Day 279- Why do we choose to create bad experiences???

 

Ever had the experience where you need to do something for the day and you don’t feel like doing it, but when the time comes to do it and your busy with it you find it’s not actually that bad? So why then did you think it’s going to be crappy and why did you not want to do it to begin with?

For example when I was in school and the teacher gave me homework. Throughout the day I would be like totally not looking forward to doing the homework. The more I would think about just how unpleasant it would be the more I would not want to do it and the more I postpone. Some days I would even simply not do it, and the next day I would cram it in quickly before class starts. Other days when I finally push through the resistance and just get to it I found it was actually not that bad. It was not as unpleasant as I thought it would be. So what made me think that it would be bad?

The problem comes with the thinking part. When you have something do to for the day we often start thinking about how it would be doing it – this is mostly based on past experiences. We think about times we did a similar thing before and where it was unpleasant or the bad experiences we had with particular task. For example homework – I would think about all the times I had to sit and struggle with homework and how time consuming it was and how it kept me from things I liked – I would take all of that and project it onto the homework that I need to do later that day.

Also thinking about it we already create the disdain and resistance towards the task ahead by linking it to past experiences. We already create the experience before we even get to the task. So looking at it it’s not the task that makes you not want to do it – you created the “bad” experience even before you started.

This is actually a very unnecessary experience, because we cannot know exactly what we will experience when doing the task that lies ahead of us. It will always be based on past events and assumptions formed from beliefs and ideas, but the fact remains – I will not know unless I actually do it.

Next time when there is something that you need to do, but don’t want to or feel like doing know this – by thinking about how bad it will be you actually create more resistance towards the task and create the bad experience you will have. This can be applied to anything you do. In the end the best thing to do is to stop the thoughts about how crappy it will be – stop creating the experience. Stop the thoughts and when the time comes to do this task simply do it. Stay out of your head be here and get it done and move on. Wouldn’t live be much simpler when we realize that we create how we experience ourselves…

Day 278: Be solution orientated – not problem orientated

 

The Other day I was facing a dilemma with some farm work. without going into details I had a particular problem where I could not find a solution and all I saw was problem after problem. So I explained the problems in detail to my partner and after every suggestion she gave me to get to a solution all I did was showing the problems with her suggestions. In the end I was complaining about the problems and became a little frustrated with all the problems. There is a saying “ complaining without giving solutions is called whining” - so at the end of it all I was doing was whining.

I was in a reaction at that point, because all I could see was problems. Then she said to me” Be solution orientated – not problem orientated”. And that stuck with me and I could see what I was doing. I was purely focusing on all the problems without actually looking at solutions. At that moment I was problem orientated and thus it is all I could see – problems. I took her advice started looking at solutions and then found something that worked.

It’s so easy to list the problems in our lives and continuously point them out and complain about them, but it’s a very different story to stop the whining and complaining and actually look for solutions to the problems. And in some cases there is not an Ideal solution which makes it easy to get stuck with all the problems, but being Solution Orientated will assist and support you to stop being blinded and consumed with the problems in your life and to find solutions.

Next time you find yourself in a situation where all you see is problems then you know “ I am being problem orientated”. In this state all you will see is problems and no solution will come out of this. Instead be Solution Orientated – this way you don’t allow the problems to keep you from getting to a solution.

Day 277: What does it mean to be "Here" in the moment?

 

You have probably heard this a few times in life “Live in the moment”. What does it mean to live in the moment? What does it mean to be here in the moment? And more importantly why is it so hard to actually be here in the moment?

The next time you are doing something like cleaning your house or some gardening pay attention to where you thoughts go. I was walking through the orchard one morning assessing the damage from a recent hail storm which unfortunately destroyed most of the figs. Anyway, as I was looking at the trees and trying to fix some of the damage and salvage what I could, I was constantly thinking. Thoughts like thinking about what I’m going to do next and what I’m going to make myself for lunch and other plans of the week etc.

So while I was busy picking damage fruit and trimming broken branches I was thinking about other things. I was not actually here in the moment, but in the future looking at plans and things I am going to do next – instead of being here and focusing on what I’m currently doing.

So being here in the moment means actually being here in the moment. It’s Not thinking about the future and constantly being in your head. While I was thinking about these things while walking in the orchard my awareness was diminished. When I realized what was doing and stopped the thoughts to simply be here in the moment I could hear the birds that I did not notice before.

Not being fully here in the moment we tend to miss things – it is in these moments that we tend to misplace keys, or forget about turning the oven off or any other event of forgetfulness. Simply because when you were putting down the keys you were in your head and not actually aware of your environment.

So bring yourself back to earth and be Here