Day 325: Is Thinking the big cause of our inner pain?

What if all our personal problems can be traced back to thoughts? What if all that is needed is to stop the thoughts? There is a power in thoughts most of us do not yet realize, especially to what extent we are directed by it.

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Day 305 - You really cannot Save This World

Nope, That is Impossible.

But There is something else you can do - have a listen.










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Self-Value and Self-Worth and Repetitive Failure

Writing about value and self-worth

When I judge myself as ‘not good enough’ or ‘not worthy’: I have no value for myself. Within this starting point, everything I do will be doomed to fail, because I see myself as not good enough and thus I have set myself up to fail even before I started. I create my own failure.

If who I am has no value or self-worth as judged by myself - then giving up is an easy thing. It is easier to give up on yourself and a particular task than it is to actually do it and push through by giving it your all. The question is what is “your all”? When “your all” is self-value and self-worth then self-judgments of unworthiness would not exist within you.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as unworthy and not good enough

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to keep reminding myself through backchat and thoughts that I am not good enough – trapping myself in an endless cycle

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see and judge myself as having no value and everything I do has no value and worth

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within this judgement create events and situations where I fail and am not good enough to prove to myself that I am not not good enough and will always fail

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that if I keep on judging myself as unworthy and not good enough - I will always give up on myself and everything I do will represent how I see myself as having no worth/value.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that self-judgments of unworthiness and a failure I create failure within everything I do even before I have started.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I created the idea that I have no value or self-worth and that it is a belief and not real, because I do have the ability to change it and will only be/remain real in my Mind if/as I do not assist and support myself to in fact change. Meaning, it is real and it isn’t real – it is real, in the sense that I am continuing to in my Mind accept/allow it to be real and it isn’t real, in the sense that I have the ability / ‘power’ to change it/transform it.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to let go of this belief and idea that is not real so that I can free myself from it and stop limiting myself and my potential and start moving myself by doing and pushing through within all I do

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that If I have self-worth and self-value then unworthiness and not being good enough will not exist within me.

I commit myself to stop judging myself as not good enough and not having any self-worth/value. I realize these are beliefs and ideas I have created within myself and that it is not real

I commit myself to stop the thoughts and backchat of ‘’I am not good enough”,” I have no value”,” I am “unworthy” and stop limiting myself.

I commit myself to stop trapping myself in an endless cycle of failure by stopping the belief and idea that I am a failure, instead I push through within all I do the best of my ability and if I do fail I learn from it and move on

I commit myself to realize the self-worth and self-value I have by seeing how far I have come and everything I have faced thus far and pushed through. To realize the stability and trust I have created within this all and by judging myself as not worthy or good enough is me dishonoring myself and all I done thus far.

I commit myself to let go of this self-judgment and move on and not allow this to limit my life and instead give my all within what I do.

Day 148 Facing Something New

 

Facing something new - anything that I have not yet done and don't know how to do that brings in an experience of fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see new challenges and new points that bring uncertainty as being bad and something to fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when facing uncertainty to go into fear that I would not know what to do and fail

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I would screw up in this task, because I have not done it before and thus don’t know if I am able to do it

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that there is no way that I will know if I will fail with something unless I have given it my all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as not good enough when facing a new point

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I have faced new points in the past where I was uncertain and regardless of that I pushed through and moved past it and learned that it was not so bad and learned new things

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that if I see myself as not good enough for this new task at hand and fear that I would fail – I set myself up to fail – where I would create a pattern and face this new task with the starting point of ‘’I am going to fail’’ and then create that failure, instead of facing the task head on and giving it my best

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to give myself a chance when facing a new task – to embrace this new challenge and see it as an opportunity to learn something new about myself and this particular task.

I commit myself to stop seeing new challenges and new points as bad and something to fear, instead I see it as an opportunity to expand myself and learn something new about myself

I commit myself  stop going into fear of failure when facing a new task, instead I breathe and realize that I have faced many new points and uncertainty and regardless of it I pushed through and did it as saw it was not as bad as I made it out to be

I commit myself to stop the belief and idea that if I do not know how to do something it means I cannot and judge myself as not good enough for it. Instead I realize that I did not know how to do many things I do now – and I know now, because I taught myself how and learnt from others and it is like this with many points. Thus when faced with new points I simply do not know how to do it…..yet.

My own Personal Fight Club

 

In my previous blogs The main point was me fighting myself all the time - the polarity between being lazy and being disciplined and how I believed the only way to get disciplined from being lazy is to force it and fight myself - this is not the way to do it, there is no need.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see how I created a polarity between being lazy and disciplined - and in that reacted to me being lazy and used that to fuel myself to become disciplined

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize how I used energy to fuel my motivation in order to be disciplined in order to be leaser, instead of it being a natural living expression or who I am

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that change is difficult and must be forced and that the only to do so is with energy as thoughts, backchat and reactions from my mind to change who I am - not realizing that doing so I come from the mind. Doing this I only in my mind - from a lazy/negative energy to  discipline/positive energy and within this not really changing who I am.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that although change is walked through resistance it does mean I need to fight through it/have a internal revolution -  I used force/energy to try and me what I have done is use energy against energy, raging a war against myself, and internal battle and thus making change  difficult for myself by creating more inner conflict

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize and understand how to use physical breath - which is a real physical force that is gentle strong and direct. that it is pointless to fight myself and use energy to fight energy - adding more fire to the fuel and instead  using breath to simply not participate in the energy. By simply continuing in whatever I am doing physically moving myself while breathing and not participate in the mind.

Day 104 - Time, Irritability and expectations

 

Over the last few days since my last blog I haven't yet written a blog. I didn't ant to write something, because I thought I did not make any progress. I had an expectation that my stomach problem would be better right away and because it was not better I had the belief that i failed so i was pretty much moping the last few days. 

I had a closer look at myself and my actions and what I have notices is that I have become more aware of myself. I would see myself walking fast - then stop and walk slow. I would see myself becoming tense  - then slow down and breath. Irritated I stop it breathe and slow down.

So i did not fail - I have in fact made progress. I have been hard myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have an expectation on how fast my problem will solve it self

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that just because i did not met my expectation then it means i did something wrong and I failed

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not living up to peoples expectations

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become disappointed with myself, because  did not meet my expectations

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that things take time.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that i did in fact make progress

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look past the progress i have made, because I believed it was not enough

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be so hard on myself

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I create more anxiety when I do not meet my expectations and believed i have failed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by the idea of time, the belief that things must not take time - it should be very fast - not realizing that things do take time.

I commit myself to stop creating expectations

I commit myself to stop the belief that if something takes long I must be doming something wrong - instead I realize that things do take time

I commit myself to being disappointed with myself - instead I realize that i can only be disappointed if i created an expectation or if i did not do something to the best of my ability - in that case i realize the mistake and move on

I commit myself to stop the fear of not being able to live up to peoples expectations - instead i  realize its my expectations.

I commit myself to stop being hard on myself - instead i take note of my progress and make sure i do not beat myself up when I make mistakes

I commit myself to not allow something like disappointment and failures to bring me down and make me inconsistent - instead I push though the point here now and not postpone. I realize that ill walk through the point anyway so i might as well do it now.

Day 95 -Escapism and Game Addiction

 

Years ago I was heavily addicted to this one game. It completely took over my life. I liked it so much that i would go to bed late and wake up about 2 hours before I go to work just to pay the game. I was in a relationship that time and i spent so much time playing that game that i basically ignored the relationship which pretty much ended because of it.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to a game

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to in this addiction completely ignore the real world around me just so that i can have more time to feed my addiction

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become selfish in my need to 'get a fix' by doing what I can to make more time to play the game to satisfy myself and compromise others

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give into this addiction and control my life where all i can think of is playing the game.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to feeling powerful as my game character levels up and keep playing the game to feel more powerful

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to the feeling of accomplishment when I reach my goal in the game - not realizing that I feel as if I accomplish nothing in life and the game makes me feel better so I play it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the game as an escape from reality and as an distraction, because games are fun and easy - not realizing that I am running away from reality and not wanting to face life

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is the game that makes me feel powerful, not realizing that i am the one creating the feeling  within myself.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that addiction is something that happened to me - its caused by the game as if the game has power over me - not realizing that i created that addiction and I allowed myself to become addicted.

I commit myself to stop addiction by realizing that I created the addiction and that i have the power to stop it by choosing to stop it

I commit myself to realize that I ignored the world around me and escaped from it by playing games, because games are easier and fun whereas life is difficult - and that i cannot ignore the world around me. Instead I commit myself to make the world a better place

I commit myself to stop believing the power and accomplishment i feel when playing games to be real - and to realize that real power comes from changing within to become an effective being that is the directive principle in my life

I commit myself to stop all addictions as being addicted is me giving my power away and becoming depended on something outside myself

I commit myself to not become the picture below...

Journey to Life Day 43 - ''Fear of Failure'' Character

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create the fear of failure character and to believe that it is real

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience fear when faced with something new that i have no idea how to handle

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by this fear of failure that i become ineffective within what i do

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become uncertain with this this fear and believe that i cannot do anything

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that fear in not real

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that fear is something that i created - because i am the creator - and within this i can stop the fear

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that there is no way that i know if i will fail with something unless i have given it my all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to realize that if i fear failure then that is what needs to happen so that i can face it and move past it - instead i clear myself from it now

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if i don't walk the moment with confidence and self trust but instead move as fear and self doubt i will indeed not be effective and fail

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold to this character throughout my life and never realized my power of creation and do something about this fear by choosing not to accept and allow it as who i am

I commit myself to stop the character of fear of failure

I commit myself to stop my self doubt and fear when facing points and situations

I commit myself to be confident and have self trust in every breath

I commit myself to realize that this fear of failure is not real but something that i have created and in that i delete this character

I commit myself to face every moment without fear but with gratefulness for this opportunity to become more effective in who i am

I commit myself to stop being paralyzed by fear in becoming overwhelmed with uncertainty 

I commit myself to  face every moment self directed and not to be directed by my thoughts feelings and emotions

I commit myself to realize that i decide who i am in every moment and that i determine who i am

I commit myself to clear myself from this character and to show others the same and to assist them with it

Journey To Life Day 31 - Being Overwhelmed

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel overwhelmed - that everything is too much for me handle

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the world is a gainst me and out to get me when everything seems to go wrong

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame myself when things go wrong seeing myself as a failure and not being good enough and experiencing unworthiness when things get tough

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience hopelessness when i believe that I cannot face what is here and to get lost in the magnitude of the problem we are facing here on earth before we can make this world a world worth living in

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I don't have the power to face this life, but to give in to fear and to allow fear to direct me - not realising that I haven't given even myself a chance  to realise the power I have to change my life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to get everything done fast because i fear i wont have enough time to get it all done - and in that haste and fear to look at the big picture and get overwhelmed by it not realizing that i wont get it done fast and worrying about the future is utterly pointless

I forgive myself that I have mot accepted and allowed myself to breathe - to focus one point at a time and realize that through time and  accumulation one point becomes many points and in that ill get things done effectively instead of doing nothing by worrying 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that blaming myself has no point - self blame is knowing I am responsible but wallowing about it and not doing something about it.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to to instead of blaming myself when things go wrong to take self responsibility - in that take action and do what needs to be done - instead of doing nothing

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I have the power the face any point that comes up in my life and that each point is an opportunity for me to push though and become stronger and more effective

I commit myself to stop becoming overwhelmed when looking at the big picture but to take it day by, breathe by breath, point by point.

I commit myself to accept that this will take time - and that there is no quick fix

I commit myself to realize that hopelessness cannot exist if i breath and take it one step at a time and that i can only be overwhelmed if I  believe that i am not able to walk this process

I commit myself to give myself the chance to walk this process and to realize that i do in fact have the power to stand and face whatever points comes up.

I commit myself to realize that all fear is my doing and that it is not real

I commit myself to give myself worth and the power to face each point

Dealing With Failure:

 

 

Perfection – There is one saying that i always thought was really cool ‘’everybody makes mistakes’’. That made me feel good about myself, because if i make a mistake then it is ok – everybody else does as well.

That good feeling was short lived because as i grew up  i realized that even though everybody makes mistakes, there are consequences for those mistakes. But that's another story.

The point is that in this process of self  and peeling of the layers of self and facing various aspects of yourself – you make allot of mistakes.

I have struggled with points and like all Destonians have fallen and faced failure. I was always hard on myself and still am when i cannot break though or transcend a particular point within myself. And being hard on myself i have actually made standing up again allot more difficult.

When making a miss take – instead of learning from it i tend to hold on to the idea and feeling that i am a failure. And when i struggle with a point i bring back all of my previous mistakes and failures and pile it up with the next one.

This where backchat is a bitch – I eventually go through all my failures and mistakes over and over – refusing to see what i have accomplished so far – and then eventually all that remains is the failure.

And then i believe that to be true – from there everything else starts with the preconceived idea that i will fail. And then that is exactly what happens  - I have created it. And it started with a thought.

EveryBody makes mistakes – this doesn't mean that perfection is not possible – simply not to be hard on yourself when you make a mistake, but to move on.You are not defined by your failures – but your ability to stand up from it.  Learn from it and move on.

Join us the quest of self perfection and dealing with failure   - Desteni I process.

Desteni I Process solves all your problems

• Why do you always make the same mistakes and just cant seem to stop falling in the same patterns?

• No matter how hard you try you cant get over somebody.

• Why are you always attracted to the same kind of person?

• Why are you angry\sad\frustrated\ all the time?

• Why is it so dam hard to express what you really feel?

• Why do you give up easily?

• Why worry about money if you don't have to?

What will surprise you is that you can find the answers to these questions and allot more about yourself in yourself.
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