Day 71 - ''I'll do anything to fit in'' Character

 

This is related to when i was in school. Where i would change my behavior just so that i can fit in with other people so that they can accept me. So i would compromise myself and who i am so that i can keep my friends and then i change who i am and believe this character is real.

Peer pressure. You can look back in your life and realize that everybody does the same thing - they change themselves to fit in. I was a deferent person depending on who i am with. I would be the 'goody two shoes' character when im around my parents, teachers, friends parents and then a deferent person when im around my friends and then a deferent person when im arou nd a beautiful girl i like.

In this as i look back i ask myself who was I? Who was the real me? When i look at how i was when i was alone with myself i was again another person/character. When i was alone with myself there was no need to change. That was the person who i really was. But i alone knew that and how i presented myself to others was fake and not real. Simply characters so suit my life and the particular situation I was in.

Now i have to ask myself who was I friends with? The person i was friends with was also another character and not a real person. It was somebody like me who chose to be a particular character depending on who they were with. And everybody is like that, a bunch on characters.

Nobody was real - nobody revealed who the really are just like I hid myself from others. And i did this out of fear. We do this out of fear. The fear of not being accepted by others - the fear others not liking who you really are, The fear of others judging who you are.

I find it interesting that I never saw myself as being fake/nor real. I thought i was real. Everybody think they are real. We all believe that this person and character is who we are. But if i was real then who i was would never change. I would not create different characters around different situations, I would be consistent in who I am and what I do no matter the situation or who i am with.

And so I chose and created my characters and became friends with characters that i liked, in this lived a lie - it wasn't real. Who is the real me. Who are you?

This is why I am busy with getting rid of all the characters i have created, because i realize now that it was all a act. I need to become real - find the real person. We all need to become real. To Keep it real 

 

More on dropping the act an becoming real tomorrow. While you anxiously wait for part two go here and vote for a real world at www.equalmoney.org

And then also if you want to become real and stop acting start by going here: www.desteni.org

Journey to Life Day 40 - Being the ''Good Guy''

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to  create the good guy character and to become this character believing it is me and real

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be the good guy in some situations because I want others to like me

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to want others to like and accept me that I will go as far as creating a character that fits in and people like

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to compromise myself for others by being the good guy and do all the crappy stuff so that people can accept and like me

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as less important than others and always place them first and above me to make sure they will like me for it

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become something unreal and made up by being the good guy just so that i can fit in

I forgive myself that i have bot accepted and allowed myself to realize that being the good  guy i compromise myself and who i am by becoming a character just for a desire to be liked

I forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed myself to  realize that my desire to be liked and accepted is because i have not accepted myself and believe that others will give me the acceptance i want

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that wanting to be accepted by people who will believe the character I have created will mean that they themselves are characters and not real as life is

I forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed myself to realize That I am sacrificing myself through compromise and belief by being the good guy - and in being this good guy just to be liked is actually an act of selfishness

I commit myself to stop the good guy character

I commit myself to not use any character just to get people to like me

I commit myself to not sacrifice myself for the sake of others to like me

I commit myself to stop compromising myself for others so that they can like me

I commit myself to see that others are not more important than I am so I stop placing them above me

I commit myself to stop the desire for wanting others to like and accept me and to the accept myself and stop all characters

I commit myself to get real by stopping all my characters to see what remains and to see wanting to be around characters there can be no life

I commit myself to not be characters to it in certain situations because i believe its the only way and also not to be myself because i see who I am is allot of characters - I commit myself to keep deleting the characters