Day 106 - Anger

When I become angry or irritated because of something that is happening to me – like somebody doing/saying something that I take personally and want to lash out at them – all common sense goes out the door and my actions become unreasonable.

Its feels like I’m stuck in a sort of mode that I hold on to, and while in this mode I simply become nasty. Thoughts run through my head where I portray myself as superior to the person who made me angry and how I am always right and the person is wrong.
Now when I step out of this mode, I can see my mistake.
But when im in this mode, I am right and everybody else is wrong.  

This is a reaction that is not directed, because my actions and words are directed by the anger.
Instead of directing the anger into a self directive action where the words I speak will consider all that is involved at that moment and that it will be supportive and according to what is best for all.

It is not to stop anger, but to direct yourself, instead of being dire by anger.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be overcome with anger where I do not have control over what I say

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when someone says something that offends me to take it personally and react in anger

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the anger is real - not realizing that it originates from a thought - which has no substance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lash out at people and become completely unreasonable when I’m angry.

More on this tomorrow

Day 97 - Taking things Personally

 

You know - when someone someone comments on something about yourself and then you take it personally, blaming that person for your reactions to the words.

And when someone snaps at you and you react and take it personally by becoming angry as if someone did  wrong by you.

It is a belief that its the other person that has done something to you by snapping at you and calling names where you take it personally. But that is not true...

If I react in anger when someone tells me i am an idiot then it is I who reacts. The other person does not have special powers that control what i feel. I created the angler all by myself that I feel within myself. Therefor i cannot blame the other person for what i have created, because if when i take something personally then I myself take it personally

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to take things personally

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a character of taking the words/expression of another personally, where I will literally take what another says or does, out of context of the moment here and interpret it according to myself as a personality, based on memories and experiences of myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself  to when im in situations of conflict to believe that I am being attacked and thus take it personally and feel the need to defend myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the other person controls how I feel and that they are to blame for the reactions I feel within myself.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself myself to realize that i an the one who chose to take it personally and that i created the feelings and emotions and reactions and thus cannot blame the other person

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself myself to give the other person power over me and to make them as being authority when i react and take offence to what they say, not realizing that i created all of this

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to be the directive principle in my life where i am not directed by others and where i stand strong in each moment here where i decide what moves within me

I commit myself to stop taking things personally

I commit myself to be the directive principle and stand as stability here in every moment

I commit myself to realize that I create the reaction and that choose to take things personally so I choose not to react

I commit myself to stop blaming the other person and believing he is attacking me and thus I need to defend myself, instead i simply don't throw the ball back and not participate in the game of anger and conflict and insults and gossip

I commit myself to stop giving my power away by giving in ad reacting and take things personally, instead i stop and realize that i am the one who creates how i feel and who i am in situations.