Day 239 Making a Decision that needs to be made Immediately

 

I have always been horrible with decision making, from the smallest things like deciding what to eat to the big things in life. Over the years I have become better at the small things, but the big things still need direction.

Winter time on the farm means fire season. When there is a fire in the area people get called and those who are able to go help to put the fire out. In these situations time is very important so you need to really hurry and make sure you get to that fire as fast as possible, because the fire might burn down houses or trap and burn animals so the sooner you get to it the better. One night I got the call that a property was burning and they need help to put the fire out, unfortunately property was far away so this required a different approach.

Usually the fires were close so we jump on our tractor with the water cart attached and put out the fire. Eventually what we did was some guys went ahead with a car to get to the fire while another person drove the tractor. That way some people can already beat the fire while we wait fire the tractor.

Before I came to that decision on how to approach this point I hesitated, because It was a new situation I did not have previous experience on how to deal with point so I stressed out a bit trying to decide what I should do. And there is the mistake – allowing myself to panic and stress, because in that state I was not able to make any effective decisions or direct the situation effectively. So what will be the best way to face a tough time constraint decision?

The best thing you can do is to stop and breathe. Do not allow the stress and anxiety to direct you, simply stop and breathe. Also slow down, I found I was looking at everything at the same time instead of looking at it one point at a time. This will give you a “clear head” so that you can effectively look at the situation and direct it. Keep things practical – in these situations the answer is here. You may not know exactly what is going to happen, but what you can do is direct the moment the best way you are able to.

IF you require assistance with the big choices that do not need action immediately here is a cool self help guide how to best make a choice:

“We tend to get a little flustered and stressed out when we're faced with a big choice. There are usually a myriad of things to consider and usually all sorts of people trying to push you this way or that. All in all, it can be a pretty unpleasant experience when we don't know how to effectively dealing with the shit that seems to be flying at us from all directions.
So how the hell do you make a decision, especially when there seems to be so much stuff overwhelming you? First step:”

- See more at: http://activistsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2014/09/day-599-which-way-should-i-go.html#sthash.pLorVal3.dpuf

Day 238: Self Discipline - Where did it go?

 

A very important part of this process is Self-discipline – Without it self-change is nearly impossible. Without self-discipline you will always give into any resistance you feel and thus you never actually change.

It’s a hard thing to change yourself. With every change there will be resistance. With every task that you do not “feel like” doing there will be resistance. This is why self-discipline is necessary, because whenever there is something you should be doing, but do not feel like doing, without some level of discipline you will always give into the resistance. There will always be the one thought that will justify your choice not to do the task.

Unfortunately that is how this works. I can take myself as an example here. When I first started working with my hands around the farm I had big resistance towards it. Eventually I realized the importance of why this particular tasks needs to be done and so I did it regardless of how I felt about it. So what I basically did was pushed through resistance I felt and simply did the task. I did the task with the understanding that it needed to be done. Through the years of working with my hands I developed self-discipline and found it supported me in that regard.

Now it’s been a long time since my primary focus was working with my hands. Since my thyroid went haywire I was unable to do anything physical so I had to refocus my attention and time towards other things and this made me realize something new about self-discipline.

Once you have Self-discipline it is something you have to apply consistently in your daily life. It does not magically take away the resistance when you do something you do not like doing. The resistance still comes up, but then applying discipline you push through it and do the task no matter how you feel about it or what thoughts seems valid enough to keep you from doing it. When you decide to allow that one thought that will keep you from doing the tasks at hand (or in other words give into the resistance) then you don’t have that discipline anymore.

As you work through resistance you start to see just how far you will go to give into the resistance. All kinds of thoughts comes up: ‘’I’ll do it later” ,“ I had a long day”,” I’m tired”, “ I need a break and time for myself”, “ I do not have time for this” etc. That last one is a big one, because 99% of the time you do actually have time for it, but would rather use the time do something you like.

I used allot of excuses before not to do something. And today I had a look at the point of blogging, really went deep to try and find an actual valid answer to why I am not blogging more regularly? Sure, there were reasons, but none of which could truly justify it. There comes a time in life where all that’s left to do is to say: “Screw IT! I’m doing this!! Right now!!!” and then do the thing until it’s done. And my time is right now. I know I have been absent in the “bloggersphere”, that changes now.

IF there are others who are facing the same issue – where you have a big resistance towards something you should be doing – look at the reasons and thoughts. Really look deep and see for yourself that none are valid and that there is actually time. It’s time to simply say: Till here no further, Screw the resistance. I’m doing this. Right now.

The fear of the unknown – Why it’s pointless and How to Stop it

 

Today someone asked me a question: “How to relax in the face of the unknown?”

There are many who have faced this point or who are currently facing it. When you look at the road ahead and you have no idea where it will lead or the things you will face. When you Look at the future and become overwhelmed with fear and uncertainty. What is there to do?

I have faced this I my life. Where I am constantly anxious, because I do not know what will happen in the future. There are so many things that could go wrong with a particular choice and where I have no idea what to expect. In this case I walk around with that fear, the fear of the unknown.

The problem is that nobody knows what the future holds. You do not know what tomorrow brings, so then a fear is created along with a constant worrying. But if you really look at it, it’s kind of silly living with this fear and worry. There is saying: “Worrying is being in a rocking chair, it feels like you are moving, but you’re getting nowhere. This is true, because worrying about something has absolutely no practical use – it doesn’t benefit anything or anyone.

The way I dealt with this was looking at my past. What I found the core point to be was a lack of self-trust, because if I did trust myself that I am able to face whatever comes my way then there is really nothing to be worried about.

Thus far in my life I have faced many points within myself, from anger, jealousy depression etc. and I have learned allot about myself and the power I have – we all have - to direct ourselves. And although when these points first came up and I had no idea if I will be able to move past it and doubted myself at first, I eventually did make it through. It took time yes, but in the end thus far in my life whatever happened in my life I was able to push through it and come out the other side I little stronger.

Within all this self-trust was developed. IM not saying that I have completely abolished all fear and worries of the future, it is still a process and sometimes I feel that anxiety come up, but I have found a way to stop it. And even though I have no idea what the future will hold I know one thing – that I will be able to face it head on no matter what.

Born into Music - Projecting Your Desires onto your Children

 

I read a blog called “ how to create a child prodigy” that is about what choice children have for themselves to choose a life direction in a very young age. For example some parents force their children into taking lessons for an instrument at the age of 3. The movie “ SHINE” is an example of a parent who wanted his son to be a master pianist and pushed him into it his whole life. In these cases it is the parents projecting their desires onto their children.

This all led me to question – why am I a Musician?

My mother played the piano her whole – she played it when she was young and throughout the years. She played while she was pregnant with me and when I was born she played it still. There was always that link between my mother and the piano so I was naturally inclined to the piano as my first instrument. And I really liked playing the piano. I was never forced into it, It was not like I went for lessons at a young age or forced to sit and practice for hours and hours on end, I liked playing it and wanted to learn more. I was always quick to learn and people always said I was talented.

Back then I did not understand the reason why I liked it, but now when I look back at the reason it was because I wanted to be appreciated/valued. Every time I played for people they would cheer me on and say how good I am so that was my primary motivation – to be liked.

So for me the reason why I became a musician was because I was born into it, It made people appreciate me and it reminded me of my mother and that’s the reason I liked playing the piano.

Within all this I would say I’m lucky, because I have met people in my life who were forced to become better and better with a particular instrument and who had to practice many hours all to fulfill the parents dreams and ambitions. I did not have to deal with all that crap.

Music is self-expression. Something you do because you truly enjoy it. It is not something you should force onto a child. Too many parents want to shape their children according to the parent’s desires. The parents made mistakes in life or regretted not doing something and thus want to try and live through their children. Here is a quote from the blog above:

“A child should have the opportunity to explore and investigate and experience as much as possible so that they can find out what it is they do like - in this way the child has the best opportunity to make an informed decision for themselves. - See more at: http://activistsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2014/09/day-591-how-to-create-child-prodigy.html#sthash.2u6n0m5t.dpuf’’

Word.

If our Cells were like humans We’d All be Dead

 

I watched an interesting episode about Cells inside the human body called Curiosity: Battlefield Cell. It shows - in vivid detail - what happens when a virus enters your body and the process it goes through and how it attacks and infects cells.

The particular virus they showed was one that causes things like congestion in the nose and cold or flu. This virus goes through a very arduous process and it has one objective – to find a cell, clone an army and destroy it. The body has its defenses against viruses and bacteria and it actually goes into battles almost daily to keep viruses away from your cells.

I never knew just how complicated the body is, even before the virus gets to any cells there are many defenses within the body that detect and destroy these viruses. In turn the virus has many defenses and tactics to get past these defenses. When a virus eventually does get into a Cell it makes its way into the center where the virus DNA will kind of “overwrite” and replace the cell DNA with its own DNA. Then the virus will start cloning itself rapidly and create new viruses, thousands within this particular cell. Then it destroys the cell and these thousands of viruses will start the whole infection process with other cells in the body.

While this is all happening – when a cell gets infected and is about to get overrun and killed by the virus it will send out a warning to the other cells nearby and to the body. The white blood cells will come to the cell and start fighting the virus clones by consuming the virus clones. If the cell is beyond repairing the white blood cells will destroy the infected cell. Even nearby healthy cells that are close to the infected cells will actually destroy themselves to stop the spread.

This is simply amazing – all of this happening in the body and all we experience is a runny nose. The body does all it can to protect. All the cells within the body are all working together with the basic understanding that if one cell does not do its part, then it compromises all the other cells and the body as a whole. So a Cell will destroy itself to protect the body as a whole. It will do what is best for all.

Now imagine that these Cells were like humans. Acting in pure self-interest for example one day simply too lazy to fight a virus, or choosing to preserve itself instead of destroying itself to stop a spread of infection. We would be royally screwed. What if your heart decided it will only beat if you give it something in return? Or it is just not in the mood to beat? You will die.

We all need to be more like these Cells. This earth is one big organism and we humans are the cells. As you can see with the state of this organism we are slowly killing it with our greed and self-interest. We should look within ourselves at the effeteness of working together. Currently we are more like the virus, but we must learn to change and be more like OurCELLves.

Missing Life skills: Why do I have a fear of Insects?

 

I heard an interesting discussion on the radio today. The guy who talking is a Nature lover, but the problem he has is that he is absolutely terrified of spiders. He said that every time he sees a spider he actually freezes with fear and starts sweating.

He said that what he did to find the reason for this fear is go back to his childhood. When he was a kid he was playing around the lounge and fell asleep under a chair. He then had a nightmare of a spider coming down from the chair and sitting on his face. In the dream when this happened he went to fear and started sweating and since that day he was afraid of spiders.

This is the reason with most people. You will find that there is a memory from childhood where something happened with some sort of insect that was when the fear began. Allot of people don’t even know this and it could be a suppressed memory.

When I grew up I had a fear of moths. I knew it was a bit weird, but I had a big fear of moths. I could not be in the same room as a moth. I traced the fear back to a memory from childhood. I was in bed about to go to sleep and the room was dark, but I saw what looked like a massive moth flying around in my room. It only happened for a second – like seeing a shooting star – what seemed like a giant moth flying over the bed above my face. I totally freaked out and called my parents…well, more like screamed for them. They came in the room and turned on the light with worried and confused expressions asking me what. I told them what I saw, but I looked around the room and saw there was no giant moth.

I was so certain there was a giant moth, but clearly there wasn’t. Still, since that day I was very afraid of moths. I find this interesting, how a simple event in your early life no matter how small can affect your whole life. And the reason why it effected my life is because when the event happened I did not direct the situation, I was young and did not understand how these things work or how to direct myself.

So this is an example of how an event and how you react to that event can affect your life. This is why it is so important to learn how to become self-directed, so that when these events occur you can make sure it has no effect on who you are, right now we are not taught how to do these things and its an important life skill to have. To found out more go here