Day 282: Your Journey to Self-Empowerment:

 

I’m pretty sure if you are asked if you would like to empower yourself the answer will be a very definite YES! I mean, who would not want self-empowerment? The funny thing is though that we tend to not realize what Self-empowerment means, we do not understand the most important part of this which is not the “empowerment”, but the SELF.

For me I would say that empowering yourself is probably one of the most difficult things you will face, because empowering yourself means changing yourself. It’s not like you will have somebody else doing it for you – it’s going against who you think you are and what you believe you can and cannot do. It’s a tough road, but when you get to the other side it is well worth it.

One example I can give is that many years ago I was the very definition of the word lazy. With anything that remotely resembles work was met with a large amount of reluctance from me. I disliked work and always whenever possible did the bare minimum to get the task done. This all changed when I started this process of self-empowerment and self-discovery.

For those who were or are lucky enough to live on a farm will know one thing – There is always allot of work to be done. So when we first got the farm we started with the planning. Fences needed to be replaced, trees needed to be planted, horse grazing areas needed to be prepared so it’s safe etc. So as we were planning the usual resistance I faced when seeing work to be done grew as per usual. I really did not want to do it lol. Not just that – I had no idea how to do the stuff, I have never done it before so I was clueless on how to do this.

At that point I faced a choice – do what I usually do and give in to the resistance and stay the same lazy person as I always have been, or make the choice to change myself and not allow my reluctance and resistance to work direct me. And I simply made chose the latter.

That was the easy part – even though it took me most of my life to get to that choice. What I found is that it’s an everyday commitment I make to myself. Change happened over time, its take patience and dedication and consistency. The more I pushed through the resistance to ‘work’ and instead did what needed to be done it became easier over time.

Sure at times I really did not feel like it, but that is where decline comes in and the understanding of the importance of what I was doing. In the end it became like an understanding. I understood the need for what I was doing. For example replacing old rusted barbed wired fencing with new animal safe fencing. It eventually did not even become “work”, but more something that needed to be done and so I did it.

This Journey is not easy, but if I back then did not make the choice to change I would have probably still be the same lazy person as I have always been going through life a slave to my resistance, instead I chose to empower myself.

Thanks for reading

Day 266: How to stick to this New Year’s Resolutions

 

 

It's that time of years again and many are in the tradition to every New Year write down things they would like to change about themselves and many don't manage to actually stick to them. Some would like to kick habits like smoking or biting nails, other might want to quit drinking or simply become a better person, maybe not be so angry or sad or stubborn.

Unfortunately it is not so easy to change oneself. It is very easy to say you are going to do it, but when it comes right to it – more often than not – we fall back into our same old patterns. That is what it actually is – patterns and behaviors that we created over time and seem to be stuck in it.

When changing something like for example biting nails – there is usually a reason why you started biting nails in the first place. You could be an anxious person and whenever the anxiety comes up you bite nails. So it’s important to first find the reason for the anxiety or frustration in order to stop the nail biting. We need to find the source of these habits and patterns we would like to change.

Once the source is found the next step is self –discipline and commitment. This is where most fall, because to stop a habit or pattern is not an easy thing, but if you are committed and have self-discipline to do what you said you will then you will be able to stick to the New Year’s resolutions you created.

Thing that come up while stopping habits is all kind of excuses and justifications – you will subconsciously try every sneaky thing to go back to the habit and not stick to stopping it. A cool way to look at this is when you make the decision to stop a habit – everything that comes up after you made the choice that will make you “fall of the wagon is simply an excuse or a justification. It could be a thought or a feeling and would make so much sense, but all it is is a trap.

To recap as to what you will require to actually sticking to your New year’s resolutions:

1. Make a list and make sure its practical.

2. Make the Decision and stand by it.

3. Find the source of the problem.

4. Don’t give into the thoughts and feelings that will make you go back to the habit.

5. Don’t give into the excuses and justifications.

6. Be self-disciplined and committed.

The best thing to do is not wait for every new year before making changes, but to realize that change can be made in every moment. For more info on changing self go here.

Day 254 -What behavior do you dislike about yourself? How can you change that?

 

 

I found myself in a particular pattern I did not take note of before. What kind of behavior do you go into when you have a task to complete but very limited time? The particular task you are working on you have no idea how to do so first you have to research it and test it out before you can finish it. With me what comes up is stress and frustration and then generally very unpleasant to be around with.

The thing is that it does not have to be this way. Reacting towards events in your life like I did is not supportive and it’s unnecessary. Sure when you run out of time and see you cannot finish the task in time you generally have stress, but when you look at the whole situation the stress does not contribute to anything. It does not make the time go slower and it does not magically make everything work out so that you can do the tasks. All it does is leave you feeling like shit.

The fact is that regardless of how I feel about it – the end result is the same. There was simply not enough time to finish the task and looking back I did the best I could and that is all there is to it. I cannot change the time flow, I cannot make time go slower – so what is really the point of going into stress and frustration? If anything what it does is cloud your judgment making you ineffective, because you are reacting to a situation instead of directing it.

What I have found is that it’s a pattern I have a created, almost like a habit. Whenever this happens then that happens. If I am in a situation of needing a task completed with not enough time means I must go into stress and frustration. So what I have done now is worked in stopping that pattern: When I find myself in a situation where there is limited time to do a certain task – I stop the reaction. I stop the frustration and stress and breath and be here in the moment.

This tool can be applied in many situations in life. If you have a pattern/habit that you would like to stop you need to write a new script for yourself that you can replace the current behavior. If you do not change the pattern then it will simply continue for the rest of your life – I Do no not want to live with this particular pattern anymore so I choose to stop it.

Have a look in your life and see where you live out patterns/habits/behaviors and know that you do have the power to stop and change yourself.

Journey to life day 20 - Jealousy

I Forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be jealous of someone

I Forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to want what they have

I Forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as less than those who have what i want

I Forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself

I Forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to through fear want to bring those down who have what i don't have - because if i cant have it nobody can

I Forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I cannot give myself the qualities i see in others

I commit myself to stop being nasty just to bring people down because i see myself as inferior

I commit myself to desiring what others have

I commit myself to see that i have separated myself from others by desiring

I commit myself to give myself the qualities i see in others