Part 3: The great Gifts ( And Downfalls) Of Being an Introvert - Stepping Past Limitations

 

Part 3: The great Gifts ( And Downfalls) Of Being an Introvert - Is Change possible?

I have been looking over the Internet and at the general idea of how people see Introverts. I have defined myself as an introvert and many points I read I can relate to. So today I want to give some perspective on introverts from personal experience, because what I have found in my life is that people do not fully understand the nature of an introvert and this leads to miscommunication and other problems

In part 2 I went into more detail with the traits: Being and Observer and Disliking small talk. Today I'm going to look at the other 2 common aspects of being an introvert which is:

Like Being Alone and Avoiding Conflict

I like spending time by myself. This does not mean I always want to be alone, simply that I like being alone and I am comfortable with myself. This I also see as a gift, because some people have a hard time being alone and need to always have someone to be comfortable.

The problem here with liking being alone comes when I am in social situations, sometimes it gets too much and then I feel the need to “escape” and be alone again. Also sometimes I will not feel like talking to people and will try and avoid/hide from people whenever possible or keep conversations short. There is a direct link between avoiding people and like being alone – with being alone it is not possible to develop any social skills. So the more you are around people the more you want to be alone again, because you lack the skills to participate.

It’s almost the point with avoiding conflict. In my previous post I wrote I wrote dealing with conflict means dealing with very forward kind if aggressive people which is something introvert really do not like. The reason for this is because of the lack of communication skills. Imagine a person being angry and starts shouting at you demanding things right now – and being an introvert needing time to look for words dealing with a person who simply spits out words – not a match there. So it’s easier to avoid conflict than deal with it.

The problem with that is when something is bothering you about a person, or you see something that might support another you will not speak up and instead keep it to yourself, because you fear dealing with the conflict. How can you effectively support a person if you are afraid to speak up?

To sum it all up – The main point here for me is that I never developed effective communication, because when I was younger I created a resistance towards it and so adapted myself to live with this inability to communicate properly and even created a whole personality from it just so that I do not have to face the resistance. So within all of this I actually created the introvert inside me. I wonder how different my life would have been if I chose to face the point and practiced communication to not be an introvert – but then I would not have developed all the other skills I have now.

I cannot change the past, but I can change my future. I Keep the gifts of being an introvert and start starting working on the downfalls and other points where I have difficulty like practicing communication.

Thanks for reading – and to the introverts reading this: There is nothing wrong with you, but being an introvert has its limitations. You do have the power to stop and move past the

Day 115 - Human Defense Mechanism

 

Animals and insects have defensive mechanisms:

Chameleons change color, spiders bite, scorpions stings, ducks claw, cats scratch, dogs bite and stick insects....look like sticks. All for survival. Now today we are looking at what happens when humans are attacked -  not physically, but verbally. If someone talks shit about you you go into a reaction and often feel the need to defend yourself. When you take something personally you react and go into defensive mode where you will become angry and act out the anger either physically or verbally.

Why The need to defend oneself when somebody says something about you? Why do i allow the other person to influence me? It should’ not matter what another says about mw, because i know who I am and who im not. There should be no need to defend myself - otherwise I give power to the person over me.

Here follows the steps to clear myself from this point:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to go into defensive mode when someone is saying something about me that i take personally

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to within this defensive mode to attack the person verbally

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give my power away by allowing the other person to influence my behavior by reacting to what they say

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to care what people think of me and in this feel the need to defend myself

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear others judging me and this i feel the need to defend myself so that others don't believe what the other person is saying about me

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to after the event further defend myself with backchat of thoughts in my head where I will see myself as the better person and the other person as very inferior to me

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to act on the anger and be directed by this anger by going into defense mode

I forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed myself to simply not take things personally

I commit myself to not go into defensive mode

I commit myself to stop taking things personally

I commit myself to stop attacking people verbally by stopping the anger and not be directed by it.

I commit myself to be self directed and not allow other to influence who i am

I commit myself to stop the fear of judgement from others

I commit myself to stop the belief that i need to defend myself - instead i realize that it doesn’it matter what other say.

I commit myself to stop the backchat of me seeing myself as superior and better than others

When i face  point where someone is talking shit about me, or says and do something that i will take personally - to stop and breath. I realize that it doesnt matter what others say about me. I direct the point by either walking away or find the reason why the person said what they said WITHOUT reacting in anger.