Day 288: Family – Why this desire will destroy your life

 

This is so deep rooted within most – the desire to have a family. How many women and men out there dream about their perfect wedding from a young age? Why would this desire be the end of you? What makes this particular desire so dangerous?

One on my favorite Comedy TV shows is Scrubs . One of the characters ( Elliot) is your stereotypical girly girl. Ever since she was a kid she had dreamed of her perfect wedding and already had a book dedicated to wedding plans in case she ever gets a proposal. In one of the episodes she is engaged to a guy and having doubts whether she should marry this guy or not and asked advice from her friends. At one point a guy asks her a very important question: “Do you really want to marry this guy, or do you just want to be married?”

She had this desire to be married from a very young age as most people do. It’s something that’s ingrained from a young age – the purpose of life is to get educated to get a job to have money to raise a family and then die. So Elliot realized that she does not actually want to marry this guy – but that she just wanted to be married. It was not about the guy at all – only the idea of being married.

Just like the desire for relationships – it becomes all about the desire to be with someone no matter who it is. The same is for the Desire for family – it doesn’t matter who it is really it’s not about the actual person you are with but more just the idea of being married. And so many people compromise themselves and their lives just for the sake of fulfilling this desire. The desire takes over and all common sense and what is practical and all sense of living principles goes out of the window. It all becomes about the desire. What makes this so difficult for people to see is that we find any excuse or justification to make our desires a reality and in the end we are completely controlled by it.

Again – this is not real. Would you not rather be in a relationship that is supportive and not based on a need or desire? IF your starting point is desiring a relationship then all you have is a relationship with the desire. I will end with this from my previous blog and continue with it in the next:

A real relationship has nothing to do with fulfillment or desire – it’s taking responsibility for another being and supporting them to be the best they can be. Now, what does that mean exactly? Let us see the answer in the next blog

Day 282: Your Journey to Self-Empowerment:

 

I’m pretty sure if you are asked if you would like to empower yourself the answer will be a very definite YES! I mean, who would not want self-empowerment? The funny thing is though that we tend to not realize what Self-empowerment means, we do not understand the most important part of this which is not the “empowerment”, but the SELF.

For me I would say that empowering yourself is probably one of the most difficult things you will face, because empowering yourself means changing yourself. It’s not like you will have somebody else doing it for you – it’s going against who you think you are and what you believe you can and cannot do. It’s a tough road, but when you get to the other side it is well worth it.

One example I can give is that many years ago I was the very definition of the word lazy. With anything that remotely resembles work was met with a large amount of reluctance from me. I disliked work and always whenever possible did the bare minimum to get the task done. This all changed when I started this process of self-empowerment and self-discovery.

For those who were or are lucky enough to live on a farm will know one thing – There is always allot of work to be done. So when we first got the farm we started with the planning. Fences needed to be replaced, trees needed to be planted, horse grazing areas needed to be prepared so it’s safe etc. So as we were planning the usual resistance I faced when seeing work to be done grew as per usual. I really did not want to do it lol. Not just that – I had no idea how to do the stuff, I have never done it before so I was clueless on how to do this.

At that point I faced a choice – do what I usually do and give in to the resistance and stay the same lazy person as I always have been, or make the choice to change myself and not allow my reluctance and resistance to work direct me. And I simply made chose the latter.

That was the easy part – even though it took me most of my life to get to that choice. What I found is that it’s an everyday commitment I make to myself. Change happened over time, its take patience and dedication and consistency. The more I pushed through the resistance to ‘work’ and instead did what needed to be done it became easier over time.

Sure at times I really did not feel like it, but that is where decline comes in and the understanding of the importance of what I was doing. In the end it became like an understanding. I understood the need for what I was doing. For example replacing old rusted barbed wired fencing with new animal safe fencing. It eventually did not even become “work”, but more something that needed to be done and so I did it.

This Journey is not easy, but if I back then did not make the choice to change I would have probably still be the same lazy person as I have always been going through life a slave to my resistance, instead I chose to empower myself.

Thanks for reading

2015 Happy New year OR Crappy new year?

 

  Is it a Happy New Year? It really depends who you are and where you are and what you are. New Year’s is no special day for me, it’s simply another day, but let’s look at some stats regarding 2014:

· 1020 Rhino Poached in 2014, compared to 333 in 2010. Despite Millions thus far spent on charity organizations the number of rhinos poached tripled in 4 years. Not a Happy New Year ahead for them.

· Half the world still lives in poverty.

· Nearly 1 Billion people suffer from “chronic undernourishment “ aka hunger.

· 80% of the world population lives on less than $10 a day.

· An average of 3.5million people experienced homelessness in the U.S., despite the fact that there are enough empty housing for them all.

The tradition of wishing somebody a happy new year has many complications, sure we can want for other to have a good year, or maybe you are glad that you made it through another year, but for me a happy new year will be finding ways make the statistics above less.

How great would it be if humanity was able to completely eradicate poverty? Bring the amount of hungry people down to zero? Or even have the rhino poaching at a big round zero for a whole year? We certainly have the capacity and resources to do so. For example to put every child in the world through education all we need is 1% of the military budget of the U.S. We have the means to do so.

The Living Income Guaranteed will also be a solution for all the problems above. If it’s implemented it will bring the number of people in poverty down to zero. Money will no longer be a factor for whether or not a child gets an education . People will also have enough to actually live and buy the food they need. There will also be no more homeless people, because they would be able to afford a home.

That would make a truly Happy New Year.

WTF is Self support and Why is it Important?

 

Today I am starting a Mini-Series specifically about Self-support. This point has been a recurring point that came up a lot in my life and revealed in many ways. And as I go deeper into this point new dimensions open up and I discover many new layers in regards to self-support.

Now, I have written a few blogs on Self-support and every time there is something new that comes up and that is cool, because with every layer I learn something new about myself.

What I can see now is that I have lived my life wanting support from others. Be It from my family or friends – I wanted to be supported in all aspects of my life. I am sure many live like this – always looking for support, but unwilling support yourself.

If I look back to my relationships I had in the past with girlfriends the primary point I looked for was support – I wanted support. And when the relationship ended I would look for it elsewhere. I never once considered that the fact I was look for support from others was an indication that I was not supporting myself, and because I was not supporting myself it influenced every decision I ever made. I wrote a blog about indecision and the lack of self-support is directly related to it.

I could not make decisions without help/support from others. Without a clear confirmation I always struggled with making choices. It was easier to get others to help me with making choices, because then there is no uncertainty and always someone to fall back to when the choice was a mistake.

And so I lived like this my whole life – always looking for support from other people and never being the directive principle in my life. This not only lead to me struggling to make decisions, but also unable to stand on my own – lacking inner strength and feeling inadequate all the time.

Since working on this point I have definitely changed. I realized that I must be willing, able to support myself – I must be able to stand on my own and be the directive principle in my life. To make choices on my own and not be afraid of making mistakes, but to learn from my mistakes. This particular process I have walked for a long time – to actually, practically live Self-Support.

In my Next blog I will continue this.