Journey - Listen to My Body : HYPERTHYROIDISM

 

Its been a while since my last blog. Those who were following this blog series know that i have been having problems with my body for a long time now. After lots of test and a hospital visit including a colonoscopy(not a fun thing...) I have finally found the name of the cause : Hyperthyroidism.

A Refresh on the symptoms I have: fatigue/decreased energy, constipation, frequent bowl movement, increased heart rate, muscle weakness, shaky hands/body, weight loss ( i lost 10 KG) sweating. All this, because of an over active thyroid.

A Hyperactive Thyroid is when the thyroid(sits in your neck) excessively produces thyroid hormones. The Thyroid hormone is important at a cellular level, affecting nearly every type of tissue in the body. Thyroid hormone functions as a controller of the pace of all of the processes in the body aka metabolic rate.

Now you know more about your Thyroid.

I am relieved that i know what it is, very. No more wondering. The body is a wondrous thing. Me and my body have been living together for some time now. Since i started with Desteni i have learned to listen to it. Your body shows you things about yourself so my body is revealing to me ....something. I am listening and beginning a new journey to find out more about myself.  

The first point I noticed was the word HYPER in hyperthyroidism. If i look at myself and what i do within task I am always rushing or tense, basically hyper. for a long time now. It became normal for me so i didn't notice it then, Now i did.

So here starts my journey - ill have a look at my symptoms and write on how It relates to my lifestyle/who i am. Stay Tuned

A story about Strength and Powerlessness

 

It has been a while since my last blog. The reason why is, because I allowed how i feel to control and direct me. A story first:

I have problems with my body and have been to doctors who still dont know what is happening to me, I went to have a colonoscopy  at the hospital last week Friday and let me tell you that is not fun. In order to have a colonoscopy done you have to first clear out your sytem - meaning they give you a very strong laxative the day before to get all the shit out. You also cannot eat anything. So that Thursday i was very hungry and shitting most of the day. By Friday morning before the procedure i was feeling like shit.

Unfortunately for me they did not find anything. Fortunately they did not find anything - good and bad news, because I still don't know what it is. last week i had an ear infection and now i have the FLU.

I am now on an diet where i only eat whole foods for a month to see if it might be something that i am eating that is not agreeing with my body and that takes some time. I basically cannot eat most of the foods I usually eat so that is fun as well. If the Diet does not work or i get worse then i would have to go back to a hospital to do more test. 

Through all of this i have leaned that i must stand no matter what, to not allow anything to get to me or influence me in terms of who i am. But that has proven to be easier said than done. i stand and breathe and then something new comes along like an ear infection or the FLU and then i allow myself to get angry at myself and then i fall on that point, Where I should have not allowed it to inFLUence me as who i am and feel powerless. Give myself and realize that i have the strength and power to get through this - and apply it.

More on this tomorrow

Day 140 - Pain and Discomfort Letting you Down?

 

I have had stomach problems for a long time now, went to the doctor a month ago and said i might have an infection. After the medication it showed i did not have an infection and the next step is to stick a camera up there to see what is happening. Im really not looking forward to this.

The last six month with my stomach problems has gotten to me - meaning i am allowing myself to become more sad, irritated and angry. This problem I have is not going away. The backchat about it is accumulating and im not stopping it and breathing which is why im getting sad, irritated and angry.

Now i will write it out of me so that I can stop this from happening, stop being overwhelmed by my condition whatever it is.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become angry, because of the pain and discomfort i feel

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become irritated, because of how i feel physically.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become sad and depressed, because my stomach problems are not going away.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become affected and directed by how I feel physically

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in my anger to lash out and take it out on other people

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in my anger to have backchat about things and think about situations where i am angry.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become less effective, because i allowed the pain and discomfort to influence who I am.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to push through the feeling of wanting to give up and give into the discomfort and pain - instead of pushing through.

I commit myself to stop being angry, because of the discomfort i feel - and to instead breath and stop the anger

I commit myself to stop being irritated, because of the discomfort I feel - and to instead breath and stop the irritated

I commit myself to stop being sad, because of the discomfort I feel - and to instead breath and stop the sadness

I commit myself to stop being directed by how i feel physically in terms of being emotionally directed - and to instead not be directed by how i feel.

I commit myself to stop the the backchat and not to continue and keep on fueling it.

I commit myself to stay consistent

I commit myself to stop lashing out and taking my anger out on people, instead I stop the anger and backchat and make sure that when I speak to people i am clear within myself

Day 139 - Machine Gun Preacher

If you haven'’t watched this movie then do so.
I watched this the other day and was simply amazed at this guy. Its about a man who lived his life doing bad things. He started going to church and chose to change his ways. He also has a wife and a child in the movie. Its based on a true story of this guy named Sam Childers. 
He got a job owning a constructing business and one if his jobs was in Sudan  Africa.
I don't want to reveal too much of the movie - my words wont be able to describe what that guy did. He dedicated his life - really dedicated it - to take care for children in Sudan from the war. The rebels - what they do is attack villages rape and kill every woman and kill every man. The children they force to join them and train them to become soldiers. Sometimes they force the child to kill his own mother.
What Sam Childers did was did everything he could to save the children - to build them a save haven regardless of the danger to his own life. He really cared for them - like really care. i was amazed how somebody could care so much for children he does not know. He saw children in need and did something about it- no matter what it cost him.
Now why he is called Machine Gun Preacher you'll have to watch the movie. Watch it anyway to get some prospective.
It is  horror seeing what those people are going through - those children and it is happening everyday. And we live our lives with nit a care in the world. if a group of people came to your country - South Africa, America or whatever - and went into suburbs killing everyone before forcing the children to shoot their own mothers and taking the children to make child soldiers  - what do you think will happen? Will we do nothing and let it go on? No, Action will be taken immediately - we rich countries are civilized and order must be kept.
When it happens to our neighbor countries we do basically nothing - we simply cant even give 2 shits. All they do is say the following: ''We condemn the actions of the rebels''.  Which actually means  '' we are forced to say something about it - but refuse to do something about it - we do care though '''.
Things like this make me want the world to end - it would be so much easier. Like when you have an animal and its hurt and suffering and nothing to do to save it you have to put it out of its misery - we should put down the human race - We are nothing but ticks and fleas on a living organism called earth - and in my opinion A earth Doctor should give the earth Frontline - to rid us from this earth. We are really evil beings.
Some say you cannot sum up the humans race based on the actions of a few bad people. YES you can. Look at the world - the way we humans live is disgusting. If you really look you will see that every human is evil unless you do everything in your power to find solutions to make this world free from suffering. Instead we say its impossible. Evil we are indeed.
Its not impossible, just different. Help create a system where no suffering exists - where money will no longer limit those who really care. Where everything will be done to make sure there is no suffering. People need homes, build them. People need food, feed them. People need electricity, give them. People need sustainable renewable energy, research is and implement it. There are no limitations. Vote and participate at www.equalmoney.org. Show you care.
Join in on discussions and participate ate the Forums www.desteni.org.
If you want to start being the directive principle in your life start by doing the free course here: http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

Day 138 - The world Did not End, But thankfully there are Many more Apocalypses on the way!!!

 

if you re disappointed that the world did not end on 21 December 2012 along with the deaths of billions then do not worry, there are many more dates to look forward to:

Scientists reckon we have between half a billion years (due to falling levels of carbon dioxide) to a billion years (due to expansion of the sun) left before Earth is uninhabitable, and a mere 22 billion years before the universe explodes as it cannot expand any further.- http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/mayan-apocalypse-did-not-happen-but-more-1500397

So there is that, but if you do not want to wait and would like the world to end in your lifetime here are a few end of the world dates:

An Egyptian biochemist Rashad Khalifa who said that he cracked the Quran code  and that the world will end in 2240

Another man translated Muhammad's sayings and according to him one implied the world will end in 2129.

The closest apocalypse is just around the corner : 2018 predicted by Dr. F. Kenton Beshore. His version of the apocalypse is that it would be "extraordinary, humble, fun-loving, yet serious". so that is cool.

On a more serious note -  The world did not end. Look at history, people have predicted the end of the world so many times and it never happened. Those who believed that the world would end  - are you not tired of waiting for the end of the world? It will never happen.

So lets stop wanting to die and to see billions of people die and trillions and animals, bugs, sea life for our own selfish needs. What about them? Does anybody care what will happen to the animals and nature? We are here to take of them, of the earth. NOT to destroy it, We got it all wrong.

 

So lets instead make a world saving day. What about that? A time when we all stop destroying the earth for personal gain. A world where suffering and abuse ends once and for all. Sounds impossible, undoable - its not. Its real and possible and doable.

Make a difference - join us to create World Saving Day Where we all live in a Equal Money System. Nothing will happen unless you make it so. You have the power - we all do - to change the world.

Things you Might not know about Horses

 

My whole life I have never had any experience with horses. I only ever had dogs and cats. I have been around horses now the past 4 years. In the beginning when I started working with horses It was a whole new experience. They are amazing and cunning beings, very sneaky sometimes.

One thing I never new was that horses lie. Yes - they lie and manipulate sometimes. When I exercised Grootman (horse name) he would fake being tired or have no energy just to not exercise anymore. I never knew they do that.

It has been a awesome learning curve  - horses can teach you allot about yourself. They are very physical observing beings. They can sum you up - see all of you before you even get close. They are far more aware of you that you are about yourself.

A few days ago we had one of our horses die - Titan. Titan and Grootman were best friends - you would always se those two together in the fields. I did not know horses form close bonds with each other. On Friday we buried Titan And that afternoon when the horses came back to the stables Grootman started showing symptoms of severe colic. He was crying out all the time for his friend Titan, because he cannot see him anywhere. Everybody gathered around as support for Grootman

We got the Vet out when we first saw what was happening to him. He was basically stressing about not seeing Titan around anymore which caused him to have big problems with his digestive system.

Long story short - the vet did everything she could, but Grootman did not respond to the medicine. He was in extreme pain when the pain killers wore off. The Vet was here from about 6 at night till twelve. The only options we had was to wait till he sorts it our himself and if he does not we will have to put him down.

She left  us enough pain killer injections to help him through the night if needed. Rozelle and I stayed up with him at the stables all night and everybody on the farm helped in keeping an eye on him for when he starts feeling pain again. Which was the next morning where he relapsed again. We gave him painkillers again. From that moment on we pulled through and made it. He is fine now again. All of this was triggered, because he missed his friend Titan. Proof that horses also feel for those who did not know.

He went through allot that night and day - he had to make some hard choices in order to pull through.

to be continued.

Friday the 13th, Black Friday and Doomsday Friday

 

The world is ending on Friday, what a coincidence - that some people always believed that Friday the 13th is bad luck and we have black Friday AND the 21\12/12 the world is ending. This must then be proof that the world will end. sorry to disappoint you guys - it will not end.

What happens when end of the world dates are here and nothing happens? They postpone it. They always say that they are 110% sure that the world will end on a particular date and then nothing happens. then they say it will happen later. Mark my words - they will keep on postponing  the date long after you are dead. There will always be a date when the world is going to end. But it never will.

The world has existed for billions of years and will continue still. We humans will most likely  die off along with all the animal kingdom, because of the way we humans are destroying the planet everyday. We are like a bad case of the fleas or a tick infestation to the planet. But long after we humans are dead and gone the earth will go on. Long after our bodies feed the earth and our race along with our sins and crime against life are forgotten - new life will most likely continue.

We live in a unimaginably vast universe with a number of planets and stars uncountable. Earth is a spec of dust - even invisible with the vast universe. We are very. Just to put things into perspective.

The world wont end with a big bang or have a quick end. We humans have been ending the world all by ourselves. Tree by tree, species by species we have started. we have contaminated its waters beyond repair - we are sucking out its blood/oil dry - we are eliminating our earthlings, other species, for our own personal gain. We have annihilated entire forests along with all life within. We have consumed and poisoned the oceans and all that live in it. And we keep on doing these things - faster and faster and more effectively. We are ending our earth, our only home.

So lets instead make a world saving day. What about that? A time when we all stop destroying the earth for personal gain. A world where suffering and abuse ends once and for all. Sounds impossible, undoable - its not. Its real and possible and doable.

Make a difference - join us to create World Saving Day Where we all live in a Equal Money System. Nothing will happen unless you make it so. You have the power - we all do - to change the world.