Day 110 - Stress And Storms

 

A few days ago we had another Storm. Now when the previous storm hit i noticed that I became very anxious and start to stress out. I worry about what damage can occur with this storm. Specifically our dam wall and river wall. overtime it rains allot out river flows - the more rain the more powerful it flows. I do this every time a storm hits - and lately there has been allot of storms.

So i fear that the  the heavy rain will cause the river to flood and wash away our wall which will cause allot of damage if it does. The point i realize within this is that it doesn't’’ matter if I stress or not - it will not change a thing. It is to be aware of the point and to make all the precautions to make sure that the wall doesn't’ break. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become anxious whenever a storm hits

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to start to stress out during the storm, because there is no way for me to check the damage while the storm is here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that the river wall or dam wall broke and that its causing major damage along the way  even though I have no way of knowing yet

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when a storm hits to fear the worst

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when A storm hit during the day close to horses time to fear we will have to fetch them while the storm is still going.and fear being hit by lighting

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in this stress become frustrated and on edge where I will snap at others

I commit myself to not/s top stress and not/stop be anxious when there  is a big storm, but to instead breathe through it and enjoy the show.

I commit myself to stop expecting the worst when there is a big storm - instead I realize there is nothing i can do about it while its storming

I commit myself to stop the fear that something bad might happen like the river wall breaking - instead i breathe, inspect after the storm and do what's necessary to make sure the wall holds strong in the future so that I will have no excuse to worry.

I commit myself to stop the fear of pain of being hit by lighting or that the horses will freak out and become dangerous to walk them back in a storm - instead I make sure we get the horses before a storm hits -

if it does and we have to walk them in the middle of a storm i then stop my fear and stay calm and realize that my fear of being hit wont make the lighting not hit me.