Now, I have written a few blogs on Self-support and every time there is something new that comes up and that is cool, because with every layer I learn something new about myself.
What I can see now is that I have lived my life wanting support from others. Be It from my family or friends – I wanted to be supported in all aspects of my life. I am sure many live like this – always looking for support, but unwilling support yourself.
If I look back to my relationships I had in the past with girlfriends the primary point I looked for was support – I wanted support. And when the relationship ended I would look for it elsewhere. I never once considered that the fact I was look for support from others was an indication that I was not supporting myself, and because I was not supporting myself it influenced every decision I ever made. I wrote a blog about indecision and the lack of self-support is directly related to it.
I could not make decisions without help/support from others. Without a clear confirmation I always struggled with making choices. It was easier to get others to help me with making choices, because then there is no uncertainty and always someone to fall back to when the choice was a mistake.
And so I lived like this my whole life – always looking for support from other people and never being the directive principle in my life. This not only lead to me struggling to make decisions, but also unable to stand on my own – lacking inner strength and feeling inadequate all the time.
Since working on this point I have definitely changed. I realized that I must be willing, able to support myself – I must be able to stand on my own and be the directive principle in my life. To make choices on my own and not be afraid of making mistakes, but to learn from my mistakes. This particular process I have walked for a long time – to actually, practically live Self-Support.
In my Next blog I will continue this.
Thanks Fidelis!
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