Day 279- Why do we choose to create bad experiences???

 

Ever had the experience where you need to do something for the day and you don’t feel like doing it, but when the time comes to do it and your busy with it you find it’s not actually that bad? So why then did you think it’s going to be crappy and why did you not want to do it to begin with?

For example when I was in school and the teacher gave me homework. Throughout the day I would be like totally not looking forward to doing the homework. The more I would think about just how unpleasant it would be the more I would not want to do it and the more I postpone. Some days I would even simply not do it, and the next day I would cram it in quickly before class starts. Other days when I finally push through the resistance and just get to it I found it was actually not that bad. It was not as unpleasant as I thought it would be. So what made me think that it would be bad?

The problem comes with the thinking part. When you have something do to for the day we often start thinking about how it would be doing it – this is mostly based on past experiences. We think about times we did a similar thing before and where it was unpleasant or the bad experiences we had with particular task. For example homework – I would think about all the times I had to sit and struggle with homework and how time consuming it was and how it kept me from things I liked – I would take all of that and project it onto the homework that I need to do later that day.

Also thinking about it we already create the disdain and resistance towards the task ahead by linking it to past experiences. We already create the experience before we even get to the task. So looking at it it’s not the task that makes you not want to do it – you created the “bad” experience even before you started.

This is actually a very unnecessary experience, because we cannot know exactly what we will experience when doing the task that lies ahead of us. It will always be based on past events and assumptions formed from beliefs and ideas, but the fact remains – I will not know unless I actually do it.

Next time when there is something that you need to do, but don’t want to or feel like doing know this – by thinking about how bad it will be you actually create more resistance towards the task and create the bad experience you will have. This can be applied to anything you do. In the end the best thing to do is to stop the thoughts about how crappy it will be – stop creating the experience. Stop the thoughts and when the time comes to do this task simply do it. Stay out of your head be here and get it done and move on. Wouldn’t live be much simpler when we realize that we create how we experience ourselves…

Day 173 - When Happiness is Escaping Reality

 

This is a continuation and conclusion of the previous blog which you can easily access by clicking this link right here:  link

This is the self-forgiveness’s on the previous blog

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to feel good by looking at thing outside myself to make me feel good, because I feel down

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need something outside myself to get me out of feeling down

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to, when I feel down - investigate the reason  why I feel down

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I am the one who created/accepted and allowed the feeling of being down within me and I am responsible and thus that I am the only one who is able to clear myself from it / release it from within and as me

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that the need to feel good is to suppress the fact that I do not feel good.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that when I do go from a negative - feeling down/bad - to a positive - feeling good/happy - from a point of desiring to feel good: then I did not in fact deal with the feeling of being down. I did not in fact direct it and thus it is still existent within me and is the reason why the feeling of being down will always return.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that the desire to feel good and to do so by finding things outside myself is me running away from my problems and not wanting to face myself and walk through the feeling of being down.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that the only method that is effective with dealing with a feeling of being down is to actually  find the reason - within myself - why I created this feeling and how I did so.

I commit myself to stop wanting to "uplift" myself from a feeling of being down by finding things outside myself. Instead I realize that to deal with problems within me I need to investigate the reasons why and how I created the feeling of being down in the first place and then stop it

I commit myself to take self-responsibility for what is happening inside myself and not find things outside myself to run away from that responsibility

I commit myself to stop suppressing what I feel - instead I face the points within me

I commit myself to stop the belief and idea that I am able to get myself out from feeling down by doing something fun - instead I realize that If I did not in fact direct the point the all I and doing is avoiding and suppressing the point of feeling down 

I commit myself to see, realize and understand that – I cannot ‘run away’ from myself by suppressing the bad and running to the good, because I am ALWAYS HERE WITH ME! And so therefore, I commit myself to assist and support myself to no more run and hide in the good, but face the bad/negative within me – so that I can be stable, standing, here with me and learn to LIVE me, because how can I truly live as long as I always attempt/try to ‘run’?

Day 95 -Escapism and Game Addiction

 

Years ago I was heavily addicted to this one game. It completely took over my life. I liked it so much that i would go to bed late and wake up about 2 hours before I go to work just to pay the game. I was in a relationship that time and i spent so much time playing that game that i basically ignored the relationship which pretty much ended because of it.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to a game

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to in this addiction completely ignore the real world around me just so that i can have more time to feed my addiction

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become selfish in my need to 'get a fix' by doing what I can to make more time to play the game to satisfy myself and compromise others

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give into this addiction and control my life where all i can think of is playing the game.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to feeling powerful as my game character levels up and keep playing the game to feel more powerful

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to the feeling of accomplishment when I reach my goal in the game - not realizing that I feel as if I accomplish nothing in life and the game makes me feel better so I play it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the game as an escape from reality and as an distraction, because games are fun and easy - not realizing that I am running away from reality and not wanting to face life

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is the game that makes me feel powerful, not realizing that i am the one creating the feeling  within myself.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that addiction is something that happened to me - its caused by the game as if the game has power over me - not realizing that i created that addiction and I allowed myself to become addicted.

I commit myself to stop addiction by realizing that I created the addiction and that i have the power to stop it by choosing to stop it

I commit myself to realize that I ignored the world around me and escaped from it by playing games, because games are easier and fun whereas life is difficult - and that i cannot ignore the world around me. Instead I commit myself to make the world a better place

I commit myself to stop believing the power and accomplishment i feel when playing games to be real - and to realize that real power comes from changing within to become an effective being that is the directive principle in my life

I commit myself to stop all addictions as being addicted is me giving my power away and becoming depended on something outside myself

I commit myself to not become the picture below...

Day 4 – Escape to the Stars and Beyond

When I was young I liked lying down on the porch at night and stare at the stars. It filled me with amazement. Tonight I was sitting on a chair outside and looked at the stars – very bright and abundant from the farm which is  away from city light that drown out the sky. And as I looked at the stars I was filled with a longing. A want to just go there. But it’s more a want to get away from here – this world and all its shit - To leave it all behind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be filled with a longing when I look at stars – a desire to escape this world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to escape this world and seeing it as too much to change it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to face the abuse and shit we have allowed in this world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear facing what we have allowed within this world, in this not wanting to take self-responsibility.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to take self-responsibility for what I have created part of this world

I commit myself to take self-responsibility for my world – seeing that when everybody takes self-responsibility for their worlds we create a self-responsible world

I commit myself to not face away from the shit of this world – but to do all I’m able to do my part in making it a world worth living in

I commit myself to not want to escape to an imaginary world where everything is fine – but instead I commit myself to actually create it and make it a reality