Day 278: Be solution orientated – not problem orientated

 

The Other day I was facing a dilemma with some farm work. without going into details I had a particular problem where I could not find a solution and all I saw was problem after problem. So I explained the problems in detail to my partner and after every suggestion she gave me to get to a solution all I did was showing the problems with her suggestions. In the end I was complaining about the problems and became a little frustrated with all the problems. There is a saying “ complaining without giving solutions is called whining” - so at the end of it all I was doing was whining.

I was in a reaction at that point, because all I could see was problems. Then she said to me” Be solution orientated – not problem orientated”. And that stuck with me and I could see what I was doing. I was purely focusing on all the problems without actually looking at solutions. At that moment I was problem orientated and thus it is all I could see – problems. I took her advice started looking at solutions and then found something that worked.

It’s so easy to list the problems in our lives and continuously point them out and complain about them, but it’s a very different story to stop the whining and complaining and actually look for solutions to the problems. And in some cases there is not an Ideal solution which makes it easy to get stuck with all the problems, but being Solution Orientated will assist and support you to stop being blinded and consumed with the problems in your life and to find solutions.

Next time you find yourself in a situation where all you see is problems then you know “ I am being problem orientated”. In this state all you will see is problems and no solution will come out of this. Instead be Solution Orientated – this way you don’t allow the problems to keep you from getting to a solution.

The fear of the unknown – Why it’s pointless and How to Stop it

 

Today someone asked me a question: “How to relax in the face of the unknown?”

There are many who have faced this point or who are currently facing it. When you look at the road ahead and you have no idea where it will lead or the things you will face. When you Look at the future and become overwhelmed with fear and uncertainty. What is there to do?

I have faced this I my life. Where I am constantly anxious, because I do not know what will happen in the future. There are so many things that could go wrong with a particular choice and where I have no idea what to expect. In this case I walk around with that fear, the fear of the unknown.

The problem is that nobody knows what the future holds. You do not know what tomorrow brings, so then a fear is created along with a constant worrying. But if you really look at it, it’s kind of silly living with this fear and worry. There is saying: “Worrying is being in a rocking chair, it feels like you are moving, but you’re getting nowhere. This is true, because worrying about something has absolutely no practical use – it doesn’t benefit anything or anyone.

The way I dealt with this was looking at my past. What I found the core point to be was a lack of self-trust, because if I did trust myself that I am able to face whatever comes my way then there is really nothing to be worried about.

Thus far in my life I have faced many points within myself, from anger, jealousy depression etc. and I have learned allot about myself and the power I have – we all have - to direct ourselves. And although when these points first came up and I had no idea if I will be able to move past it and doubted myself at first, I eventually did make it through. It took time yes, but in the end thus far in my life whatever happened in my life I was able to push through it and come out the other side I little stronger.

Within all this self-trust was developed. IM not saying that I have completely abolished all fear and worries of the future, it is still a process and sometimes I feel that anxiety come up, but I have found a way to stop it. And even though I have no idea what the future will hold I know one thing – that I will be able to face it head on no matter what.

Day 220: The Desteni of Living - My Declaration of Principle

 

I  commit myself to live the following Principles. I Will in blogs to come go into more detail with the points below:

 

1. Realising and living my utmost potential

2. Living by the principle of what is best for all – guiding me in thought, word and deed to always in all ways direct problems to the best possible outcome for all

3. Living by the principle of self honesty – to ensure I am pure in thought, word and deed: that my within and without is equal and one. Who I am within is who I am without and vice-versa

4. Self Purification through Writing, Self Forgiveness and Self Application – the action of realising I am responsible for my own thoughts, words and deeds, to forgive myself for transgressions and change myself to ensure I take responsibility for who, what and how I am and through this know that I can trust myself to always be honest with me and so others

5. Living the principle of Self Responsibility – realising only I am responsible for what I accept and allow inside of me, my relationships and my outside world and so with this responsibility: only I have the power and ability to change that which I see is compromising who I am, what I live and how this affects others

6. Realising that who I am in thought, word and deed affects not only myself – but others as well and so with Self Responsibility in thought, word and deed – I take responsibility for myself and so my relationships to be Self Aware in every moment and live in such a way that is best for me and so others as well

7. Living the Principle of Self Awareness – to be aware, to see, to recognize my own thoughts and Mind, to be self honest to the extent where I can take responsibility for when I see my thoughts / Mind is not what is best for me / others and commit to immediately take responsibility and change for myself and so for others

8. With taking responsibility for myself, becoming aware of myself – take responsibility and become aware of others in my life, to assist and support them as I am assisting and supporting myself – to give as you would like to receive and do the extra bit every day to see where I can contribute to other’s lives and so my own

9. Living the principle of self trust – as I commit myself to remain constant in my living of self honesty, self responsibility and self awareness, I stand as an unbending trust that I always in all ways know who I am no matter what I face and that in this I know, as proven in the constancy of my living that I will always honour and stand by what is best for all and so best for me

10. Making Love Visible – through me not accepting/allowing anything less than my utmost potential, I support those in my life to reach their utmost potential, to love them as I have shown love to myself by gifting to me my utmost potential, the best life/living experience and show others as I have shown myself what it means to LIVE

11. No one can save you, save yourself – the realisation that the tools and principles of Desteni is the guide, but I must walk the path myself. We are here to assist and support each other in this process from Consciousness to Awareness/LIFE and what it means to live – but the process itself, where you are alone with yourself in your own Mind: is walked alone

12. Not waiting for anything or anyone to take responsibility for me and this world – but that I realise I have created who and how I am in this moment, therefore I have the responsibility to change who and how I am and so the realisation that we as a collective created how and what this world is today and so it is the responsibility of the collective to change how and what this world is today

13. Honouring the life in each person, animal – everything from the great to the small of earth, that we expand our awareness and responsibility to creating the best possible life for everyone and everything and so ourselves

14. Relationships as Agreements: individuals coming together using agreements as a platform to one-on-one expand, grow and develop as individuals in life and living to support/assist each other unconditionally to reach their utmost potential where the agreement is a coming together of individuals understanding what it means to stand as equals and to stand as one

15. Sex as Self Expression – where sex is an united expression between individuals in honour, respect, consideration and regard of each other as equals, two physical bodies uniting in equality and oneness – a merging of two equals as one physically.

16. Realising that by the virtue of me being in this world – my responsibility does not only extend to my own Mind / my own Life, but to the minds and lives of everything and everyone of this earth and so my commitment is to extend this awareness to all of humanity to work together and live together to make this world heaven on earth for ourselves and the generations to come

17. I must in my thoughts, words and deeds – but most importantly in my living actions, become a living example for others in my world that is noticeable and visible when it comes to the potential of a person to change themselves and so change their world. So that more people can realise how we can change this world, by standing united in our self change within the principle of what is best for all to bring heaven to earth

18. I am the change I want to see in me and my world – to bring heaven to earth is to bring into being, into living the LIVING PROOF of a PRACTICAL HEAVEN that can be seen and heard in our actions and words. We are the Living Heaven that must come into creation in this living world.

19. Through purifying my thoughts, words and deeds – my inner becomes my outer, so I bring into creation me as heaven into earth, realising it is not enough to ‘see the change / be the change’ – for change to become REAL it must be a constant, consistent living of me through the words I speak and the actions I live visible and noticeable to all in every moment of breath

20. Realising that my physical body is my temple – my physical body is the living flesh through which and in which I will bring into being and create / manifest heaven on earth as me in my thoughts, words and deeds and so I honour, respect and regard – nurture and support my physical body as I would nurture and support me as equals: my body is me

21. We are the change in ourselves and this world we have been waiting for: and so I commit to dedicate myself and my life for each one as all to realise this, as nothing will change if we don’t change in all that we are, within and without

22. The realisation that for me to be able to change myself in thought, word and deed to the most effective living being that I can be and become – I first have to ‘know thyself’ and so commit myself to investigate, introspect and understand how I became who I am today, to prepare the road before me into self creation of a responsible, aware, self honest and trustworthy person for myself and so for all

23. The realisation that for me to be able to contribute to change in this world – I have to get to ‘know thyself’ as this world and so commit myself to research, investigate and introspect the inner and outer workings of this world and align the systems of today to present and give the best possible life for all on Earth - See more at: http://activistsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2014/05/day-532-desteni-of-living-my.html#sthash.TuesIhU2.dpuf

Day 219: If I change myself – Will the world change?

 

"'You cant change this world".

This is something that comes up with people when they see others dedicating their lives to world change. It is said that the world is just the way it is and nothing can be done make it difference. It has been blamed on many things like human nature – saying that it is in our nature to be greedy and uncaring. That the world is the way it is, because it’s our nature and that will never change. No one person can change this world. It is very easy to give up even before you started. It is very easy to simply say “ it is impossible “ just so that you do not actually have to do anything.

It is at least partially right – human nature is the problem. It is not our nature that is the problem, but it is what we have all accepted and allowed our nature to be. The question is then if you can change the nature of the human, which the nature of yourself, will the world change?

To find the answer first look at world as a whole – we have the usual things that are always there like war, famine, hunger, poverty. Now, the world is really a reflection of ourselves – let’s take war for example: War stems from things like anger, mistrust, bullying, ego and a lust for power. If we look within ourselves we will find all those things exist within us. All these terrible things that exist in this world had to come from somewhere – ourselves. It is human behavior on a larger scale.

Common sense here would dictate that if human nature/behavior was different then the world would be different as well. So yes – you change human nature you change the world. But can human nature/behavior be changed? Many believe it is impossible, but it’s not.

This is how you change the world – change yourself and live as an example and assist others to do the same. It is not an easy thing to walk and many give up or fade away. You can change who you are, because I have changed who I am. Since walking this journey I have changed allot of points within myself for the better. If I can do this so can you.

Day 209: How the hell did it get there???

 

IN a vlog I did a while back I spoke about being grateful for the food on your plate. Not to be confused with being grateful for some powerful higher being providing the food, no, but to have a look at each piece of food on your plate and see how it got there. The whole process from the earth to your plate, the labor involved, the packaging everything. You will start to see it is a massive process to get food to your plate as well as great suffering for the animal that had to die so that we may live.

Another cool experiment is to have a look at how that screen you are staring at came to be in your possession. From drilling for the oil to process it for the plastic to mining for the metals and whatever other materials goes into the thing. What about the road you drive on? Do you know what kind of work goes into building a road? It is a massive project and a lot of labor went into it – people worked hard on that particular road.

Even the building you live in – have a look at the whole structure and see what had to happen for that structure to be built. From digging the trenches for the foundations to melting metal for the nails and tools to put it  all together. Not to mention all the piping and draining systems and the electrical systems. People built that building.

I live on a farm and when we first got here it was not in ideal condition. Over the years we did a lot of fixing, building, planting and what not and it was a lot of work. I look around the farm at each fence pole and see the process that was involved in planting it in the ground, because I did the work. I look at the trees and I see what it took for that tree to be there, I planted it. I look at all the things we did over the years and truly appreciate what we have done, because I know what was involved.

So you cannot truly appreciate the building you live in or the cup that holds your coffee, because you do not understand what was involved in creating it. Once I looked at objects and saw what it took for that thing to get where it is I started to have some appreciation towards these things and the people who made it.

Give it a Go.

WTF is Self-support part 2

 

IN my previous blog I wrote about Support and always looking for it from others which lead to the conclusion that if I constantly want others to support me then i do not support myself. So here follows steps for Self-support:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always look for support from other people – always outside of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always want to be supported by others before I can make a decision not realizing that this lead to me being indecisive and not able to direct myself in certain situations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to depend on support from others to such a extend that I could not always stand on my own without support from others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within relationships want support to be the primary deciding factor whether or not I continue with a relationship and if I do not get support to move on.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that If I constantly look for support from others it is an indication that I do not support myself.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to support myself and to believe that I can only obtain support from others outside myself and not from myself as Self-support.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear self-support, because it is easier to get others to support who I can always fall back to when mistakes are made, whereas with Self-support mistakes are on me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am unable to support myself, because It is something I have not fully lived yet, instead of realizing that just because I have not done it before effectively yet does not mean I am unable to.

I commit myself to stop the belief that support can only be obtained from others/outside myself.

I commit myself to support myself – to live Self support

I commit myself to stop depending on others and to support myself with decisions

I commit myself to stop wanting/looking support only from others and to instead support myself first and when I face a point where I require assistance I ask for support.

WTF is Self support and Why is it Important?

 

Today I am starting a Mini-Series specifically about Self-support. This point has been a recurring point that came up a lot in my life and revealed in many ways. And as I go deeper into this point new dimensions open up and I discover many new layers in regards to self-support.

Now, I have written a few blogs on Self-support and every time there is something new that comes up and that is cool, because with every layer I learn something new about myself.

What I can see now is that I have lived my life wanting support from others. Be It from my family or friends – I wanted to be supported in all aspects of my life. I am sure many live like this – always looking for support, but unwilling support yourself.

If I look back to my relationships I had in the past with girlfriends the primary point I looked for was support – I wanted support. And when the relationship ended I would look for it elsewhere. I never once considered that the fact I was look for support from others was an indication that I was not supporting myself, and because I was not supporting myself it influenced every decision I ever made. I wrote a blog about indecision and the lack of self-support is directly related to it.

I could not make decisions without help/support from others. Without a clear confirmation I always struggled with making choices. It was easier to get others to help me with making choices, because then there is no uncertainty and always someone to fall back to when the choice was a mistake.

And so I lived like this my whole life – always looking for support from other people and never being the directive principle in my life. This not only lead to me struggling to make decisions, but also unable to stand on my own – lacking inner strength and feeling inadequate all the time.

Since working on this point I have definitely changed. I realized that I must be willing, able to support myself – I must be able to stand on my own and be the directive principle in my life. To make choices on my own and not be afraid of making mistakes, but to learn from my mistakes. This particular process I have walked for a long time – to actually, practically live Self-Support.

In my Next blog I will continue this.

Day 189 - Why Speaking is so Difficult – The Silent Type

 

Thus far I have covered preferring to be alone, not being good with people and not being able to communicate effectively which are some of the dimensions behind a typical silent type character. Today I am going to write about speaking.

I have never been able to use words effectively to express myself. I could not say how I felt, because the words simply did not come to me in way that can explain it exactly. So I decided to not speak allot, because I felt it was a waste of time. What I did not realize back then is that the reason why the words did not come was because I did not have the words – I did not have the vocabulary. It is fascinating how such a decision greatly affected my life. If I realized the importance of vocabulary in my school days I would have done better at school. Instead I compromised myself and developed a personality and defined myself as being the strong silent type. A wonderful justification and excuse.

Looking at this whole situation I see now that being the silent type was not “just who I am”, it was a choice I made based on my fears and not having the tools to communicate effectively. I was not born this way – it was a choice and now I choose to rather be effective with communication. Now to go venture forth on my journey. Without an effective vocabulary I cannot be specific with words. I did not understand the importance of vocabulary back then. In School they say it is important to read – good advice I ignored.

The first step in effective communication is developing your vocabulary in order to use words effectively so that is what I am going to do – learn, understand and apply new words. Interesting point here is with me being a musician and writing songs I always had great difficulty writing lyrics for my music and that is because I did not have an effective vocabulary. If I had an effective vocabulary writing would be easier.

A very useful phrase I have learnt is that knowledge is useless without application. The next step is to place myself in situations where I use words and speak to explain things. This will assist me to communicate effectively and support me to get over that uncomfortable/nervousness I have whenever I explain things. A simple thing to do here would be to start doing Vlogs so that is what I will do – push through the resistances and make videos until speaking effectively is as natural as breathing.

Speak, king, quest, journey, video, vlog, support, DIY, directive, practical, loner, silent type, personality, Desteni