Ok. I have an irrational fear of large moths. The funny thing about irrational fears is that you know full well it is irrational, but you still have the fear. While most people have fears about snakes and spiders and various other creepy crawlers, I have a fear of large moths.
Today I had to face that fear head on when a moth came into the room and sat by the bedroom light. It was not a very safe place for this moth, because the room is full cats and if the cats caught the moth it would have died a painful death. So the moth had to come out.
I was the only one available to get this poor moth out to safety and the only thing keeping me from picking up this moth is my fear. So I managed to get myself close enough to grab the moth, but every time I thought about grabbing the moth my fear grew. Every conceivable thought and excuse ran through my head, so that I can find a justification for not having to pick up this moth. This hesitation went on for a while and before I knew it I was completely terrified of this moth where just before I go for it ( to grab it) a shock of fear would stop me every time. I was frozen with fear. I truly believed that I could not do it. the thoughts and fear made me think i lacked the ability to move through it and grab that moth.
I understood that the fear was irrational and silly, because this moth cannot harm me in any way. Yet, even with that knowing I was still petrified. It took allot of pushing to stop allowing this fear to direct me. It really took all I had to direct myself to take my hand and grab the poor moth and get it out of the room. In the end all that was left to get this done was to simply stop thinking about it, to stop the fear directing me and just grab the moth and get it out.
When I was done I realized it was not at all as bad as I thought it would be. The thoughts and the fear made it allot worse than it actually was and I realized that all of it was not real.
Now, some of you reading this might think that this experience was simply ridiculous. Maybe you are saying “ how can such an irrational fear control you so much?”, but the truth is this: We all have that one thing that stops of from doing something. And that is the problem we have in this world.
It’s easy to say that you are going to change your life and live in a way that is best for all, but to actually live that change and apply it in your daily life? This is why most people give up, by not pushing through and not living the change.
Like with me and the moth - I told myself I’m going to grab this moth right now, but every time a thought would come up and the fear will get more and that would stop me from doing something I said I would. How many times have you in your life had this experience where you decided to do something and was very willing, but when it came to actually doing it thoughts and feelings and emotions came up and then you end up not doing it.
So my moth experience may be a trivial thing, but in the end it’s the same basic point. That you might know allot and understand allot, but if you do not actually live it and apply it in your life it’s useless. There comes a point in your life where all that is left is simply say TILL HERE NO FURTHER to all the things keeping you for directing your life and doing what you said you will. To simply stop the belief that you are unable to change and apply it in your life and go for it. Be the directive principle in your life.
Great Fidelis
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