Day 254 -What behavior do you dislike about yourself? How can you change that?

 

 

I found myself in a particular pattern I did not take note of before. What kind of behavior do you go into when you have a task to complete but very limited time? The particular task you are working on you have no idea how to do so first you have to research it and test it out before you can finish it. With me what comes up is stress and frustration and then generally very unpleasant to be around with.

The thing is that it does not have to be this way. Reacting towards events in your life like I did is not supportive and it’s unnecessary. Sure when you run out of time and see you cannot finish the task in time you generally have stress, but when you look at the whole situation the stress does not contribute to anything. It does not make the time go slower and it does not magically make everything work out so that you can do the tasks. All it does is leave you feeling like shit.

The fact is that regardless of how I feel about it – the end result is the same. There was simply not enough time to finish the task and looking back I did the best I could and that is all there is to it. I cannot change the time flow, I cannot make time go slower – so what is really the point of going into stress and frustration? If anything what it does is cloud your judgment making you ineffective, because you are reacting to a situation instead of directing it.

What I have found is that it’s a pattern I have a created, almost like a habit. Whenever this happens then that happens. If I am in a situation of needing a task completed with not enough time means I must go into stress and frustration. So what I have done now is worked in stopping that pattern: When I find myself in a situation where there is limited time to do a certain task – I stop the reaction. I stop the frustration and stress and breath and be here in the moment.

This tool can be applied in many situations in life. If you have a pattern/habit that you would like to stop you need to write a new script for yourself that you can replace the current behavior. If you do not change the pattern then it will simply continue for the rest of your life – I Do no not want to live with this particular pattern anymore so I choose to stop it.

Have a look in your life and see where you live out patterns/habits/behaviors and know that you do have the power to stop and change yourself.

When Habits are all you are

 

I did vlog touching on this point and today I am going to explain it a bit more. I am letting go of being the “silent type” by speaking more and doing vlogs helped with that. When I took a break from the vlogs I noticed that I fell back into that pattern/habit of being a silent type. So what I realized is that all these characters we create within ourselves – the angry type, sad type, irritated, mean, spiteful – all these characters are actually habits.

These habits become part of who we are and we define ourselves by it. This is one of the reasons why change is so difficult, because you are stopping a habit. And it is very easy to fall back into the habit than to stop it. Thus far I have made progress – I do not mumble anymore and I make sure my words are clear although there are times when it is not clear.

This can applied to any self-change. You decide to stop the particular pattern/habit like getting angry easily or being very judgmental. There is resistance that comes up within you when you stop a habit and that is because you are busy changing yourself – you are stopping something that you have lived for a long time and made part of who you are. It takes time, but the important thing here is to not give in/give up. It is very easy to fall back in the habit/pattern , because that is how you have lived. To change it means living something new – something you have not yet lived. It is a self-directive decision to stop habits.

Now the question is of everything of who you are what is a habit/pattern and what is something you direct? Is everything you do a self-directive action or are you simply following a design? Why do we allow ourselves to be directed by habits/patterns? Would it not be a better way of living if all of who you are is self-directive? This is one of the things the Desteni Process is all about – it is ALL about YOU. YOU changing YOURSELF to be an effective living being. Join in and take part.