

And that is no way of actually living – chasing this desire or idea of relationship. Would it not be better if it was real? Curing aloneness is not by being with somebody else. Chasing relationships is not the answer to filling the emptiness you feel. The first step is getting to know yourself, and being comfortable with yourself, and caring for yourself and loving yourself.

A real relationship has nothing to do with fulfillment or desire – it’s taking responsibility for another being and supporting them to be the best they can be. Now, what does that mean exactly? Let us see the answer in the next blog

Day 47 - Suffering exist if postponement exist

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create the postponement character to suit my own needs

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to out of my resistance create this character as an excuse not to do something

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by this character that it controls me in delaying what im doing

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to allow the resistance within myself to direct me and who i am by postponing that which is important

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that postponing tasks will only affect me and nobody else

I forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that what i am doing is taking  self responsibility so that suffering and abuse can end and that cant end if i postpone

I forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that if i postpone standing for life then all the suffering and abuse that exist today will exist for longer

I forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed myself to see that the decision i make to postpone I accept the suffering and and abuse in the world

I forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed myself to take self responsibility and stop postponement and in that stop the suffering and abuse in this world

I forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed myself to delete this character that allows the suffering to continue just because i face resistance and not allowing myself to push through the resistance

I commit myself to delete the character of postponement

I commit myself to stop using the ''ill do it some other time excuse''

I commit myself to do what i set out to do no matter what

I commit myself to take self responsibility by stopping delaying standing for life - because the longer i wait the longer the suffering and abuse exist

I commit myself to rather choose not to accept the abuse of this world by choosing not to postpone myself to become effective in changing it

I commit myself to stop being directed by thoughts feelings and emotions but to self directive in doing what needs to be done

I commit myself to realize that if i do nothing then nothing will happen so its up to me to go through the process of actual change - because if i change then the world changes