Whiplash Movie - What does it take to be the best?

How far is too far when pushing someone to reach their full potential? What are the consequences of trying to find the line? Is it self-righteous to push someone too hard...or is it an act of compassion? Or maybe it's something different all together? We explore some of these questions and many more as we dive into discussion about a Drummer who was pushed by his music teacher to play to the best of his abilities.

Brazil Doce River – What is Being done?

A dam burst that contained waste water from a Mining company destroying many homes and spilled into the River. It killed everything in the river – fish turtles etc. My question is What is being done about it?  Is fining The Company enough? Who can we prevent this?

It will take decades to reverse the damage Done to that river and the environment .

Day 327: No more water – The Personal Drought Experience

Being on a farm in the middle of a drought can be very frightening. You learn the real value of water and just how you depended are on it and how the environment depends on it. Within this all there is a personal experience of Doom and gloom – how to stop the gloom and doom?

Day 300 -Are any of our Actions Real?

What is it that drives us to say things we regret? How can we be in total control of our actions and behaviors?

Day 287 - The insanity of cat punching and why we all are to blame

 

A guy created a Facebook page dedicated to punching cats. What followed was people posting videos and photos of abusing poor animals and the internet going crazy demanding the page be removed. After a petition of about 20 000 people Facebook removed the page and few days afterwards another one emerged.

There are so many points happening here. First thing we need to ask is what kind of person would create a page about abusing animals and then also what kind of person would find this page a great place to post videos and photos of abusing animals for the whole world to see? It’s easy to sit there and judge such a person, but such disregard for life is something that you grow up with. Some peoples parents teach their kids this – or some parents simply do not teach their children about how to care for animals. So who is to blame? The guy? The guys parents? The guys parents parents? Society? Humanity?

We are all actually responsible for this; because it’s a symptom of a broken society we all live and participate in. Animals have always been regarded as less. Even god told mankind to have dominion over them. The amount of care we give animals and the planet and far far far less than we do for humans and that is a problem. We are all equals and we need to treat the animals with the respect hey deserve.

Why does it take 20 000 people to remove a page like this? Or more why do we only care about removing a page about animal abuse and not stopping animals abuse at its source? Why are we not outraged about all the atrocities currently existing in the world? Where is that anger when it comes to things like the fur industry? Where is that outrage when it comes to things like war or poverty?

Its only when its right in our face when we will start doing something. if somebody opens a fur factory in your backyard you will be outraged and stop it. Or if a war breaks out in your lounge you will probably want to really stop it. But when its far away where it doesn’t affect us we simply do not care.

Imagine – all abuse happening right now. Right now somebody is being robbed and killed or raped. Right now somebody is in great pain and suffering dying from hunger. Right now an animal is being skinned. There are some really bad shit happening right now and the problem is human nature. That needs to change. The world needs to change. WE need to change. I need to change. Time to change this world for the better – it starts with you and me.

Day 283: Having a Bad Day? The problem might be 'Thinking'...

Today I had what we call a ‘Bad day’. One those days where it goes on and on and on and where you wish you can simply skip the day and not have to live through it. I am now at the end of this so called ‘bad day’ and looking back it wasn’t actually a such ‘bad day’ and I made it far worse than it really was. So why did I create such a bad day for myself? What caused this?

It all started the day before, where I started to plan my day and already saw it’s going to be a full day of relatively hard work for me. Here I already created the experience of ‘ it’s going to be a looong day’. I planned the day ahead with time estimates and when I’m going to do what. My day started with an unfortunate event where I spent time tying off an area for the horses – it was unfortunate, because I tied of the wrong area and had to undo what I did. Here the first thing that came up was” SEE, I KNEW IT WAS GOING TO BE A BAD DAY!”. I brought the thought and idea I created the day before into this moment to validate it and make it real.

From that point on every little thing that went a little wrong irritated me more and more. The weather report said it was going to be nice and cool day, which would have made raking up a field for hay for the horses a bit easier. Instead it turned out to be a hot day. When we were done with the hay I was quite tired, but still had quite a few things on my schedule before this day was up. And I went through all those tasks with the experience of “ im having a bad day”.

The things that happened today are not something new. Many a time the weather changes, or I have to totally redo something or things don’t go as planned. What made this day so bad is that I already created and decided how I am going to face and experience this day before I went to bed. The problem was that I allowed one thought to direct my whole day and only now at the end of the day did I see this.

This is something I could have totally avoided if I simply directed that single thought. This is why it’s so important to slow yourself down and watch for these thoughts. How many thoughts do we have running around in our heads undirected? Very problematic when one single thought can affect my day to such an extent. – imagine what many thoughts can do? Teach yourself how to direct these thoughts and become the director of your life

Day 279- Why do we choose to create bad experiences???

 

Ever had the experience where you need to do something for the day and you don’t feel like doing it, but when the time comes to do it and your busy with it you find it’s not actually that bad? So why then did you think it’s going to be crappy and why did you not want to do it to begin with?

For example when I was in school and the teacher gave me homework. Throughout the day I would be like totally not looking forward to doing the homework. The more I would think about just how unpleasant it would be the more I would not want to do it and the more I postpone. Some days I would even simply not do it, and the next day I would cram it in quickly before class starts. Other days when I finally push through the resistance and just get to it I found it was actually not that bad. It was not as unpleasant as I thought it would be. So what made me think that it would be bad?

The problem comes with the thinking part. When you have something do to for the day we often start thinking about how it would be doing it – this is mostly based on past experiences. We think about times we did a similar thing before and where it was unpleasant or the bad experiences we had with particular task. For example homework – I would think about all the times I had to sit and struggle with homework and how time consuming it was and how it kept me from things I liked – I would take all of that and project it onto the homework that I need to do later that day.

Also thinking about it we already create the disdain and resistance towards the task ahead by linking it to past experiences. We already create the experience before we even get to the task. So looking at it it’s not the task that makes you not want to do it – you created the “bad” experience even before you started.

This is actually a very unnecessary experience, because we cannot know exactly what we will experience when doing the task that lies ahead of us. It will always be based on past events and assumptions formed from beliefs and ideas, but the fact remains – I will not know unless I actually do it.

Next time when there is something that you need to do, but don’t want to or feel like doing know this – by thinking about how bad it will be you actually create more resistance towards the task and create the bad experience you will have. This can be applied to anything you do. In the end the best thing to do is to stop the thoughts about how crappy it will be – stop creating the experience. Stop the thoughts and when the time comes to do this task simply do it. Stay out of your head be here and get it done and move on. Wouldn’t live be much simpler when we realize that we create how we experience ourselves…

Day 278: Be solution orientated – not problem orientated

 

The Other day I was facing a dilemma with some farm work. without going into details I had a particular problem where I could not find a solution and all I saw was problem after problem. So I explained the problems in detail to my partner and after every suggestion she gave me to get to a solution all I did was showing the problems with her suggestions. In the end I was complaining about the problems and became a little frustrated with all the problems. There is a saying “ complaining without giving solutions is called whining” - so at the end of it all I was doing was whining.

I was in a reaction at that point, because all I could see was problems. Then she said to me” Be solution orientated – not problem orientated”. And that stuck with me and I could see what I was doing. I was purely focusing on all the problems without actually looking at solutions. At that moment I was problem orientated and thus it is all I could see – problems. I took her advice started looking at solutions and then found something that worked.

It’s so easy to list the problems in our lives and continuously point them out and complain about them, but it’s a very different story to stop the whining and complaining and actually look for solutions to the problems. And in some cases there is not an Ideal solution which makes it easy to get stuck with all the problems, but being Solution Orientated will assist and support you to stop being blinded and consumed with the problems in your life and to find solutions.

Next time you find yourself in a situation where all you see is problems then you know “ I am being problem orientated”. In this state all you will see is problems and no solution will come out of this. Instead be Solution Orientated – this way you don’t allow the problems to keep you from getting to a solution.

Day 276: To Give up OR Give up on Giving up?

 

 

For the past few months my thyroid has been functioning normal. The cool thing is that it was functioning normal without me being on medication, so it was actually back to normal. It was a relief to me, because I could finally put it behind me. My Doctor did say it is something that I will have to monitor for the rest of my life – and when he said that, I create a slight undertone of worry within myself.

Now the whole process of my thyroid malfunctioning was not a very pleasant experience and it’s something I would not want to go through again, so knowing it could malfunction again I created That fear and worry in the back of my mind.

So about 2 or 3 months ago I started experiencing familiar experiences – like increased tiredness no matter how much sleep I get and general exhaustion even though I have no reason to feel this. My throat also became a bit sore, and all of this is basically the same symptoms I experienced last time. Basically it all pointed to my thyroid starting to malfunction again. The blood tests did show the levels were not correct and my thyroid was going hyper again.

This brought with it a bit of me feeling sorry for myself. I knew what to expect - the progression of symptoms – and really did not want this. There was a moment of self-pity as I looked at the road ahead of me and thought to myself it would be easier to simply give in to all these emotions coming up.

I looked at the process walked thus far and all the points I faced and saw that yes , it’s going to be crappy and yes, it’s not something I prefer doing, but that is not going to stop me from walking this point again. I did it before and thus proven to myself that I am able to walk this point. Within that I trusted I am able to do this. So I know that my thyroid might go hyper again – but it’s not something to be feared or be worried about.

When we are faced with difficulties in life there is not much we can do about the physical reality of the events, but we do have a choice how we will react to it. We can choose to feel sorry for ourselves and be overwhelmed and believe that we lack the strength to make it through and simply give up – or we can stop those thoughts and emotions and feelings that make us want to give up and then push through and face the point head on. It’s your life.

2015 Happy New year OR Crappy new year?

 

  Is it a Happy New Year? It really depends who you are and where you are and what you are. New Year’s is no special day for me, it’s simply another day, but let’s look at some stats regarding 2014:

· 1020 Rhino Poached in 2014, compared to 333 in 2010. Despite Millions thus far spent on charity organizations the number of rhinos poached tripled in 4 years. Not a Happy New Year ahead for them.

· Half the world still lives in poverty.

· Nearly 1 Billion people suffer from “chronic undernourishment “ aka hunger.

· 80% of the world population lives on less than $10 a day.

· An average of 3.5million people experienced homelessness in the U.S., despite the fact that there are enough empty housing for them all.

The tradition of wishing somebody a happy new year has many complications, sure we can want for other to have a good year, or maybe you are glad that you made it through another year, but for me a happy new year will be finding ways make the statistics above less.

How great would it be if humanity was able to completely eradicate poverty? Bring the amount of hungry people down to zero? Or even have the rhino poaching at a big round zero for a whole year? We certainly have the capacity and resources to do so. For example to put every child in the world through education all we need is 1% of the military budget of the U.S. We have the means to do so.

The Living Income Guaranteed will also be a solution for all the problems above. If it’s implemented it will bring the number of people in poverty down to zero. Money will no longer be a factor for whether or not a child gets an education . People will also have enough to actually live and buy the food they need. There will also be no more homeless people, because they would be able to afford a home.

That would make a truly Happy New Year.

Day 266: How to stick to this New Year’s Resolutions

 

 

It's that time of years again and many are in the tradition to every New Year write down things they would like to change about themselves and many don't manage to actually stick to them. Some would like to kick habits like smoking or biting nails, other might want to quit drinking or simply become a better person, maybe not be so angry or sad or stubborn.

Unfortunately it is not so easy to change oneself. It is very easy to say you are going to do it, but when it comes right to it – more often than not – we fall back into our same old patterns. That is what it actually is – patterns and behaviors that we created over time and seem to be stuck in it.

When changing something like for example biting nails – there is usually a reason why you started biting nails in the first place. You could be an anxious person and whenever the anxiety comes up you bite nails. So it’s important to first find the reason for the anxiety or frustration in order to stop the nail biting. We need to find the source of these habits and patterns we would like to change.

Once the source is found the next step is self –discipline and commitment. This is where most fall, because to stop a habit or pattern is not an easy thing, but if you are committed and have self-discipline to do what you said you will then you will be able to stick to the New Year’s resolutions you created.

Thing that come up while stopping habits is all kind of excuses and justifications – you will subconsciously try every sneaky thing to go back to the habit and not stick to stopping it. A cool way to look at this is when you make the decision to stop a habit – everything that comes up after you made the choice that will make you “fall of the wagon is simply an excuse or a justification. It could be a thought or a feeling and would make so much sense, but all it is is a trap.

To recap as to what you will require to actually sticking to your New year’s resolutions:

1. Make a list and make sure its practical.

2. Make the Decision and stand by it.

3. Find the source of the problem.

4. Don’t give into the thoughts and feelings that will make you go back to the habit.

5. Don’t give into the excuses and justifications.

6. Be self-disciplined and committed.

The best thing to do is not wait for every new year before making changes, but to realize that change can be made in every moment. For more info on changing self go here.

Day 251: "I Wish I Could just get Away from it all"

I’m sure many are feeling this or have felt like this in some point in their lives. There comes moments where you look at your life or the world and inside yourself scream for somebody or something to get you out of here – to take you away from your current situation to somewhere better. Where you hope and wish you could spread wings and just fly away – far away to a place where the grass is greener.
Today I found myself wishing for this when I was going through the latest news – a moment where I had thought to myself how great it would be to be able to get away from it all, to some paradise planet where all these terrible things do not exist. And at the same time I kind of chuckled, because even if it was possible for me to “get away from it all”, the terrible things will still exist. So even if am “away” from it I does not mean the bad things stop. I think the saying goes: “Out of sight, Out of Mind”.
After that I laughed, because it occurred to me that this is actually what we all are doing currently in the world. We only focus on our own lives, our own families, our own immediate environment and only deal with things that affect us directly – that in itself is a form of escapism, because we distance ourselves from all the bad things in this world. We shove it as far away as possible from our minds so that we do not have to worry about it: Children captured and trained to be soldiers? At least that is not happening here…
  We all live in our own safety bubbles. Unfortunately not everybody has a bubble that is safe. I am now 27 years old and have not yet seen any improvement with the state of world, despite the fact that Christianity is the top religion in the world. And I'm tired of waiting for it. time to break free from that bubble. The main problem is the bubble – we will only act if it affects us directly. Once we all realize that the earth is actually one big bubble and we are all in it – then we will see great change. Let’s make sure that solution comes sooner rather than later.

Day 248 - What if tomorrow did not come?

 

"Only put off until tomorrow what you are willing to die having left undone." - Pablo Picasso

This is quite the quote. In terms of procrastinating this is very powerful statement - sometimes people can say really cool things. There is one thing that most of us living here on earth do not really understand or even grasp and that is that since the moment you were born you are dying.

 

There is a limited time we have on this earth to do things. We only have this one life. Every day we only have 24 hours and after that it’s gone, can’t take it back or do it over again. Yet, we live though life thinking that we have a spare life in our pockets, but the fact is that we do not. How many times on life do we say “ I’ll do it later” or “ Maybe tomorrow will be better for it”. The thing is that one day tomorrow will not be there and then you look at your life and realize that you have wasted so much time on trivial things, always postponing things in your life.

How different would live be if you lived as if today is your last day, I don’t think there are many people who can truly say at the end of their lives that they lived it to their utmost potential. That they did everything they could with the time they had on earth. And that is actually sad, I know for myself that I do not want to be in a situation where I look back in my life in my last few days on earth and become overwhelmed with regret. And the thing is that it does not have to be this way.

Everyday should be like the only day you have on earth. When you wake up it should be like a new birthing of self – to use those 24 hours as effectively as you can and not put things of till tomorrow, because tomorrow might not be there. And when you go to sleep it should be like dying – in terms of letting go of the day. Letting go of the anger that someone caused you, the dislikes and stress. If you live with a partner to not go to sleep if you had issues during the day – sort them out, because tomorrow might not come. When you sleep you want to be clear within yourself.

Rinse and repeat.

Day 241 Nicky Minaj "Anaconda" - We all know it's a Penis...

 

 

Driving one morning early I took in my surroundings – Trees starting to bloom, green grass growing and the morning sun shining through some clouds on the horizon. It’s about time for the morning news on the radio so I turned it on and what I heard was:

“My anaconda don't, my anaconda don't
My anaconda don't want none unless you got buns, hun”…

I don’t keep track of what songs are popular these days, mostly because it can’t be classified as music really, but unfortunately I had the displeasure of hearing this whilst driving and waiting for the morning news.

For those who don’t know – the “song” is Nicki Minaj –Anaconda. This particular release has peaked at No. 2 on the US Billboard Hot 100, consequently becoming Minaj's highest charting single in the United States to date. To be clear here – That chorus is actually saying “my penis will not come near you unless you have a big butt”. That has reached no 2, as in the second most popular song when it came out. The music video basically focuses on Nicki’s butt as she shakes it and is filmed in every angle possible – this has reached over 100million views in 11 days.

What can you tell about a generation when you look at the most popular songs of today? My question is how a song like this can be played on radio? Why do we allow music with these lyrics to be played while children are listening? It is basically porn. The song is selling sex, its all about the profit. Sure he does not actually say “PENIS”, but we all know exactly what the song is about. This is starting to get out of hand, they taking it too far. The line has been crossed. Is not time we put a stop to all this? Time we realize how music influences a generation? Where is our dignity? Should we not consider what responsibilities lies with pop stars?

It would be far more beneficial if pop stars start singing about real things – things that can support those who listen to it – or at least not be about sex. Unfortunately that would decrease profits drastically. Seriously, if we do not change this it’s simply going to get crazier. Very soon pop starts won’t bother with euphuisms anymore and actually sing about having sex literally and it will be on radio for all hear and be the new hit single. I do not want to live in a world like that.

So to all the “stars” making “music” – Please stop. And to the children who listen to this – please stop. It’s time we find our dignity and stop allowing ourselves to be influenced for profit. Take charge in your life and do not be manipulated and told what you should like and should buy. Make your own choices. Make your Life REAL.

Here some more lyrics:

Oh my gosh, look at her butt
Oh my gosh, look at her butt
Oh my gosh, look at her butt
(Look at her butt)
Look at, look at, look at
Look, at her butt

Yeah, he love this fat ass, ha haha!
Yeah! This one is for my bitches with a fat ass in the f****g club
I said, where my fat ass big bitches in the club?
F**k the skinny bitches! F**k the skinny bitches in the club!
I wanna see all the big fat ass bitches in the muthaf***n' club
F**k you if you skinny bitches, what?! Kyuh
Ha ha, ha ha
I got a big fat ass (ass, ass, ass)
Come on!

Why you should NEVER Believe In Yourself...

 

 

Today I am going to write about the following principle:

Living the principle of self trust – as I commit myself to remain constant in my living of self honesty, self responsibility and self awareness, I stand as an unbending trust that I always in all ways know who I am no matter what I face and that in this I know, as proven in the constancy of my living that I will always honor and stand by what is best for all and so best for me.

Specifically Starting with: What is self-trust?

Has anyone ever told you to Believe in yourself? It is something I heard many times in my life. Through school they use this as self-motivating or to inspire people. “ Just Believe in yourself and you can achieve anything!!”. Today I am telling you stop listening to these people – I am telling you to NEVER believe in yourself. Here is why:

Let’s look at the definition of the word believe:

1.

accept that (something) is true, especially without proof.

The key words here: “especially without proof”. So to believe in yourself or to believe that you are able to something is a limited and ineffective method, because you do not actually know of you are able to do this particular task since there is no proof.

Let’s look at the definition of self-trust:

1.

Reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of (yourself).

Even simply reading that you see for yourself which is the most effective statement. So this is why you should never believe in yourself – instead you should trust yourself.

Self-trust is something that you build within yourself. Like when facing a new task that you have never done before you may be faced with doubt whether or not you are able to. The only way to find out is to actually do the task to the best of your ability. Once you have done the task you can now say that you are in fact able to this task and thus you have built on your self-trust. So next time you face this task you know for a fact you can do it, because you already did it. Another step further is that you can trust yourself when facing something new that you will give it your best.

So next time when someone tells you to just believe in yourself tell them: NO – I trust myself.

Day 226: Please! Stop with the Advertising!!!

 

 

It is everywhere – Ads have managed their way into almost every part of our daily lives. When I Was a kid the only Ads I saw was on TV. Most of my free time was spent playing outside so when we were young were not bombarded with the magnitude of Ads people see today.

We do not have a TV anymore, but I still see plenty ads everyday even though I live on a farm. When I turn on my radio in the car – There are Ads. As I drive through town – There are Ads. When I am on Facebook – there are Ads. When I look at news on the Internet – There are Ads. When I do a Google Search – There are Ads. When I download a free app for my phone – There are Ads. Checking emails – Spam Ads. Receiving SMS – Spam Ads.

It’s really getting out of hand. As a kid when I went to watch a movie on the big screen the only Ads they showed were future releases of movies. Now there are all kinds of Advertisements before the movie even starts. They are even Advertising in Schools! On School buses, in gymnasiums, on book covers, and even in bathroom stalls.

“School advertising also appears under the guise of educational TV: Channel One. Currently available in 12 000 schools, Channel One consists of 10 minutes of current-events programming and 2 minutes of commercials. Advertisers pay $200 000 for advertising time and the opportunity to target 40% of the nation's teenagers for 30 seconds.⁸⁹ According to a recent government report, Channel One now plays in 25% of the nation's middle and high schools⁸¹ and generates profits estimated at $100 million annually.^{89” - http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/118/6/2563.full}

Sneaky – Very Sneaky. Now a days when a child has the ability to hold a cellular device or tablet they are exposed to many, many advertisements. That’s children as young as 2 or 3 years old that are already being targeted al for companies to make profit. And Advertisements have become extremely effective over the years – you see it and you are like “YES – I NEED THAT”, but you did not need it before you watched the Ad.

The problem is that children and people are not educated on how Advertising works – How it plays the emotions and feelings and how it actually directs you to do what the ad tells you to. Before you can do that you need to understand how emotions and feelings direct you and to see how you are actually not the one who directs your life. How do you do that? Find out in my next blog.

Day 225: Do Celebs have responsibilities as Role Models?

 

 

"Children as young as nine are determined to get a tan this summer, a study has revealed.

The study of 1,000 youngsters, aged from nine to 16 years, found just under half believe getting a tan this summer is important to them with many using various tricks to maximise their sun exposure.

Not applying any sun cream, sitting out in the midday sun and applying baby oil were some of the methods adopted by image-conscious children in order to get a tan. Other tricks include rolling up the arms and legs of their school uniform, using a tan accelerator and wearing as few clothes as possible.

The study to highlight its summer skin cancer education campaign found a third of nine to 16-year-olds regularly sunbathe in their back garden and 14 per cent said they were likely to try and catch the rays in the school playing fields."

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2660119/Children-young-NINE-determined-tan-attempt-copy-bronzed-celebrities-lie-parents-wearing-sunscreen.html#ixzz34vV38xCE

This isn’t really something new. This is all about the perceived idea of what beauty is. This is what happens when Magazines and celebrities target a specific group of people like Teenagers. Advertisements are placed all to get people to buy their product. Children look up to these people and the corporations know this and found very effective ways to exploit it all to make money.

 

A tanned skin is in fact a burnt skin, but it is being advertised as being “good looking”. There are so many products out there to help with getting tanned – all because of the belief and perception of what beauty is. The problem is much bigger than just a sun tan.

 

Celebrities are seen by these teenagers as “Role Models”. That means that they look up to these people and want to be like them – unfortunately These “ Role Models” set a very bad example. Look at Miley for example – what does she stand for exactly? Sex and exploitation. Its Teenagers listening to her music and watching her and wanting to be like her – what sort of generation of people are going to come out of this? There many examples of “Celebrities” that set a very bad example and is in fact the exact opposite of a role model and its simply unacceptable. They are ruining people’s lives by influencing them all just for profit.

 

Being a role model comes with a great responsibility, because your actions have consequences that affect many people’s lives. It is time that “celebrities” understand this point and stop doing what they are doing only for profit. The funny about that is if they do stop they will not be making money anymore. Many blame the celebrities and the parents – the parents for not educating their children to stop worshipping fake people. All parties involved are Responsible – the “role models”, the companies behind them, the children being targeting and the parents of the children.

Right now there is not much you can do about the celebs and the companies profiteering, but parents and children can get to a point where they are no longer influenced by advertisements. To be able to be self-directed and not directed by anything outside yourself and to be able to see what is real and what is beliefs and ideas and perceptions. To understand why you are so easily manipulated is key to self-development. Find out how here

Day 219: If I change myself – Will the world change?

 

"'You cant change this world".

This is something that comes up with people when they see others dedicating their lives to world change. It is said that the world is just the way it is and nothing can be done make it difference. It has been blamed on many things like human nature – saying that it is in our nature to be greedy and uncaring. That the world is the way it is, because it’s our nature and that will never change. No one person can change this world. It is very easy to give up even before you started. It is very easy to simply say “ it is impossible “ just so that you do not actually have to do anything.

It is at least partially right – human nature is the problem. It is not our nature that is the problem, but it is what we have all accepted and allowed our nature to be. The question is then if you can change the nature of the human, which the nature of yourself, will the world change?

To find the answer first look at world as a whole – we have the usual things that are always there like war, famine, hunger, poverty. Now, the world is really a reflection of ourselves – let’s take war for example: War stems from things like anger, mistrust, bullying, ego and a lust for power. If we look within ourselves we will find all those things exist within us. All these terrible things that exist in this world had to come from somewhere – ourselves. It is human behavior on a larger scale.

Common sense here would dictate that if human nature/behavior was different then the world would be different as well. So yes – you change human nature you change the world. But can human nature/behavior be changed? Many believe it is impossible, but it’s not.

This is how you change the world – change yourself and live as an example and assist others to do the same. It is not an easy thing to walk and many give up or fade away. You can change who you are, because I have changed who I am. Since walking this journey I have changed allot of points within myself for the better. If I can do this so can you.

Day 215 - The Conflicts of Living together – House Cleaning

 

 

For some what I am going to write here might seem a little stereotypical, but it is not. This is based on real actual experiences and ALLOT of guys out there can relate and learn from this. Today I am going to write about the conflicts that come up when a couple move in and live together. Mostly I will write about my own experience here and hopefully guys out there can benefit.

The Main point that caused quite a bit of conflict when I first moved in with someone was cleaning. Now me being a typical male I do not care about cleanliness, I have no problem with a bit of mess. I have no issue with things lying all over the place in random spots. Now the opposite is true with most woman – In this case she likes a clean place, like things in a specific place and likes things to be cleaned and placed in a specific way. So here you can see why there will be conflict.

What do you do in this situation? What I did in the beginning and for quite some time was try to fight and defend my actions and behavior – like for instance me not being fazed with a house that is a bit out of order. Sometimes when I cleaned I was told I did not do a proper job, because there were a few dust particles and dirty spots not cleaned out properly or I did not use the right amount of cleaning liquid. Sometimes I would want to clean things my way and not the way she wants it done and I used to get very angry about this and frustrated, because I could not understand why she made such a big deal with things that really do not matter to me. You know small things. It was small insignificant things to me, but to her it was not.

As you can see – here we have a typical male living with a typical female. Typical in regards to cleanliness. And chances are good that you will find the same things happening when you live with someone.

Throughout History males saw themselves as superior to woman. Mostly because deep down we males know the opposite is true – that females are far more effective than males, but our male Egos could not cope with this. It’s not that females are superior, but they are definitely more effective. And so it the males job/duty to support females in whichever way we can. A simple example: if you are in a relationship then the female would be the water and the male the water pipe.

Then what is the solution to stop the conflict surrounding house cleanliness? That facts are that I did not care about how clean a house looks – it did not matter to me – but it did matter to her. So if it really doesn’t matter to me whether a house is clean or dirty then I might as well do what I can to keep it clean. That way she will be happy and thus I will be happy. So instead of wanting to clean things my way and place things my way I did it the way she wants it, because in the end it actually did not matter to me how I did it and the only reason to want it MY WAY was EGO and the conflict that came with it was simply not worth it. And what I found was most of the time her methods were more effective.

So changing my perspective took away a butt load of conflict which resulted in having some peace as well. You do not have to be like this guy cutting grass with scissors, but IF you are in a similar situation like I was you have to ask yourself a question - is it worth all this conflict just to want to do things your way? is it really such an effort to do household tasks the way she likes it? I mean - it is small things that really do not matter to you, but it means allot to her. Remember - if she is happy then you will be happy.

Day 212 - Can I Live without Frustration?

 

Anger, frustration and irritation – these fall into the same category, but they are all different. You can be frustrated, because you are irritated at the anger you experiencing. Today I am going to look specifically at the word Frustration. So what is frustration exactly? How do you get frustrated?

Simply put – frustration is when you have an expectation of how something should be and when it does not meet that expectation you become frustrated. So when you at it the cause of frustration is expectation.

Let’s say that today I am going to fix a tap that is a bit loose. The tap is attached to the sink and I see that the reason it is loose is because of a nut that is not tight. To fix this I would have to tighten the nut – I conclude that this task should be quick and simple. I get my spanner and go under the sink and encounter a big problem – my spanner cannot reach the nut, because there is no space to put my spanner. Since I do not have any other tool that can fit there I will have to use my hands.. So I use my hands only to find I cannot tighten the bolt enough by hand. By now I am getting frustrated, because the task is not simple or quick as I previously thought it would be.

The problem above is that I had an expectation before I started the task. We always have an expectation of how something should be, but reality is allot different from imagination. We cannot always see the outcome of something and having expectations you are setting yourself up for frustration.

Another example would be relationships. This a big one, because when entering a relationship you have expectations. Not only you, but the other person you are in relationship with also has expectations. So now you have 2 people with expectations and when they do not meet you get quite allot of frustration.

Frustration and expectation go hand in hand. To me more specific here – unrealistic expectations are the problem. When we look at something we use imagination and personal influences so when that meets reality we soon find out they are not the same. This physical reality is allot different from our mind/imagination.

So when you look at something like a simple repair job you can assess what the likely cause is and go about repairing it according to that, but sometimes you won’t see the whole picture and the tasks will be more difficult or take longer than you previously thought, but to get all frustrated will change nothing. The only thing frustration does is hurt you and sometimes it will hurt you physically – like trying to hammer in a stubborn nail while being frustrated at the nail will most likely cause you to hammer your thumb.

The most effective thing when you are doing something or about to do something is to let go of any and all expectations – you cannot know the full extent of the tasks ahead of you. You can prepare yourself as effectively as you are able yes, but expectations are useless.

All in all the key to get Rid of future frustrations is to let go of expectations.