Day 188 - I Prefer Being Alone – The Silent Type...

 

I am On the topic of defining myself as the silent type.

Another point regarding the silent type is preferring to be alone. I always preferred to be alone in most situations. In school my high point of the day was spending time in room playing guitar or playing a game on the computer. I was comfortable with being by myself and liked it. I also liked being with friends since I was also comfortable around my friends. It would seem that comfortably is the main point here and the question is – Why was I more comfortable with myself?

I was not really a full on silent person that did not say anything – I was outgoing and all that. When I was in a group of friends and everybody talked I usually did not say much. One on one with friends or small groups I would engage in conversations, but mostly I liked to would listen. That is one cool thing of not saying much – I became very observant and noticed things. Anyway – the point is that I was more of an observer and did not participate much with anybody expect friends. One of the reasons was that I was not effective with participating or engaging conversations with people and the conversations I did have was me listening and the other conversing. Within this I see now that me preferring to be alone was actually hiding from people.

The consequences of my inability to communicate effectively was me being the silent type and because I was not effective at communication I preferred being alone since there was not need to converse with myself. Unfortunately back then I did not understand the importance of communicating – You cannot function effectively in this world if you lack communication skills. Really – if you have effective communication skills life becomes a bit easier. I did not develop these skills for myself, because talking to people was uncomfortable for me. I did not step beyond my comfort zone to expand myself which resulted in me being stuck. So it is time to do that – Step beyond my comfort zone.

This is the only way to expand yourself and become more effective – to push yourself beyond your limits and push through any and all resistance's along the way. Otherwise you stay the same. A simple example is learning to drive – at first it is a bit scary and tricky to get used to clutch control and traffic on the road, but you did not allow that fear and resistance to keep you from driving. You push through and eventually it all became second nature. Driving is like natural now. Stepped out the comfort zone and made driving a part of it.

I am not saying that being alone with yourself is wrong/bad. It is cool that I developed a point of comfortably within being alone by myself and its cool if you have done the same, but not being able to communicate effectively with others and hiding yourself in a room is limiting yourself extensively. Writing is cool practice – using the written word to communicate. It gives me time to look at what I write to bring out a message effectively, but If I would to speak this it would not be as good. Now it is time to use my lungs to push air through my vocal cords to produce a sound that I can manipulate with my tongue – or in simpler terms: Speak.

(More on speaking in my next blog where I will start a step by step process on how to speak effectively.)