Day 179 - Everybody makes mistakes

 

Everybody makes mistakes

The first time I saw these words was on a shirt. On the shirt it was written “ EVERYBODY MAKES MISTAKES”. I looked at this shirt and I felt relieved. I thought that it was awesome that everybody makes mistakes. It is not just me. It is ok to make mistakes, because everybody else also makes mistakes. It showed me that nobody is perfect and no matter that I do I will make mistakes just like everybody else.

It also shows the general belief of humanity – that the human is imperfect and will always f**k up. That no matter how hard you try you will always make mistakes. It promotes limitation. It is a very nice statement that justifies limitation and actually makes you feel good for being limited.

I completely disagree with this statement of limitation. Yes - everybody makes mistakes, but that should not make you feel good for being imperfect and part of a world full of mistakes. It should motivate you to become perfect. That is the point of mistakes – to learn from them and never make the same mistake twice. Then you stop making the same mistake.

Everybody makes mistakes – that should make us all feel ashamed for being human. It is like the statement “ nobody is perfect”. Why the f**k not? Why can the human not be perfect? Why should I accept this limitation? I did not ask these questions. I saw it as a very nice statement and it made me feel good not to be perfect. It is a very nice justification and excuse to not find a way to be perfect.

So – it is cool to make mistakes, because it is the best way to learn. You learn from mistakes and move on with new found wisdom that can be used to not make the same mistake again. Perfection comes from learning from your mistakes and pushing through to not make them again. The 7 year journey to life is a journey to perfection. Let us stop this limitation and justification of rewarding imperfections and instead become perfect human beings:

Desteni

Doing it for Myself

 

Doing something for yourself is considered being selfish. Today I am looking at another dimension of this word. A big part of this journey to life is to write about yourself or to write yourself out - basically focus on yourself to become an effective living human being. Some may see this as being selfish saying " you must help others to make this world a better place, so focusing on yourself is being selfish!!!". The question here is: how does one / can one assist others when you can’t even /haven’t assisted yourself? You start with yourself to be effective and to be able to support another.

We’re all like in a big steaming pile of quicksand - before you can pull others out, you have to first get yourself out. Like what they tell you in the airplane safety video "In the unlikely event when there is trouble with the plane, first secure your own oxygen mask before helping others". It is not being selfish - you simply can’t help others when you are suffocating.

Within this all, I do I look at my starting point for example working around the farm and watering trees or planting trees. I am doing it for the trees - to feed the trees and grow more. Within this I am doing it for myself as well, support and assist myself to be here in the moment.

What brought this point up was with doing a particular task that you do not like or have no issue with like cleaning for example. It does not bother me when a house is not sparkling clean - I have no issue with a house that is not exactly clean, but my partner does. So when I cleaned I did not do it for myself, but I did it for her because it makes her happy. The problem with this is: I create an expectation within myself of how the other person will react to me cleaning and being happy and when a event occurs that does not meet my expectations I get angry. Within this I realized that Although I was cleaning "for the other person" from a selfless point it was not in fact unconditional. I was cleaning "for her" to be happy and when she is happy I am satisfied - but then the reason I cleaned was for me to be happy, which was depended from another persons actions.

I am not saying that you should NOT do  something for another person - simply look at the starting point. Now I feed two birds with one big piece of bread ( The 2 birds, 1 stone thing is not cool): I clean to assist and support myself to be active and working/aligning with the physical again after a long time being unable to due to my condition AND it satisfies my partner. Now I actually enjoy having a clean house.

Day 83 - Fearing making mistakes

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear making mistakes

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by this fear that it determines my life and the choices I make where I have no self direction

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when facing a new project to first go into fear of making a mistake and then go into resistance and not wanting to do the project

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when people ask me for assistance to go into fear, because I fear making a mistake and not being able to assist them

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in this fear of making mistake to avoid assist people so that I can all together avoid making a mistake

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being dependable when not being able to assist someone if I make a mistake

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that i will make mistakes and there is no avoiding it and thus no point to fear it

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to when i make a mistake to judge myself as not being good enough and go into a state of being angry at myself and to see myself as useless

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that it is through learning about mu mistakes that I become more effective  and i keep on avoiding them them i will not progress

I commit myself to stop fearing making mistakes

I commit myself stop allowing to be directed by this fear of making mistakes that I will avoid situations where I will make mistakes

I commit myself to when facing a new project to not allow the fear of making mistakes, but to instead do it anyway

I commit myself to when someone asks me for assistance to not allow the fear of making mistakes to keep me from doing by best to assist them - and if i do make a mistake to not see myself as being undependable

I commit myself to when I make mistakes to not judge myself as being useless and not get angry at myself - instead i realize that mistake and leant from it so that i do not make the same mistake twice

I commit myself to realize that if I avoid mistakes I will not learn anything and stay stuck and never become more effective - so mistakes are cool - as long as i learn from them

Journey to life Day 44 - The ''Depressed'' Character

 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to become the depressed character when things don't go my way

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed to within this cha racter become ineffective in what im doing and cant seem to do anything

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to within this character become tides and want to sleep all the time and to see the world as not a place i want to be

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to within this character see myself as the victim and believe that something was done unto me

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed to use this character as an excuse for not doing all that needs to be done

I forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed to realize that i created this character - and then within that I made myself the victim

I forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed to realize that i have been using this character as an perfect excuse for not doing anything

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed to realize the true reason for this character which is me not wanting to do anything and take self responsibility - and it is me blaming the world which is actually all to do with me since i created this character

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed to believe that this character is real and that it has power over me and that I have no choice but to give into thus character

I forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed to see that this character is not real and in that I have the power to delete this character

I commit myself to stop the depressed character

I commit myself to be self directed and to not allow anything outside myself to direct me and who I am

I commit myself to realize that i created this character as an excuse for not standing and thus I delete this character

I commit myself to not allow myself to become ineffective but to consistent

I commit myself to stop the tiredness when things gets too much - because i see its me facing resistance so I push through and overcome it

I commit myself to stop seeing myself as the victim but to instead see that i created this character and so take self responsibility and delete it

I commit myself to not allow any excuse for not taking self responsibility and to stand consistently

Dealing With Failure:

 

 

Perfection – There is one saying that i always thought was really cool ‘’everybody makes mistakes’’. That made me feel good about myself, because if i make a mistake then it is ok – everybody else does as well.

That good feeling was short lived because as i grew up  i realized that even though everybody makes mistakes, there are consequences for those mistakes. But that's another story.

The point is that in this process of self  and peeling of the layers of self and facing various aspects of yourself – you make allot of mistakes.

I have struggled with points and like all Destonians have fallen and faced failure. I was always hard on myself and still am when i cannot break though or transcend a particular point within myself. And being hard on myself i have actually made standing up again allot more difficult.

When making a miss take – instead of learning from it i tend to hold on to the idea and feeling that i am a failure. And when i struggle with a point i bring back all of my previous mistakes and failures and pile it up with the next one.

This where backchat is a bitch – I eventually go through all my failures and mistakes over and over – refusing to see what i have accomplished so far – and then eventually all that remains is the failure.

And then i believe that to be true – from there everything else starts with the preconceived idea that i will fail. And then that is exactly what happens  - I have created it. And it started with a thought.

EveryBody makes mistakes – this doesn't mean that perfection is not possible – simply not to be hard on yourself when you make a mistake, but to move on.You are not defined by your failures – but your ability to stand up from it.  Learn from it and move on.

Join us the quest of self perfection and dealing with failure   - Desteni I process.