Sunday 21 October 2012

Day 105 - Breathe

 

A new Development.

I got myself a hemorrhoid. Its an extremely painful bump that occurs on your asshole and related to constipation. So here follows some points in regards to it.Anger

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I got this hemorrhoid to become angry at myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become irritated, because I believe i cant get anything right.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become frustrated at this new development, because what is happening to me just becomes worse.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to give up, because i believe that i am doing my best and that this new development means that my best is not good enough.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to force myself to get better without considering my body and consequences

I forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed myself to breathe so that I can be fully here all of me in order to fully assist myself as my body so that there is a consistent flow in all that i do

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let feelings and emotions direct me in making me feel that there is no end to this - that there will always be something wrong with me and that I have no choice within this.emo-spongebob

I commit myself to stop the anger when a new problem presents itself, instead I find the source of it and deal with it.

I commit myself to stop being irritated, instead I realize there no point to being irritated

I commit myself to stop the frustration and realize that its backchat - instead I stop the backchat

I commit myself to stop the belief that if new problems arise then I am not good enough

I commit myself to consider myself and my body by breathing so that I can be fully here all of me in order to fully assist myself as my body so that there is a consistent flow in all that I do

I commit myself to realize that this is a process and there will be new points and problems that will creep up so i commit myself to deal with it as I have done with other problems and realize that i do have the power and overcome them as have chose to do it.

1 comment:

  1. Hey Fidelis - just before I came to the farm the first time, I also got hemorrhoids and it was a very specific (and fucking painful!) manifestation that, when I found the point and released it, the hemorrhoids literally went away within a day, and they were pretty bad, to the point where I could barely sit (I had to stand! - meaning, I had to stand up and take responsibility for what I was accepting and allowing)- so, if you haven't already, suggest to really investigate any specific thoughts/patterns/relationships you are currently facing, especially within/as shame that may be the 'culprit' for these hemorrhoids.
    For myself, as soon as I slowed down and really allowed myself to be self-honest, the point revealed itself clearly.
    Enjoy! As weird as it may be, Hemorrhoids are awesome support, a gift really :)
    Thanks for sharing

    ReplyDelete