Day 289:Desire is the downfall of many relationships - how to make it REAL

 

Desire is the downfall of many relationships if not all. It’s because of this desire that you will overlook certain aspects of your partner just to keep the relationship going. Let’s say your partner tends to show irritation with dogs living in your house and do not like having them in the house. Now you really like this relationship of yours, so instead of keeping the dogs in the house you will keep them outside when he is around. This is a compromise and the reason behind this is fear – fear that this point will cause further conflict and might end the relationship. And so the poor dogs suffer because of your particular desire for relationships.

To live in fear like this – the fear of losing the relationship – is keeping you from expanding who you are and growing. Here is one the Principles that covers this:

“Relationships as Agreements: individuals coming together using agreements as a platform to one-on-one expand, grow and develop as individuals in life and living to support/assist each other unconditionally to reach their utmost potential where the agreement is a coming together of individuals understanding what it means to stand as equals and to stand as one.”

When it comes to supporting another person to be the best they can be there will most definitely be conflict involved, because that requires a point of change and with change there is friction since it does not come easy. So when your partner shows irritation to having dogs in the house and do not want them there – a point of support would be to find the source of the irritation. To open the point up and look at why dogs in the house cause irritation. Let’s say after some self-investigation and pushing and support from the other partner the reason for the irritation is a childhood memory of the partner’s parents who shouted at him whenever he let the dogs in the house. And throughout the years he developed that irritation within himself and projected it onto this situation.

And so you support the partner to overcome this irritation. This is what support means. It is to assist and support each other no matter what. Even if it will cause a bit of conflict – even if it means staring the person in the face and showing them what they are doing is unacceptable – to help them each other through it.

That is a real relationship – one with the sole purpose of assisting and supporting each other. Not because of some desire to have someone on your life or to fill an empty space in your heart, no. Being in a relationship is a commitment you make and a path you walk together to grow and expand. That is the real Deal.

Journey to Life Day 27 - Fear of those close to me Dying

 

I Forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear those close to me dying

I Forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in this fear not wan ting to get close to others - because I don't want to face the pain of them leaving.

I Forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let past experiences of death affect me and to hold on to it throughout my life

I Forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to close myself up and limit myself to make sure I don't get close to anybody, but to keep them at a distance and push away and also suppress myself to make sure that when they die I wont feel pain

I Forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become overwhelmed with sadness when I think of what will happen if somebody dies that's close to me - in that further suppress myself and push those away so that I don't  have to face the pain.

I Forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to to stop the thoughts of those close to me dying - not realizing that I am reliving my past experiences of death and pain over and over and not letting go

I Forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that to live life in fear of death I am in fact fearing to live life - not wanting to take changes and playing it safe. This is not living life free but living in constant fear. I Forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that i am being selfish only thinking of myself - because in my fear of others dying and not wanting to get close i deny them any support from me. In this fear of death I limit myself and will never be effective in supporting others

I Forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to  define myself by this fear of death and to believe that is who I am and that it will forever scar me for life and be a part of me.

I Forgive myself that I have not yet accepted and allowed myself to let go of the past and move on and allow the past to affect my present and future.

I commit myself to stop thinking about others dying and reliving the pain

I commit myself to stop allowing  past experiences to dictate my life

I commit myself to let go of the past and to not let fear keep me from getting to know others

I commit myself to realize that life is really fucked up - and that death is a part of life and that I can do nothing to stop it - but not to fear it and allow it to change who I am and what I do

I commit myself to live life in spite of the pain that comes with it - and to live life is to live it in such a way that others may also live it and to not stop living life to the best of my ability.

I commit myself to stop hiding and suppressing myself and to stop pushing people away - because that is me being selfish and only thinking of myself