When Habits are all you are

 

I did vlog touching on this point and today I am going to explain it a bit more. I am letting go of being the “silent type” by speaking more and doing vlogs helped with that. When I took a break from the vlogs I noticed that I fell back into that pattern/habit of being a silent type. So what I realized is that all these characters we create within ourselves – the angry type, sad type, irritated, mean, spiteful – all these characters are actually habits.

These habits become part of who we are and we define ourselves by it. This is one of the reasons why change is so difficult, because you are stopping a habit. And it is very easy to fall back into the habit than to stop it. Thus far I have made progress – I do not mumble anymore and I make sure my words are clear although there are times when it is not clear.

This can applied to any self-change. You decide to stop the particular pattern/habit like getting angry easily or being very judgmental. There is resistance that comes up within you when you stop a habit and that is because you are busy changing yourself – you are stopping something that you have lived for a long time and made part of who you are. It takes time, but the important thing here is to not give in/give up. It is very easy to fall back in the habit/pattern , because that is how you have lived. To change it means living something new – something you have not yet lived. It is a self-directive decision to stop habits.

Now the question is of everything of who you are what is a habit/pattern and what is something you direct? Is everything you do a self-directive action or are you simply following a design? Why do we allow ourselves to be directed by habits/patterns? Would it not be a better way of living if all of who you are is self-directive? This is one of the things the Desteni Process is all about – it is ALL about YOU. YOU changing YOURSELF to be an effective living being. Join in and take part.

Day 189 - Why Speaking is so Difficult – The Silent Type

 

Thus far I have covered preferring to be alone, not being good with people and not being able to communicate effectively which are some of the dimensions behind a typical silent type character. Today I am going to write about speaking.

I have never been able to use words effectively to express myself. I could not say how I felt, because the words simply did not come to me in way that can explain it exactly. So I decided to not speak allot, because I felt it was a waste of time. What I did not realize back then is that the reason why the words did not come was because I did not have the words – I did not have the vocabulary. It is fascinating how such a decision greatly affected my life. If I realized the importance of vocabulary in my school days I would have done better at school. Instead I compromised myself and developed a personality and defined myself as being the strong silent type. A wonderful justification and excuse.

Looking at this whole situation I see now that being the silent type was not “just who I am”, it was a choice I made based on my fears and not having the tools to communicate effectively. I was not born this way – it was a choice and now I choose to rather be effective with communication. Now to go venture forth on my journey. Without an effective vocabulary I cannot be specific with words. I did not understand the importance of vocabulary back then. In School they say it is important to read – good advice I ignored.

The first step in effective communication is developing your vocabulary in order to use words effectively so that is what I am going to do – learn, understand and apply new words. Interesting point here is with me being a musician and writing songs I always had great difficulty writing lyrics for my music and that is because I did not have an effective vocabulary. If I had an effective vocabulary writing would be easier.

A very useful phrase I have learnt is that knowledge is useless without application. The next step is to place myself in situations where I use words and speak to explain things. This will assist me to communicate effectively and support me to get over that uncomfortable/nervousness I have whenever I explain things. A simple thing to do here would be to start doing Vlogs so that is what I will do – push through the resistances and make videos until speaking effectively is as natural as breathing.

Speak, king, quest, journey, video, vlog, support, DIY, directive, practical, loner, silent type, personality, Desteni