Day 304 - How to hide from Life:

 

 

Well, you can’t.

I’m sure many of us have had those days where you simply dread the next day or what is to come. Where you simply do not want to face what lies ahead and want to simply run away and hide somewhere. I had many such moments in my life, where I wished I had a genie to wish the problems away, unfortunately that is not how life is.

Right now I do not want to face tomorrow, because tomorrow we will have to let one of our horses go. I know what is involved - losing someone close to you is sad and painful. I know what is coming tomorrow and I do not want to. But the fact is that tomorrow is coming whether I like it or not.

What can we do in these situations? Hiding is not an option, we cannot hide from life. We cannot choose to not face certain points and events in our lives. But within these events we actually do have a choice – and the choice is how we respond to these events. It’s how we direct ourselves and who we are within all these events and happenings.

So no, we cannot hide from our lives, but we do have choice. To trust ourselves that whatever comes no matter what that we are able to get through it Instead of going into that “ I can’t do it, I don’t want to do it, please make it go away” experience within yourself.

So even though tomorrow is a dreaded day – I will face it head on.

Day 283: Having a Bad Day? The problem might be 'Thinking'...

Today I had what we call a ‘Bad day’. One those days where it goes on and on and on and where you wish you can simply skip the day and not have to live through it. I am now at the end of this so called ‘bad day’ and looking back it wasn’t actually a such ‘bad day’ and I made it far worse than it really was. So why did I create such a bad day for myself? What caused this?

It all started the day before, where I started to plan my day and already saw it’s going to be a full day of relatively hard work for me. Here I already created the experience of ‘ it’s going to be a looong day’. I planned the day ahead with time estimates and when I’m going to do what. My day started with an unfortunate event where I spent time tying off an area for the horses – it was unfortunate, because I tied of the wrong area and had to undo what I did. Here the first thing that came up was” SEE, I KNEW IT WAS GOING TO BE A BAD DAY!”. I brought the thought and idea I created the day before into this moment to validate it and make it real.

From that point on every little thing that went a little wrong irritated me more and more. The weather report said it was going to be nice and cool day, which would have made raking up a field for hay for the horses a bit easier. Instead it turned out to be a hot day. When we were done with the hay I was quite tired, but still had quite a few things on my schedule before this day was up. And I went through all those tasks with the experience of “ im having a bad day”.

The things that happened today are not something new. Many a time the weather changes, or I have to totally redo something or things don’t go as planned. What made this day so bad is that I already created and decided how I am going to face and experience this day before I went to bed. The problem was that I allowed one thought to direct my whole day and only now at the end of the day did I see this.

This is something I could have totally avoided if I simply directed that single thought. This is why it’s so important to slow yourself down and watch for these thoughts. How many thoughts do we have running around in our heads undirected? Very problematic when one single thought can affect my day to such an extent. – imagine what many thoughts can do? Teach yourself how to direct these thoughts and become the director of your life

Day 277: What does it mean to be "Here" in the moment?

 

You have probably heard this a few times in life “Live in the moment”. What does it mean to live in the moment? What does it mean to be here in the moment? And more importantly why is it so hard to actually be here in the moment?

The next time you are doing something like cleaning your house or some gardening pay attention to where you thoughts go. I was walking through the orchard one morning assessing the damage from a recent hail storm which unfortunately destroyed most of the figs. Anyway, as I was looking at the trees and trying to fix some of the damage and salvage what I could, I was constantly thinking. Thoughts like thinking about what I’m going to do next and what I’m going to make myself for lunch and other plans of the week etc.

So while I was busy picking damage fruit and trimming broken branches I was thinking about other things. I was not actually here in the moment, but in the future looking at plans and things I am going to do next – instead of being here and focusing on what I’m currently doing.

So being here in the moment means actually being here in the moment. It’s Not thinking about the future and constantly being in your head. While I was thinking about these things while walking in the orchard my awareness was diminished. When I realized what was doing and stopped the thoughts to simply be here in the moment I could hear the birds that I did not notice before.

Not being fully here in the moment we tend to miss things – it is in these moments that we tend to misplace keys, or forget about turning the oven off or any other event of forgetfulness. Simply because when you were putting down the keys you were in your head and not actually aware of your environment.

So bring yourself back to earth and be Here

Day 238: Self Discipline - Where did it go?

 

A very important part of this process is Self-discipline – Without it self-change is nearly impossible. Without self-discipline you will always give into any resistance you feel and thus you never actually change.

It’s a hard thing to change yourself. With every change there will be resistance. With every task that you do not “feel like” doing there will be resistance. This is why self-discipline is necessary, because whenever there is something you should be doing, but do not feel like doing, without some level of discipline you will always give into the resistance. There will always be the one thought that will justify your choice not to do the task.

Unfortunately that is how this works. I can take myself as an example here. When I first started working with my hands around the farm I had big resistance towards it. Eventually I realized the importance of why this particular tasks needs to be done and so I did it regardless of how I felt about it. So what I basically did was pushed through resistance I felt and simply did the task. I did the task with the understanding that it needed to be done. Through the years of working with my hands I developed self-discipline and found it supported me in that regard.

Now it’s been a long time since my primary focus was working with my hands. Since my thyroid went haywire I was unable to do anything physical so I had to refocus my attention and time towards other things and this made me realize something new about self-discipline.

Once you have Self-discipline it is something you have to apply consistently in your daily life. It does not magically take away the resistance when you do something you do not like doing. The resistance still comes up, but then applying discipline you push through it and do the task no matter how you feel about it or what thoughts seems valid enough to keep you from doing it. When you decide to allow that one thought that will keep you from doing the tasks at hand (or in other words give into the resistance) then you don’t have that discipline anymore.

As you work through resistance you start to see just how far you will go to give into the resistance. All kinds of thoughts comes up: ‘’I’ll do it later” ,“ I had a long day”,” I’m tired”, “ I need a break and time for myself”, “ I do not have time for this” etc. That last one is a big one, because 99% of the time you do actually have time for it, but would rather use the time do something you like.

I used allot of excuses before not to do something. And today I had a look at the point of blogging, really went deep to try and find an actual valid answer to why I am not blogging more regularly? Sure, there were reasons, but none of which could truly justify it. There comes a time in life where all that’s left to do is to say: “Screw IT! I’m doing this!! Right now!!!” and then do the thing until it’s done. And my time is right now. I know I have been absent in the “bloggersphere”, that changes now.

IF there are others who are facing the same issue – where you have a big resistance towards something you should be doing – look at the reasons and thoughts. Really look deep and see for yourself that none are valid and that there is actually time. It’s time to simply say: Till here no further, Screw the resistance. I’m doing this. Right now.

Day 124 - A Feeling of Being Stuck?

 

I had a look at my overall experience of myself and what came up was the word stuck. I feel stuck. I do not know how get myself unstuck, but that is not true.

Being stuck and not knowing what to do is an obvious consequence of not creating a path for myself so that I know what to do. I have to create for myself  what to do and then do it.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have a feeling of being stuck

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed  myself   to create this feeing of being stuck and to believe it to be real

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed  myself to listen to this feeling and to become it where I believe that i do not know what to do about it

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed  myself to have the thought '' I do not know what to do'' and to listen to this thought and believe it to be real and have power over me

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed  myself to be directed by this thought

I forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed  myself to stop this thought when it first came up and direct it and delete it from my existence so that I wont be directed by it - and in allowing this thought to continue I became it as a total experience of constricting and limiting myself and not move of as i allowed myself to become ineffective 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed  myself to allow this thought within myself and the resulting feeling of being stuck and then me allowing this feeling to make me ineffective within blogging effectively, writing music, breathing, my awareness and my body.

I forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed  myself to realize that if I had stop that thought when it first came up and saw it for what was  - bullshit - none of the above would have manifested in my life.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed  myself to realize the importance of stopping these  thoughts and to realize the outflow and consequence of not stopping these thoughts

I commit myself to stop the feeling and belief that i am stuck - instead i realize that it is a justification i use not to move on, because I fear moving on.

I commit myself to stop the fear of moving on and realize that there is no point to fear change, instead i embrace change, because with every change there is something new where i can test  develop my effeteness.

I commit myself to stop the thought of ' I do not know what to do'

I commit myself to create my path so that i Do know what to do - writing and supporting myself and others, music, supporting the Equal Life Foundation, Equal Money system, being aware and grateful and respectful of all the beings in my world who make it possible for me to be alive.

I commit myself to stop these thoughts so that it does not direct me , but so that i can be the directive principle in my life.

I commit myself to not allow a feeling or a thought to affect my effectiveness, instead i commit myself to be consistently effective.

Thank you for reading my blog and being part of my journey to life - if you want to start a journey to life and stop being controlled you are gonna need the right tools. The following course is free and it has the tools and methods i use everyday in my life:

Go here: http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

Journey to life day 23 - Being unaware

This happens quite often - do you find yourself walking to a room, get there and then not remembering why? Do you look at your watch for the time and then after you looked someone ask you what the time is and then you don't know?

Today I went to make myself some tea - but I made coffee instead. In these situations you"ll find that the reason this happens is because your not here in the moment but n your head thinking, being unaware of the world around you.
 Your body is still here so it goes into auto-mode while you are in your head - and the silly things happen

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be unaware of my environment by going to a place in my head.

I forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed myself to to see that the place in my head is not real

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give up my self distinctiveness by allowing myself to not be here and allowing thoughts to direct me

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to allow thoughts to direct me in not being here

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not stop the thoughts so that i can be here and be aware of myself  and not miss take the world around me

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to go into behavior patterns in allowing myself to go into auto-mode where i have no self direction and being directed

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to walk into a room and have no idea why i wanted to go there in the first place - in this allowing myself to go into my head as i walk and not being here and thus unaware with no self directive power.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give my thoughts power over me by allowing my thoughts to direct me

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the thoughts are real and have power over me

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to leave this moment HERE to project myself into the future and in that not being here in the moment

I commit myself to stop believing that thoughts have power over me

I commit myself to stop allowing thoughts to direct me in not being here

I commit myself to stop the thoughts so that i can remain here

I commit myself to be here

I commit myself to breath to assist me in being here

I commit myself to be self directive

I commit myself to not give my power away to thoughts, feelings and emotions

I commit myself to not be aware of myself so that when i see myself going into my head to stop it immediately to bring myself back here

I commit myself to stop projecting myself into the future, but to remain in the moment