Day 62 - Love is Fear

 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that love is not the opposite of fear, but that it is exactly fear

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use love as a disguise for my fear so that i can live in ignorance - not realizing that I am living a life of fear

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when i say 'I Love You' i am actually saying 'i fear you' - that i fear that person leaving me and in saying i love you i am reaffirming my fear and making sure i do not lose the other person

I forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that when i say i love you to my children i create this fear within them and keep the fear cycle going and making sure they will always live a life of fear

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that Love is keeping me  from changing as it is fear  - and that in that fear of change i will use love to justify my actions and the world by saying all we need is love - not realizing that all the love in the world has not changed anything but that the world is getting worse all because we are fear

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that all I am is fear - that my parents taught me and kept me in line with fear - that all my actions and thoughts are based on fear - that the only reason christianity exists is because of fear and that all religion is based on fear - and that the world is based on fear to keep people ignorant.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see fear as normal and part of human nature and that because everybody fears is ok for me to have fear as well - not realizing that this is a limitation and another excuse not to face my fears and stop all fears

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I created love as the perfect excuse so that i can believe and feel as if im doing the right thing because it feels good and it is considered good to love and that to love is very easy  - all so that i do not have to face myself and my fears and that i do not have to do anything to change myself to change the world

I commit myself to see the evilness of love that all it is is fear

I commit myself to realize that i used love to disguise my fears so that i do not have to face them and myself

I commit myself to stop saying I love you as a point of fear of losing someone 

I commit myself to stop the cycle of abuse as fear and to stop fear within myself so that i do mot teach my children or others how to fear

I commit myself to not use fear as a form of control and to see that religion is used this way where fear is used as control

I commit myself to not accept the belief that fear as part of human nature and that it is normal - but to stop this excuse and limitation by facing my fears and stop them and become self directed and not love/fear directed

I commit myself to stop using love/fear as an excuse not to change but to instead walk the fear/love and walk right into the fires of the hell i created within me and the world to face all fears so that I can put out the fires/fears that keep me from becoming real