WTF is Self support and Why is it Important?

 

Today I am starting a Mini-Series specifically about Self-support. This point has been a recurring point that came up a lot in my life and revealed in many ways. And as I go deeper into this point new dimensions open up and I discover many new layers in regards to self-support.

Now, I have written a few blogs on Self-support and every time there is something new that comes up and that is cool, because with every layer I learn something new about myself.

What I can see now is that I have lived my life wanting support from others. Be It from my family or friends – I wanted to be supported in all aspects of my life. I am sure many live like this – always looking for support, but unwilling support yourself.

If I look back to my relationships I had in the past with girlfriends the primary point I looked for was support – I wanted support. And when the relationship ended I would look for it elsewhere. I never once considered that the fact I was look for support from others was an indication that I was not supporting myself, and because I was not supporting myself it influenced every decision I ever made. I wrote a blog about indecision and the lack of self-support is directly related to it.

I could not make decisions without help/support from others. Without a clear confirmation I always struggled with making choices. It was easier to get others to help me with making choices, because then there is no uncertainty and always someone to fall back to when the choice was a mistake.

And so I lived like this my whole life – always looking for support from other people and never being the directive principle in my life. This not only lead to me struggling to make decisions, but also unable to stand on my own – lacking inner strength and feeling inadequate all the time.

Since working on this point I have definitely changed. I realized that I must be willing, able to support myself – I must be able to stand on my own and be the directive principle in my life. To make choices on my own and not be afraid of making mistakes, but to learn from my mistakes. This particular process I have walked for a long time – to actually, practically live Self-Support.

In my Next blog I will continue this.

Day 107 - Why am I doing what I'm Doing?

Today I am looking at Why am doing what I do - specifically related to writing, music and farm.
The first thing that came up was another question - for who am i doing this? For who do i write music and these blogs? And the answer - for others.
I am wring to assist people who face similar problems as to give them clarity. I write music for  the same reason and so that others can hear and see a point they didn't knew existed or how. I Also with farm activities like planting trees - I'm planting and watering the tree so that it can grow. I'm cutting the grass so that the horses can eat and have nice soft beds to sleep. Lots of examples, but did not see any problem with this  until now.
And for a while it was foe for me to live like this, unfortunately i missed a crucial point within all I do - ME.
I'm still living my life ignoring myself and placing others as more important than me. so much so that I completely disregard myself when doing something like writing. This is My journey to life - yes my writings may assist some as that is in part why i post it online. But I should write for myself - otherwise if i write for others this becomes very difficult
When planting a tree who am i within it? I enjoy farm activities like working with fruit trees, but because i do not consider myself, meaning I am not aware of myself when planting trees then Its like work-  I miss out.
Same with music - it has become difficult to get a song out - because I ''forgot'' about myself. I worry about what others will think about the song and how they will judge the song. What happens then is that making music becomes a chore and my effectiveness is reduced. I should be writing musing for myself - then its fun and allot easier.
yesterday i wrote a bit on anger - constantly dedicating yourself for others only can become frustrating and is also very limited depending how effective you are. What mean by that is If i do not work for myself and do things for myself as well as others then I will be limited to who i am now. Also i will miss out of life. 
Stay tuned for the next episode featuring exclusively - all about self consideration and stopping limitation - right here tomorrow. Thanks for reading