Day 201 - Why we take things Personally

 

I made vlogs expanding on this topic, but our Internet has been extremely slow so I have not been able to upload it yet. I will upload it as soon as our Internet allows or when SA finally invests in decent Internet speeds and solutions. Unfortunately the latter is highly unlikely, because most of the funding goes into the pockets of our government officials and pays for their mansion upgrades and goes towards increasing their vehicle stock while millions of SA citizens are in poverty struggling with daily life.

Enough with ranting for now and back to the topic at hand - Why do we take things personally?

This has been a tough point I had to work with, because i used to take a lot of things personally. It could be someone said something to me or they did something and I would react. A basic example was I remember when I was in school and my teacher was explaining physical differences between people and I do not remember why. She said that i have a big nose. Now this is a fact - proportionally my nose is a bit large for my face. She was simply stating fact and in no way meant anything by it, but I took it very personally and was angry. Now the question is why did I take this personally?  

The reason for me taking it personally is that I had a judgement within myself about my large nose - I judged myself and did not like having a big nose. So within this I was the one who created the anger based on a judgement I had within myself. It had nothing to do with the teacher - I cannot blame her for the anger, because I created it. The reason i took it personally was because of a self judgement.

This can be applied to everything related to taking things personally. NO matter what is said to you or what anybody does, in the end you alone are responsible for yourself and your reactions. YOU are the one who take things personally - you yourself create that based on a judgement you have about yourself. In a way the other person is actually showing this to you so instead of getting angry at them - thank them for showing you and giving you a point to work on. Once you move pass the self judgement it will no longer have control over you. I eventually got over my nose being too big so when someone comments on my nose I do not take it personally. To recap - Taking things personally is a self judgement and something you alone created and you are the one who can stop it.

 

PS - this blog will have no cool picture in it, because it then takes longer to upload. Blame SA for this horrible inconvenience they caused. Thank you.

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When Habits are all you are

 

I did vlog touching on this point and today I am going to explain it a bit more. I am letting go of being the “silent type” by speaking more and doing vlogs helped with that. When I took a break from the vlogs I noticed that I fell back into that pattern/habit of being a silent type. So what I realized is that all these characters we create within ourselves – the angry type, sad type, irritated, mean, spiteful – all these characters are actually habits.

These habits become part of who we are and we define ourselves by it. This is one of the reasons why change is so difficult, because you are stopping a habit. And it is very easy to fall back into the habit than to stop it. Thus far I have made progress – I do not mumble anymore and I make sure my words are clear although there are times when it is not clear.

This can applied to any self-change. You decide to stop the particular pattern/habit like getting angry easily or being very judgmental. There is resistance that comes up within you when you stop a habit and that is because you are busy changing yourself – you are stopping something that you have lived for a long time and made part of who you are. It takes time, but the important thing here is to not give in/give up. It is very easy to fall back in the habit/pattern , because that is how you have lived. To change it means living something new – something you have not yet lived. It is a self-directive decision to stop habits.

Now the question is of everything of who you are what is a habit/pattern and what is something you direct? Is everything you do a self-directive action or are you simply following a design? Why do we allow ourselves to be directed by habits/patterns? Would it not be a better way of living if all of who you are is self-directive? This is one of the things the Desteni Process is all about – it is ALL about YOU. YOU changing YOURSELF to be an effective living being. Join in and take part.

SimCity 2013 – a Broken Game

 

Many years ago I played this awesome game called SimCity 200. It is a game where get a massive square plot and you, the Mayor, build and manage a massive city. You need to supply your city with power, water and other necessities in order to have a functioning city full of satisfied people. It was a fun game. I recently started playing the new SimCity – SimCity 2013 also called SimCity 5 and here are my conclusions of this game.

At first when I heard the news that there was going to be a new SimCity released I was excited. As far as City building games go Maxis always did a good job. I did not get the game when it was first released – mostly due to the DRM – must be always online to be able to play the game which is a new disappointing feature in the SimCity franchise. Also – there were massive problems with their servers when the game launched.

So, after several months and game patches later I decided to play the game. At first it was a good game, but then the more I played the more I noticed that the game is actually broken. Traffic makes the game unplayable – once your city grows big cars get stuck in traffic and the city falls apart, because the fire trucks can’t get to the burning buildings and the ambulances can’t get to injured Sims. People have been complaining about the traffic and the creators have released patches that did improve the traffic flow, but it is still not right. MAXIS released a blog called “State of SimCity” and had this to say about traffic:

“ Traffic was always meant to be a challenge; in fact, many of our team considered traffic to be a strategy game all on its own. But, in reality, traffic was behaving irrationally. We got the player feedback and fixed it.”

Traffic is not fixed. Another problem is trying to find a balance between available jobs and workers. I have tried to find a balance and have not succeeded. I have low wealth Sims leaving my city, because they can’t find work, at the same time I have low wealth work places complaining they need workers. It doesn’t make sense!

Great works also do not work that great. There are syncing issues with different city plots to the Great works were some city plots can’t see the great work. I have built the International Airport and it would say my city benefits with 600 high wealth tourist, but then I cannot find any high wealth tourists in my city even though it is primed for them. Many others have complained about this glitch.

The main issue with SimCity 2013 is the small plot size you get to build your city – it is far too small and should at least be double the size. It is a constant struggle to find space to plop your buildings and almost always you have to sacrifice/bulldoze parts of you City in order to place necessary buildings. The fact is that the map sizes must be larger to make SimCity 2013 an enjoyable experience. MAXIS had this to say :

“City sizes have been a constant point of conversation among our players since we released the game. The game’s original design focused on the density of an intimate urban environment. It was about intercity connectivity and the challenge of managing a region of cities instead of one metropolis in isolation.”

Unfortunately traffic makes it impossible for cities to interconnect. You end up having a massive traffic jam on the highway before the cars even reach your city, because there is only one road coming into your city. They designed the game to be interconnected, but the game mechanics keeps it from working properly. The sad disappointed here is that MAXIS revealed the fact that:

“ I confirm that we will not be providing bigger city sizes…”

No Bigger city sizes for SimCity 2013 ever. Very sad indeed. They are releasing DLC “Cities of tomorrow” where you build futuristic Cities and has a new feature where you can expand upwards into the sky, but not outwards like we all want. To me that seems very sneaky of them, knowing full well we want more space to build and then release this DLC that we have to pay for.

I am sure there are many angry SimCity fans out there right now. I enjoyed SimCity 200, but the SimCity 2013 is ultimately a disappointment. The Game has so much potential to be excellent, but the game plays like an unfinished beta version. They released the game too soon with far too many glitches. Why? I do not know. Some say EA is to blame for pushing MAXIS to release the game early to make money, for profit. Whatever the reason – they gave us a broken, unfinished game that needed more time to get the glitches sorted. That is my conclusion of the game SimCity 2013.

WTF is Self-support part 2

 

IN my previous blog I wrote about Support and always looking for it from others which lead to the conclusion that if I constantly want others to support me then i do not support myself. So here follows steps for Self-support:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always look for support from other people – always outside of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always want to be supported by others before I can make a decision not realizing that this lead to me being indecisive and not able to direct myself in certain situations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to depend on support from others to such a extend that I could not always stand on my own without support from others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within relationships want support to be the primary deciding factor whether or not I continue with a relationship and if I do not get support to move on.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that If I constantly look for support from others it is an indication that I do not support myself.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to support myself and to believe that I can only obtain support from others outside myself and not from myself as Self-support.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear self-support, because it is easier to get others to support who I can always fall back to when mistakes are made, whereas with Self-support mistakes are on me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am unable to support myself, because It is something I have not fully lived yet, instead of realizing that just because I have not done it before effectively yet does not mean I am unable to.

I commit myself to stop the belief that support can only be obtained from others/outside myself.

I commit myself to support myself – to live Self support

I commit myself to stop depending on others and to support myself with decisions

I commit myself to stop wanting/looking support only from others and to instead support myself first and when I face a point where I require assistance I ask for support.

WTF is Self support and Why is it Important?

 

Today I am starting a Mini-Series specifically about Self-support. This point has been a recurring point that came up a lot in my life and revealed in many ways. And as I go deeper into this point new dimensions open up and I discover many new layers in regards to self-support.

Now, I have written a few blogs on Self-support and every time there is something new that comes up and that is cool, because with every layer I learn something new about myself.

What I can see now is that I have lived my life wanting support from others. Be It from my family or friends – I wanted to be supported in all aspects of my life. I am sure many live like this – always looking for support, but unwilling support yourself.

If I look back to my relationships I had in the past with girlfriends the primary point I looked for was support – I wanted support. And when the relationship ended I would look for it elsewhere. I never once considered that the fact I was look for support from others was an indication that I was not supporting myself, and because I was not supporting myself it influenced every decision I ever made. I wrote a blog about indecision and the lack of self-support is directly related to it.

I could not make decisions without help/support from others. Without a clear confirmation I always struggled with making choices. It was easier to get others to help me with making choices, because then there is no uncertainty and always someone to fall back to when the choice was a mistake.

And so I lived like this my whole life – always looking for support from other people and never being the directive principle in my life. This not only lead to me struggling to make decisions, but also unable to stand on my own – lacking inner strength and feeling inadequate all the time.

Since working on this point I have definitely changed. I realized that I must be willing, able to support myself – I must be able to stand on my own and be the directive principle in my life. To make choices on my own and not be afraid of making mistakes, but to learn from my mistakes. This particular process I have walked for a long time – to actually, practically live Self-Support.

In my Next blog I will continue this.