Sunday, 9 March 2014

Day 212 - Can I Live without Frustration?


frustration_2 Anger, frustration and irritation – these fall into the same category, but they are all different. You can be frustrated, because you are irritated at the anger you experiencing. Today I am going to look specifically at the word Frustration. So what is frustration exactly? How do you get frustrated?

Simply put – frustration is when you have an expectation of how something should be and when it does not meet that expectation you become frustrated. So when you at it the cause of frustration is expectation.

Let’s say that today I am going to fix a tap that is a bit loose. The tap is attached to the sink and I see that the reason it is loose is because of a nut that is not tight. To fix this I would have to tighten the nut – I conclude that this task should be quick and simple. I get my spanner and go under the sink and encounter a big problem – my spanner cannot reach the nut, because there is no space to put my spanner. Since I do not have any other tool that can fit there I will have to use my hands.. So I use my hands only to find I cannot tighten the bolt enough by hand. By now I am getting frustrated, because the task is not simple or quick as I previously thought it would be.

The problem above is that I had an expectation before I started the task. We always have an expectation of how something should be, but reality is allot different from imagination. We cannot always see the outcome of something and having expectations you are setting yourself up for frustration.

Another example would be relationships. This a big one, because when entering a relationship you have expectations. Not only you, but the other person you are in relationship with also has expectations. So now you have 2 people with expectations and when they do not meet you get quite allot of frustration.

Frustration and expectation go hand in hand. To me more specific here – unrealistic expectations are the problem. When we look at something we use imagination and personal influences so when that meets reality we soon find out they are not the same. This physical reality is allot different from our mind/imagination.

So when you look at something like a simple repair job you can assess what the likely cause is and go about repairing it according to that, but sometimes you won’t see the whole picture and the tasks will be more difficult or take longer than you previously thought, but to get all frustrated will change nothing. The only thing frustration does is hurt you and sometimes it will hurt you physically – like trying to hammer in a stubborn nail while being frustrated at the nail will most likely cause you to hammer your thumb.

The most effective thing when you are doing something or about to do something is to let go of any and all expectations – you cannot know the full extent of the tasks ahead of you. You can prepare yourself as effectively as you are able yes, but expectations are useless.

All in all the key to get Rid of future frustrations is to let go of expectations.

1 comment:

  1. thanks for sharing, very practical and supportive!