Day 126 - The Consequence Of Unawareness

 

We hear the expression ''Shit hits the fan'' and ''shit load'' and ''full of shit''. Today we had both - We had a shit load when a shit truck got stuck in the mud. I should have taken pictures, but i did not, sorry.

Today was a very eventful day were we faced new challenges and stared shit right in the face. every year we get a honey sucker - a truck that sucks out the shit in our septic tanks. Today the truck drove over an flow away which is a trench in the ground where the septic tanks overflows into and the front left wheel sunk almost completely into the ground.

Now we had a really big problem - the truck was already full of shit and now weighed over 5 tons. Eventually after 5 hours and jacking up the truck and placing brick under the wheels and getting the tractor to pull the truck we got it out. Yeay.

Now usually when the shit truck comes i make sure it does not drive over any of the flow away's so that it does not get stuck, but today i did not do that. This forms part of my loosing focus blog where I have become less aware in my world and today it clearly showed itself in full force. That lead to a consequence - an event that could have been avoided.

Another point I realized is that doing something for a while eventually there is a belief that I do not have to be so focused all the time - like getting used to something you do not pay that much attention anymore. Its total bullshit obviously.

I got my ''5 hour lesson'' today where the event showed me something about myself that requires direction. So i directed it.

Thanks for reading - ,more on this tomorrow.

Dealing With Failure:

 

 

Perfection – There is one saying that i always thought was really cool ‘’everybody makes mistakes’’. That made me feel good about myself, because if i make a mistake then it is ok – everybody else does as well.

That good feeling was short lived because as i grew up  i realized that even though everybody makes mistakes, there are consequences for those mistakes. But that's another story.

The point is that in this process of self  and peeling of the layers of self and facing various aspects of yourself – you make allot of mistakes.

I have struggled with points and like all Destonians have fallen and faced failure. I was always hard on myself and still am when i cannot break though or transcend a particular point within myself. And being hard on myself i have actually made standing up again allot more difficult.

When making a miss take – instead of learning from it i tend to hold on to the idea and feeling that i am a failure. And when i struggle with a point i bring back all of my previous mistakes and failures and pile it up with the next one.

This where backchat is a bitch – I eventually go through all my failures and mistakes over and over – refusing to see what i have accomplished so far – and then eventually all that remains is the failure.

And then i believe that to be true – from there everything else starts with the preconceived idea that i will fail. And then that is exactly what happens  - I have created it. And it started with a thought.

EveryBody makes mistakes – this doesn't mean that perfection is not possible – simply not to be hard on yourself when you make a mistake, but to move on.You are not defined by your failures – but your ability to stand up from it.  Learn from it and move on.

Join us the quest of self perfection and dealing with failure   - Desteni I process.