Day 279- Why do we choose to create bad experiences???

 

Ever had the experience where you need to do something for the day and you don’t feel like doing it, but when the time comes to do it and your busy with it you find it’s not actually that bad? So why then did you think it’s going to be crappy and why did you not want to do it to begin with?

For example when I was in school and the teacher gave me homework. Throughout the day I would be like totally not looking forward to doing the homework. The more I would think about just how unpleasant it would be the more I would not want to do it and the more I postpone. Some days I would even simply not do it, and the next day I would cram it in quickly before class starts. Other days when I finally push through the resistance and just get to it I found it was actually not that bad. It was not as unpleasant as I thought it would be. So what made me think that it would be bad?

The problem comes with the thinking part. When you have something do to for the day we often start thinking about how it would be doing it – this is mostly based on past experiences. We think about times we did a similar thing before and where it was unpleasant or the bad experiences we had with particular task. For example homework – I would think about all the times I had to sit and struggle with homework and how time consuming it was and how it kept me from things I liked – I would take all of that and project it onto the homework that I need to do later that day.

Also thinking about it we already create the disdain and resistance towards the task ahead by linking it to past experiences. We already create the experience before we even get to the task. So looking at it it’s not the task that makes you not want to do it – you created the “bad” experience even before you started.

This is actually a very unnecessary experience, because we cannot know exactly what we will experience when doing the task that lies ahead of us. It will always be based on past events and assumptions formed from beliefs and ideas, but the fact remains – I will not know unless I actually do it.

Next time when there is something that you need to do, but don’t want to or feel like doing know this – by thinking about how bad it will be you actually create more resistance towards the task and create the bad experience you will have. This can be applied to anything you do. In the end the best thing to do is to stop the thoughts about how crappy it will be – stop creating the experience. Stop the thoughts and when the time comes to do this task simply do it. Stay out of your head be here and get it done and move on. Wouldn’t live be much simpler when we realize that we create how we experience ourselves…

Missing Life skills: Why do I have a fear of Insects?

 

I heard an interesting discussion on the radio today. The guy who talking is a Nature lover, but the problem he has is that he is absolutely terrified of spiders. He said that every time he sees a spider he actually freezes with fear and starts sweating.

He said that what he did to find the reason for this fear is go back to his childhood. When he was a kid he was playing around the lounge and fell asleep under a chair. He then had a nightmare of a spider coming down from the chair and sitting on his face. In the dream when this happened he went to fear and started sweating and since that day he was afraid of spiders.

This is the reason with most people. You will find that there is a memory from childhood where something happened with some sort of insect that was when the fear began. Allot of people don’t even know this and it could be a suppressed memory.

When I grew up I had a fear of moths. I knew it was a bit weird, but I had a big fear of moths. I could not be in the same room as a moth. I traced the fear back to a memory from childhood. I was in bed about to go to sleep and the room was dark, but I saw what looked like a massive moth flying around in my room. It only happened for a second – like seeing a shooting star – what seemed like a giant moth flying over the bed above my face. I totally freaked out and called my parents…well, more like screamed for them. They came in the room and turned on the light with worried and confused expressions asking me what. I told them what I saw, but I looked around the room and saw there was no giant moth.

I was so certain there was a giant moth, but clearly there wasn’t. Still, since that day I was very afraid of moths. I find this interesting, how a simple event in your early life no matter how small can affect your whole life. And the reason why it effected my life is because when the event happened I did not direct the situation, I was young and did not understand how these things work or how to direct myself.

So this is an example of how an event and how you react to that event can affect your life. This is why it is so important to learn how to become self-directed, so that when these events occur you can make sure it has no effect on who you are, right now we are not taught how to do these things and its an important life skill to have. To found out more go here

Day 226: Please! Stop with the Advertising!!!

 

 

It is everywhere – Ads have managed their way into almost every part of our daily lives. When I Was a kid the only Ads I saw was on TV. Most of my free time was spent playing outside so when we were young were not bombarded with the magnitude of Ads people see today.

We do not have a TV anymore, but I still see plenty ads everyday even though I live on a farm. When I turn on my radio in the car – There are Ads. As I drive through town – There are Ads. When I am on Facebook – there are Ads. When I look at news on the Internet – There are Ads. When I do a Google Search – There are Ads. When I download a free app for my phone – There are Ads. Checking emails – Spam Ads. Receiving SMS – Spam Ads.

It’s really getting out of hand. As a kid when I went to watch a movie on the big screen the only Ads they showed were future releases of movies. Now there are all kinds of Advertisements before the movie even starts. They are even Advertising in Schools! On School buses, in gymnasiums, on book covers, and even in bathroom stalls.

“School advertising also appears under the guise of educational TV: Channel One. Currently available in 12 000 schools, Channel One consists of 10 minutes of current-events programming and 2 minutes of commercials. Advertisers pay $200 000 for advertising time and the opportunity to target 40% of the nation's teenagers for 30 seconds.⁸⁹ According to a recent government report, Channel One now plays in 25% of the nation's middle and high schools⁸¹ and generates profits estimated at $100 million annually.^{89” - http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/118/6/2563.full}

Sneaky – Very Sneaky. Now a days when a child has the ability to hold a cellular device or tablet they are exposed to many, many advertisements. That’s children as young as 2 or 3 years old that are already being targeted al for companies to make profit. And Advertisements have become extremely effective over the years – you see it and you are like “YES – I NEED THAT”, but you did not need it before you watched the Ad.

The problem is that children and people are not educated on how Advertising works – How it plays the emotions and feelings and how it actually directs you to do what the ad tells you to. Before you can do that you need to understand how emotions and feelings direct you and to see how you are actually not the one who directs your life. How do you do that? Find out in my next blog.

You do not really know them…

 

 

Animals. We have plenty here on the farm. Before moving here to the farm I have never been around such a variety of animals: chickens, ducks, geese, horses, cats, dogs, parrots etc. It has been interesting thus far to be around them.

I always had the idea that once you see one horse you have seen them all - NOT true. We have 9 horses here and none of them are the same. They all have a uniqueness about them and once you are around them and observe them more closely for a while, you can clearly see this for yourself. Humans have become so disconnected from nature and the animals.

The same can be said for the cats and the dogs. We have many dogs and cats and all of them are different and none are the same. The parrots as well and even the chickens and ducks. I have never been around so many animals and just assumed that they are "just animals", it was only when I was here on the farm living with animals that I had the opportunity to realize just how incorrect I was with my beliefs and ideas about animals. Unless you have actually worked with animals, you really do not know anything about them.

Another thing I did not know about horses. I take care of Grootman (picture ) and what i have found is that he is a reflection of me - what I see in him is me. Horses do that - they reflect who you are and within this there is much you can learn about yourself. Grootman has taught me a lot about myself. Horses also like testing your directive principle and are extremely sneaky and manipulative to do this( yes, horses manipulate and are very sneaky). What I mean with Directive principle is that the horse wants to know if he can trust you - trust that you are able to lead effectively. If they find you cannot lead/are the directive principle then they themselves take the role by pushing you, nudging you, ignoring you and in some extreme cases kick and bite you to leave them alone. 

The farm was also the first time I had the opportunity to raise a dog by myself. With Peoper( in picture) it has been interesting. When I first got her she was sleeping on my lap in the car and I experienced myself getting nauseous. I really had to concentrate on my breathing so that I do not puke all over the car. As I was sitting there looking at her on my lap all cute I asked myself “why Am I nauseous?” Nausea is related to fear and what i have found is a fear of raising her. I feared all the bad things that could happen to her - that I will form a connection and feared that she might die and I would have to go through that again. I was basically fearing what happened to Timeless(my precious dog who had hip-dysplasia). Also that I would not be good enough to raise her and all kinds of shit. I stopped the fears and moved on. She is almost two years old now and has a very full, joyous expression. In the end I can now clearly see that my fears were not real and simply useless self judgements. Another fun fact is that we both share the same birthday.

So humans have a warped idea about animals and are blinded from seeing who they really are. We do not see who animals are, we do not make the effort to get to know them. They are alive and each have their own self-expression and they express it to the fullest. There are so many of them on our planet , but instead of living with them, getting to know them we destroy and kill in the name of profit and greed and that has to stop. Join us to stop this once and for all, Equal Money System and by redefining human rights: read here on REAL human rights :

Equal Life Foundation

Day 79 - I'm Doing the best I can

 

Since being on the farm we have worked on many projects - and within those projects you leant a great deal about yourself - you can see how much work has been put into a certain project and depending on how effective the project is when its done reflects on the person.

Its really awesome to do something physically yourself - like fencing or building a nursery and laying down a concrete floor - its stays there for a very long time. You can look back and say to yourself '' I did that''. And with every project I did I always looked to become more effective so that when i do this particular project again - i will do it better. And with lots of practice, research and assistance i found better and more effective ways to do things.

Every time When i was finished with project I told myself i did the best i can, but i did it better the next time - so then ''doing the best I can'' got better, which indicated that 'my best' back then was not in fact my best. At the moment with I my knowledge and ability that i had it was the best i could do - but i also had the ability to do better and i proofed it later

The point im making here is that when someone say that they are doing the best they can it is usually related to a point they did and did not do good enough. So they get defensive and try to justify their limitations by saying:'' I DOING THE BEST I CAN!!!'' . I had a few projects where i did not in fact do the best I can where I believed I did,  and then someone would bring the point out and after being pissed of and throwing tantrums to try defend and justify my work i then did realize I was slacking. 

I remember a time when we started closing a hole in our dam wall so that we can have a dam with lots of water  - we had to take wheelbarrows of sand bags and loose sand to the wall which was very difficult. The hole in the wall was  about 2 meters  wide and 4 meters long( this is an estimation - thickness of the dam wall). We only closed it up about a third of the hole - it was a shit of sand and bags to do that and i thought that was good enough  - it will hold. A while after that the flood rains came and the bags were not nearly enough to hold the pressure of the water in the dam so it broke and got washed away - loosing all the water in the dam.

I really felt like shit - the first sign that i did not actually do the best i could - because if I did I would not feel like shit. That is where I learnt about consequences - that when working n the physical you can see in real time the consequences of your actions - I learnt that my actions have REAL CONSEQUESNCES so i saw the reason why you should do things PROPERLY - rather make sure by doing MORE instead of risking not doing enough - no matter how i feel about it.

You do it once and proper so that you don't have to do it again. (We did then later fill that hole completely and hammered in steel rods. Then we even made the wall thicker with more bags to ensure it hold the water and not break.)

 

It is to do the best you can - to the best of your ability and then to find way to improve your best so that you can become more and more effective so that the ability gets better and better. Do not accept that you are doing your best - do better every time 

 

Learn to become and effective human being - www.desteniiprocess.com

Join others in the quest of becoming effective: www.desteni.org

Lets create a world that is effective : www.equalmoney.org

Journey to Life Day 8 – Not writing everyday

I forgive Myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself by not writing 

I forgive Myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage myself by not supporting myself through writing everyday – knowing that writing will assist me in being effective

I forgive Myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give into excuses to not write daily

I forgive Myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not push through the resistance of writing everyday

I forgive Myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to give myself that opportunity to expand myself effectively and know myself by writing daily

I forgive Myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow backchat to exist and to believe that writing daily won’t really help me

I forgive Myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to do this because others are doings this, instead of writing every day for myself to benefit myself.

I forgive Myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I don’t have the time to write every day, not realizing that this is simply an excuse

I forgive Myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see writing everyday as ‘work’, not realizing that seeing it as work is me not doing for me but as an obligation. I do this for me

I commit myself to write everyday