Day 48 - How alcohol destroys life and why to stop it

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to seek for ways to make myself feel better in life because there is so much i don't like about it and with drinking alcohol I can suppress all the bad things in my life

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i can drown my sorrows by drinking it all away and in that make my life not seem so bad

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use alcohol as an excuse to not sort out my life and take self responsibility but to instead try and forget by drinking

I forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that as long as i drink alcohol as a cure for all my problems - my life will never change - because i see my life as ok when i drink thus not giving myself a reason to change myself and deal with my problems

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to then in moment become overwhelmed  with sadness in my drunken state and then to try make that go away by drinking more - not realizing that by suppressing all my problems they accumulate and eventually come out and this is proof that i cannot drink away my problems

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let myself go when drinking alcohol and in this lose the ability to suppress myself any longer and become overwhelmed with anger and rage which i have been suppressing through out my life

I forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that drinking alcohol i loose my self directive and become possessed by  all my feelings, thoughts and emotions and all the backchat  - in this I become a very dangerous being that could harm another depending on my suppressions

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to punish myself by destroying my body and my life with drinking - believing that i don't deserve a life

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately throw my life away and gave away self responsibility so that i can have an excuse not to face myself and the choices i made  and to use alcohol as the perfect excuse to not change - and then to create the believe and choice that alcohol has power over me and i cant stop it.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i do not have the power to stop drinking - not realizing that i am the one who DECIDED to drink and i gave my power away - i created this and in that i can DECIDE to not drink my life away and to commit myself to this choice

I commit myself to stop seeking ways outside myself to make myself feel better and to make my life seem better like drinking alcohol - but to instead look within myself and to sort out my problems

I commit myself to stop hiding and running away from my problems and to keep on suppressing them but to instead face myself and sort myself out

I commit myself to stop using alcohol as an excuse for not taking self responsibility for my life and the reason for why i cannot change

I commit myself to take self responsibility by looking at the choices i have made over the years  that shaped who i am today and what i allow and don't allow - and to change them accordingly

I commit myself to see that i am the creator and that i created this belief that alcohol has power over me and that is what i decided to be true - and as the creator i commit myself to stop this belief and to take my power back by choosing to stop alcohol and to let go of the hold that alcohol has on me realizing that it is not real

I commit myself to become self directive and to not allow anything outside myself to direct who I am 

I commit myself to stop punishing myself but to let go of the past so that i can move on with my life 

Day 45 - Frustration Character

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create the frustrated character to deal with certain situations  

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become frustrated when i don't seem to get anywhere and when i believe that things are moving slowly

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to get frustrated when I cant understand something or don't ''get it''

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become frustrated when something takes longer than i expected or didn't meet my expectations

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become frustrated when i had a 'bad day' and somebody ask me to do something that i don't feel like doing

I forgive myself that i have accepted not and allowed myself to be patient in my life and want things to move faster

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have a believe that everything in life should come easy and fast - not realizing that this is not so but a believe that i created

I forgive myself that i have  accepted and allowed myself to be directed by this character in giving up on what i was doing because i believe it doesn't work based on my believe on how it should work

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that the frustration is not real but something i created and believed to be real and in that i let it go

I forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed myself to stop the frustration and to believe that its the only way to deal with situations - not realizing that i am being directed and not being self directive by breathing through the resistance and letting go

I commit myself to delete the frustration character

I commit myself to see that things take time

I commit myself to realize that i created the expectations of how fast something should move contrarily to reality and thus stop expectations

I commit myself to be patience

I commit myself to breathe through the frustrations so that im not directed by it and influenced by it

I commit myself to from this moment on not become unnecessarily frustrated when something doesn't go my way - and to realize that things do take time

I commit myself to see that becoming frustrated is actually useless and that its much more effective to let go of it so that i can move on and not give up

Journey to Life Day 41 - Being to Hard on Yourself

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become the character of being to hard on myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to in this character be so hard myself and believe that what i am doing is not enough or has no effect in this reality

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to only take note of my failures and mistakes and to allow it to consume me bring me down

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become overwhelmed by my thoughts and backchat of me being a failure and to in this overwhelmingness  feel the need to simply give up

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that the backchat is real and to listen to it as if it is real

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that because things move slowly that i am doing something wrong or i am not good enough

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see all i have accomplished until now and how much i have changed and to give myself some credit - but to instead believe that it is not good enough

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that this will take time and that there is no quick solution

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to keep looking at the big task ahead and the big picture and to feel hopeless in it all - instead of staying in the moment and to focus on one point at a time

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see that being hard on myself is a self created character that is not real and I have no need for it

I commit myself to stop and give up the character of me being hard on myself

I commit myself to stop the belief that what I do is not good enough

I commit myself to stop take note of all my failures and mistakes, but to let go of them and to move on and to learn from so that I do not make the same mistakes

I commit myself to stop becoming overwhelmed by mu thoughts and backchat but to instead stop thoughts and backchat so that it doesn't accumulate and cause problems

I commit myself to realize that this will take time and that there are no shortcuts and that because its taking so long doesn't mean that i am doing something wrong

I commit myself to see all that i have done thus far and to take note of that to see that i am changing and getting somewhere

I commit myself to stay in the moment and focus on one point at a time so that i don't  become overwhelmed

I commit myself to realize that this character of me being hard on myself is not real and not necessary

Journey to Life Day 29 - Past Memories

 

 

When I was a kid my parents took us to see large machines shaped like dinosaurs. I really like dinosaurs so I really wanted to go and I remember the tickets were not cheap. But when we went in the dinosaurs were really big and scary and load. I got so scared that I started to cry and scream and wanted out and so we all had leave. When we got outside I regretted it because my parents got the ticket so that I can see the show but then it was just a waste of money.

And to this day that memory still pops up and I still feel the regret

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get a fright when I hear loud noises

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that loud noises can hurt me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to link loud noises with my parent yelling at me and in that believe that loud noises mean angriness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my parents were disappointed at me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let money direct me and make me feel regret for wasting their money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have wasted their money - realizing that its my projected believe and how i perceived the situation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold to this memory and reliving the regret instead of never let go of this memory

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by this memory in trying to live my life in such a way that I never experiences regret and in that live not really living

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to based in this experience fear regret and not allowing myself to live life

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to direct myself in clearing myself from this experience so that I can live my life self directed instead of being directed and haunted by the past

I commit myself to stop fearing loud noises and not to associate loud noises to conflict

I commit to stop being disappointed in myself by doing what i am able to do to the best of my ability

I commit myself to stop regret - I cannot change the past and if i would have done things differently I would have sp there no point in regretting

I commit myself to learn from the experiences to see what I can do to change the point so that I don't have the same experience

I commit myself to  stop allowing myself to be directed by the past and to let go of the past so that I life self directed 

I commit myself stop projecting myself unto others and to stop assuming the worst.

I commit myself to see the importance of letting go of the past - because who i am today is because of the past and if I don't let go  i can never be self directed but will always be directed by the past.

Journey to life day 19 - Sweet Sweet Revenge

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have thoughts of hurting someone for the pain they caused me

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that they are responsible for my pain

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to hold on to the pain and to believe that the only way for the pain to go away is to make them experience the pain

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by this pain and dedicate myself to have my revenge

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself not to see that i am the one who created the pain - nobody can influence me unless i allow it - and thus i can stop the pain

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become possessed by the obsession of having my revenge.

I commit myself to stop the thoughts of wanting to make someone pay for what they did to me

I commit myself to stop the quest for revenge

I commit myself to stop holding on to the pain 

I commit myself to take self responsibility for myself and direct myself to stop the pain that i have created myself

I commit myself to stop allowing myself to be influenced by others